THE END TIMES

VOLUME IV || ISSUE 3 || MARCH 14, 2007

The Most Wonderful Time of the Semester Has Arrived!

2008 Presidential Candidates Unveiled!

Word on the Quad

Forum Disputes Lead to New Gladiator Event

New Products at JBU Bookstore Cause Risqu� Scandal!

Cold War Chills Campus

Climate Control Added to Bubble

To the Little Man

END TIMES HOME

Word on the Quad

JBU�s Students of Today were polled about the leaders of tomorrow. Here�s what they have to say:

Molly Mayfield writes,
�I don�t really think very much about politics. But since the newspaper is asking me for my opinion, I�m gonna have to say that Barack Obama�s smile is pretty cute.�

Joshua Jeri says,
�Politics are interesting.�

Yuth Minn-Mager says,
�I should probably care more about politics, but I don�t. I blame the Bubble.�

Terry Benedict says,
�I was school president once. Then I came to college, and nobody cared anymore.�

Sinthia Hellsgate writes,
�I think that we did it for oil.� (Editor�s Note: We�re still unsure what that statement means)

Blake Pascal says,
�Senator Obama�s Smile, though charismatic, clearly lacks the experience and the proven fortitude necessary to serve the American people as our next president. Besides, he�s soft on rain clouds, and I just can�t abide that.�

Sara Armington says,
�Whaaa...???�

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