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THE END TIMES VOLUME IV || ISSUE 3 || MARCH 14, 2007 |
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The Most Wonderful Time of the Semester Has Arrived! 2008 Presidential Candidates Unveiled! Forum Disputes Lead to New Gladiator Event New Products at JBU Bookstore Cause Risqu� Scandal! |
Forum Disputes Lead to New Gladiator EventYou go to check the recent forum posts only to find that someone has yet again decided to post the same topic in three separate areas because they think that will get people to read what they have to say. You continue to look for a forum post that isn�t two people carrying on random conversations that have nothing to do with the topic at hand or one that is a series of constant sarcastic attacks on the person above the post. Finally you settle upon the politics forum where yet another thread on illegal immigration is being discussed. By now you feel well versed in the topic to post something semi-intelligent. You post with great glee thinking that this will revolutionize how people view illegal immigration. Now the waiting game starts: you go to class, check your e-mail and then come back to see that there are several new responses to your post. Anticipating a well thought out response, you open a window to wikipedia to formulate a good response. Instead you are faced with a barrage of people calling you a racist among other names as well as other personal attacks, not to mention the obligatory sarcastic or just plain stupid responses by the normal forum trolls. Well, we here at the End Times believe that the time has come to put an end to all these ad hominem attacks and pointless banter. That is why we are embarking on our most ambitious endeavor ever and we need your help. Our solution is fairly simple but it requires action from our dear and loyal readers. Our plan is to petition SGA to convert the Rugby pitch into a gladiator arena. Instead of the moderator deleting a post or tensions continue to run high both inside and outside of the forums people can take their anger out once and for all at the arena. Imagine the possibilities. If someone starts another rant about illegal immigration on the politics forum and you are tired of his ignorant ridiculous posts just challenge him to a fight in the arena. If someone makes a personal attack or interrupts your forum by making chit chat with others, challenge them to the arena. The benefits to having the arena are numerous. To start off people will have to make a conscious effort to actually start making intelligent posts and responses on the forums increasing intellectual stimulation. Also we the students gain an extra benefit of entertainment. Who needs to go to Fayetteville to see a movie when you can watch a gladiator match here at JBU? If need be there could be a small cover charge attached of which the money would go teacher�s salaries so we wouldn�t lose teachers to better offers at other universities. Not to mention imagine the fear we would strike into our opponents knowing that we could beat the crap out of them. People are complaining about a lack of school spirit but I�m sure the school could rally around even if we lose we�ll cream you in the arena afterward. Now it�s time for you to do your part. Fill out your name in the space below and encourage your friends to do the same. Make copies and spread them out throughout school, have awesome petition signing parties and urge your SGA senators to support this cause. Remember that every signature counts and together we can make this dream a reality. |
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All offense is intended and unintentional. No matter where you go, there you are. Listen to your mother and eat
your vegetables. Do not smoke if you are pregnant. | |