Ali's magical mind could find a way to turn gunk into gold, doctors say

What's inside that Little Bird brain?  How does she find solutions to complicated problems so quickly?  Has she mastered the Sunday Football Picks?  These are just a few of the questions a team of expert psychologists hopes to answer after Ali stormed to an impressive victory in the third week of the 2004 season.

While others were busy treasure hunting, Ali shifted her mind into high gear to figure out how to break an early season slump.  She delivered with the year's best performance -- a 10-3 record that clobbered her competitors and boosted her into a second-place tie in the overall standings.  All this success somehow occurred during a weekend of crazy upsets in the NFL.

One of Ali's specialties was being the only person predicting the Jaguars would upset the Titans.  The Jaguars had never won in Tennessee, and the mighty Titans were coming into the game angry after losing the previous week.  The Titans, led by co-MVP Steve McNair, were a lock to win that game, but a lock that apparently was picked by the Little Bird, who let Jacksonville in to steal the 15-12 victory.

"Ali getting the outcome of that game correct spurred us to perform a brain scan to determine how her mind is capable of solving the impossible," said one of the doctors.  "No one should have known the Jaguars could win in Nashville.  It just doesn't happen like that."

Preliminary results of Ali's exam include a variety of incredible findings.  The X-ray shows thousands of musical notes loosely floating inside her head.  It also shows enough internal wiring to launch the Space Shuttle, and a memory capacity 22 times the size found in a typical brain.

"There's a heck of a lot going on inside that head," another doctor said.  "And it's all strangely connected to a thick vertical vein -- some kind of advanced fuel source -- that seems to be filled with peanut butter cups, chocolate syrup, brownies and chocolate chip cookies.  We've never seen anything like it."

The psychologists believe that Ali's brain, if properly maintained, is capable of achieving anything it sets out to do, including winning the 2004 Picks championship.  The Little Bird would become the youngest person to ever accomplish the feat if she captures the title either this year or next year.