Exhibit A:
See this sad, bewildered, POW face? Yeah, it's hideous, I know. I'm gonna do a little run-through of Aaaaaaaaaaaavril. Here goes:
1. The hair: Yeah, Avril, see, there's this thing called a brush. I'm pretty sure they have them in Canada, though, I may not be sure. Looks a little dingy. Shampoo. Now there's a good product.
2. The eyes: A little too big. This situation kind of reminds me of my cat: Her eyes are too big for her face. The eyeliner does NOT help. You say you hate makeup? I find that hard to buy when you're wearing all that whale blubber around your peepers, there, Avril-sama. Make up your mind.
3. The lips: Here we go again with the makeup debate: Avril dearest, if you hate makeup so much, why are you wearing lip gloss? And another thing, Avril's lips scare me. They're like a big wavy M. Too curvy. The top lip is a touch thin, too.
4. The tie: No. Just no. A tie doesn't make you a punk. I've never worn a tie in my life, but *mock horror*, a number of my friends have said I'm pretty punk. The clothes don't make the man, Avril. Get that through your massive cranium.
5. The shirt: Ruffles? RUFFLES?! Do my eyes fool me? The only people I've seen who wear ruffles on shirts are preps. Hear that, Avril? You are a prep. Get over it.
Exhibit B:
Now for a full-body shot. Work it. Covergirl.
1. The shirt: Look at Avril, trying to be "hardcore" with her Tom Morello-imitator shirt. It looks better on him anyway. I mean, compare Avril with this. Next.
2. The pants: What the hell type of fabric is that? It doesn't look like anything I've seen Sid Vicious or Johnny Rotten wear. Not the punk material, I'd say.
3. The shoes: OH MY GOD! She's not wearing Converses?! It's the apocalypse!
4. The headbang: Please. Don't humor me, Lavigne. "Complicated" isn't THAT hardcore.
5. The guitar: And here she is, Avril the "guitarist", playing the ONE song she actually knows. Strumming three chords doesn't make you a rock god (or goddess, in this case). Hell, I know some stuff on the guitar, but I don't claim to be better than everyone else. Get a grip, Avril. You're not the best, and claiming that you just makes you even worse.
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