The next angel in my life was the Domestic Violence Coordinator at the Police Department. I had kept our family's horrible secret terror hidden for so long that I was really afraid to let the rest of the world know what was going on. I was ashamed that I'd lied and felt very exposed to criticism. The shooting, ambulance and police in the middle of the night took the decision of "news getting around" out of my hands. The whole neighborhood knew something horrible had happened and, of course, word spread like wildfire. The funny things was, the wrong word spread.
Unknown to me, my ex-husband was on the phone after surgery contacting all our local friends telling them I'd committed adultery and he'd snapped. This kind of gossip, of course, spreads like wildfire and had the exact effect he'd desired. My children's friends could no longer come to our house. My kids had to put up with gossip in the hallways at high school and elementary school about their "crazy" dad and their "cheating" mom. I don't know if he realizes the damage he did by spreading such malicious lies, but it hurt us all very deeply. There are many who still believe it. Somehow people seem to think it's okay to shoot up a house and try to kill a spouse if they commit adultery, but the really whacked out thing was... it wasn't true. People were so eager to believe it that they backed away almost immediately.
The Domestic Violence Coordinator (who had helped me process two previous restraining orders because of domestic violence) was an amazing resource. She assured me that getting yet another protective order was the right thing to do. I started to cry in line at the courthouse, because I was ashamed that I'd let things get so dangerous and had not asked for help sooner. She assured me that most women have an average of 6-12 protective orders before they actually leave. I had no idea such was the case. I felt better, but did not feel any less shamed. She delivered the protective order personally.
She assisted me in getting counseling, financial aid to help us move, helped me have the courage to open up communication with my own family that I'd been isolated from for 20 years, etc. She continues to be a great resource, with an immense patience level... I might add!
