There goes my daughter to a place unknown,
The mature plant of a seed I had sown.
By these two hands how I reared,
With the passing days as she was endeared!
Her smile was a thing cherished; her cry did so pain,
Sulking once, how she would come to my arms again!
Must she be married; must she leave me alone?
‘Tis the plight of a father who cannot even moan.
Cruel is the world, which takes my daughter away,
I despair, how shall I spend my night and day?
There goes my daughter, who is no more mine,
And no more the sun or moon will shine,
There goes my daughter for a custom terse
With someone who was never her’s.
-3\12\98,Calcutta-63

COMMENTS :

This poem is so much relevant for a father in the Orient, like in India. The philosophy goes that a daughter is paraya dhan (other’s possession) who must be given over to her husband- in fact there is even ceremony involved- kanya daan literally means giving the daughter over to the husband, who now becomes the legal and social owner of his wife. This feeling of loss of possession eats into the heart of the father- in worse cases this provides a cause for reluctance into doing anything good for the daughter. The high cost of marriage of a girl becomes a headache ever since her birth. Thus instead of being a bundle of joy the girl becomes a burden of grief. But notwithstanding this unfortunate attitude which has been created by social and cultural conditions, there exists a deep emotional and psychological bond between the father and the daughter-and forget Freud for some moments. This bond is symbolically broken at this social ceremony which hands over the father’s daughter to a man who was unknown until this day. Perhaps for most fathers this is their most happy as well as their most sad day.