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BUM Rush
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Do you want to bust some BUM Rush? Now you got the chance.




Love Letters
yo dawg i was just checkin your site and that $hits fukt up. you bunch of fairies. what's bum rush some kind of fruity fairy lingo? your poetry sucks, dumbest $hit I ever seen. you're the head of a fairy foundation. you suck
  -n-shro


Send all hate mail and death threats here.


Middle 5% Baby!

The Quick Shot
"So there I am in Nam, Charlie all around, and only one clip left. So what did I do? I shot my useless commander in his fat face, searched his body for ammo, and went Rambo on those commie motherfuckers. A week later I'm sent home as a hero and am drinking brews on the front porch."
  -Stephen Hawking

BUM Rush
Streetfighter
  by Nateus
The Question
  by Chester
Coyote Morning and
Down with Britain
  by Nateus
Connery
  by Biggs
Superman
  by McCraine
If Fonzie Weren't on Happy Days
  by C. Creek

It's Poetry Baby!

You can't stop the BUM Rush! It's like trying to stop Charlie Sheen from taking drugs, some things in the universe are. Enjoy the new BUM Rush - What was started by The Pimp Daddy and Biggs is now flat out party style thanks to Nateus Maximus, flogging boy Chester, badass "Cocksman" Creek, and the eternally tormented McCraine. Hopefully, you will enjoy the update, or the Pimp and Biggs are likely to go crazy on your ass. Don't believe us, then check out an interview with the men that we did last year. Whenever we think back to that day, we weep with shame.

Current News

9.25.03: I can't believe it's not poetry!. The Maximus hath returned after a year-long slumber with a new poem.

7.01.02: There are many phrases that describe Nateus Maximus - animal experimenter, crazed pyromaniac, glistening sweat factory. However, more then all else, he is a well-oiled poetic machine. His new poem is entitled Streetfighter.

[the archives]

Old News

7.01.02: Check Chester's latest verse, and see his seering soul exposed - The Question - We promise, it's not cheery.

Important: Hey, we want to hear from you. Email us here

The Big Star
Casper Van Dien, using sorcery to make you think he can act.
Casper Van Dien, using Sorcery to make you think he can act.

Casper Van Dien

Why he's cool:
Because once, a long time ago, he didn't suck as much as he does now.

Why he sucks:
This (man?) reached the zenith of his career when he starred in Starship Troopers, and was supported by a cast of, not huge, but enduring names like Michael Ironside, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards and Doogie Howser, M.D. (telepathic guy with the ferret). When he's off making shit movies, like A Friday Night Date (if you're like 99% of anybody then you've never heard of this one, count your blessings) he curls up and cries while reminiscing about a time when he got to lay naked with Dina Meyer in a sleeping bag on an alien planet. Van Suckass, if you're reading this, you'll probably never see boobies again, kiddo.

How Biggs and the Pimp met him:
The Bum Rush crew took the Pimp's niece to Chucky Cheese over the weekend and caught Van Dien pumping quarters into a toy rocketship.

[past stars]



A Brief History: Bum Rush Poetry was created in early 1998 and enjoyed a flourishment in the few months after its creation - The Bum Rush web site was created out of demand from the peeps in spring 1998 and was not really updated thereafter - But then the Pimp Daddy and Biggs came back with a vengeance (like Willis) and totally blew the doors off the first site in June 2000 - The third major revision of the site, including new BUM Rush, occured in March 2001 - and the fouth revision came circa 2002 - NOTE, you fools, The Pimp and Biggs don't pay us any money, so if this site isn't extremely cross-compatible, just shut it and view the site with Internet Explorer - If you were one of the few (lucky bastards) to have seen the first site, you were witness to the total obsession with the Jackson 5 - Then, it was William Shatner, Long live Teck-war! Mr. T was the object of affection back in the day, and I pitty the fool that thinks otherwise - He's totally H. But now, we want Sean Connery to make us his bitch.

BUM Rush poetry, Copyright © 1998, 2002. Visit the True Players or email the Site Creators
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