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A Collection of Journal Articles
By Mindy Mortensen
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My Nightmare
Written July 18, 1998 after being in "safe house" shelters for three weeks (the third of four) and running from 20 years of sexual, emotional, social and physical abuse and finally attempted murder. I was sent with my children from the first shelter, which was full, to three more before gaining hope, moving out to live in a campground for over a month, then to one more shelter before obtaining a residence of our own. In the end, from the time of attempted murder to having our own residence, it was a six month journey of homelessness, struggle, change and growth. I now realize that what I thought was an end, was actually the beginning of a journey for which I am now forever grateful to have decided to make.
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The Dawn - (in progress)
This is the "I guess I CAN do it" portion of the story. I don't think anyone was more surprised than I was that I didn't turn tail and run from facing the daunting task of being both Mom and Dad by myself. It is interesting to me now, to read back and be able to identify the distorted thinking, coping mechanisms and avoidance techniques I developed to survive. We all do it; maybe you'll identify with some of my "escapes" in order to make it through another day.
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My Story - (in progress)
This is a tougher task than I thought it would be. Thank heaven for journals and notes kept along the way. This is not yet complete, but there are several pages done.... enough to give you an idea of what lead to my realization and acceptance that I was in a "lethal" relationship, and the struggle to leave it. I'll get it done eventually... but you know how it is working full-time, being a single mom, car pools, taxi cab driver, maid, etc! Actually, that's just an excuse. Sometimes it's simply too hard to put take these memories, thoughts and feelings and apply pen to paper, so I write a bit at a time, then hide from it. This is my therapy.
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Angels - (in progress)
I'd love to be able to say I'm a headstrong, defiant, willful person who escaped domestic violence all by myself, but that would be a lie. In many ways I am those things, but when it comes to escaping a violent environment you need the help of angels, both earth bound and heavenly. I had help from both kinds and will forever be grateful to them for reaching out of their comfort zones to my children and me and for being patient and not giving up on me with the many times I went back and put us back in the cross hairs.
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