THE END TIMES

VOLUME IV || ISSUE 3 || MARCH 14, 2007

The Most Wonderful Time of the Semester Has Arrived!

2008 Presidential Candidates Unveiled!

Word on the Quad

Forum Disputes Lead to New Gladiator Event

New Products at JBU Bookstore Cause Risqu� Scandal!

Cold War Chills Campus

Climate Control Added to Bubble

To the Little Man

END TIMES HOME

Climate Control Added to Bubble

Leo Phineas, Head of the JBU Bubble Committee for JBU, has announced that they will be incorporating climate control to the already existing bubble of JBU. Sasha Saskwatch, a psychology student, was very pleased. �We will be the first college to be able to manipulate the variable of the weather in future experiments,� she said. The athletic teams� results were mixed. Jarrell Hopkins of the rugby team was �sad to see the bonding of men in muddy turf � go, while Sam Tratchell, of the soccer team was �overjoyed to get rid of those canceled matches due to lightning.� Phineas has said that the climate control will eventually be partitioned into sections, so that students can go to a certain location on campus to experience a certain meteorological condition. As of a few weeks ago, the Admissions building is supposed to receive tornado- like weather while Walker will receive moderate snowfalls for the fall semester and strong sandstorms for the spring semester.

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