| ".." |
| Until You Most people see me as cold, a frosty veneer that keeps so many at bay - at arm's length chilling to the marrow so many who try to get close to me. I don't want to be this way. Sometimes, even being aware of this I was unable to do anything about it until you...... found your way into some deep buried part of me where love lay hidden, teaching me the steps in the dance of loving and living that noone has ever seen I desperately longed to learn. I am the poster child for invisibility and loneliness. ...always doing what everyone expected of me, pinned live, a living dying sacrifice to the board of duty and life.... a child locked outside with her nose pressed to the glass watching everyone else live and love and forever locked outside. I know the secret that is in me, and I am conquering daily my fears and I let you see the deep sourceless river of love and longing deep inside where noone else has ever dared to venture.. never close enough, or never dared stay long enough to see, and help me free myself. I hold my breath waiting to see, hoping you are the one with the love, the strength , the courage to stay. My love, in being hidden and undiscovered, has left me strange and oblique. How can anyone love me when I have never let anyone see me before..not all of me. Thinking too much I know I do... and that I should let love be and find it's own way .. in its own time. I know what matters in truth, in the end, is love, and so I love any and every way I can, even when it makes those around me uncomfortable. I know I cannot find a dozen words I can string together to adequately describe love... I know we don't need words to live or teach love. Love is action, and in doing, and being; there are no procedures to follow and love lives and evolves, and I BURN..... BURN I sit here and burn within with this fire that has started, that we have started between us. This strange feeling that we can set the whole world on fire with our bodies and make the whole world perfect..making sense of all the craziness desperation and loneliness... |
| tracking and defining ME |
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