quotes8

"If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too."

"On Gilligan's Island, if the professor could build a radio out of coconut, why couldn't he fix a hole in the boat?"

"Creativity is great but plagiarism is faster"

"I'm so cool I can hardly believe it!" - The spider off Sim Ant

"It's got rabies, but it's magic"

"When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head."

"None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there."

"I Don't mind being called a cynic. It's what I am. I just see the world for what it is. And it just happens to be ugly, corrupt and polluted with no improvement in site."

"I suggest that by Moshe's name you put 'patch-eye'. Then when you see his picture, you can say 'oh, there's old patch-eye'. It'll help you remember it."

"I need not suffer in silence when I can still moan, whimper and complain."

"Did anyone leave a yoghurt on the floor yesterday? Your poor mothers having their hard-earned dollars left on the floor. In the form of yoghurts."

"It's about these 2 couples and they're in love, and then some guy comes along and puts a flower in one of their eyes and then they all fall in love with each other and then they all fight over each over and then they all go back to normal and there's also a donkey and a fairy queen." - Rach on A Midsummer Night's Dream

OC: "The male mind understands the difference between love and sex. Sketchy, come here."
Sketchy: "Hello ladies."
OC: "I wanna get busy with you."
Sketchy: "Outstanding."
OC: "But I want to forget about it as soon as it's over."
Sketchy: "Yeah, no problem."
OC: "Don't be following me around all moo-eyed and 'baby, I love you'."
Sketchy: "Yeah, whatever you say."
OC: "See? No complications."
Sketchy: "So when we gonna do this?"
OC: "Get away from me, fool 'fore I put you in a world of hurt."
Sketchy: "I knew it!"

"There's only one explanation for this..."
"What?!.. The dead have risen... And they're voting republican?!"

Lois: "Awww, look at Stewie, isn't he adorable playing with his Sesame Street phone?"
Stewie: "Put me through to the Pentagon!"
Ernie: "Do you know what sound a cow makes?"
Stewie: "Don't toy with me Ernie, I've already dispatched with Mr Hooper, I've got six armed men stationed outside Big Bird's nest and as for Linda?..Well it's rather difficult for a DEAF woman to hear an ASSASSIN approach.."