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| Infinite, Eternity, Forever I thought I would be more afraid than I am. Sometimes fear doubles me up, but most I merely accept. Memories sometimes flood in and I have no control of memories, MY poor brain sometimes seems in such a hurry to think every thought it can. My mind feels like a museum or a Gallery that accepts every work of art it is offered and has not enough storage space nor the luxury of time to catalogue it all. You seem to know what I am thinking... Sometimes I believe I am not the kind of bird that can fly with the crows and the starlings...others attack me in flocks and try to tear me apart when I start to sing. I was born to sing, of great beauty and great pain... these words, these pages are my verbal song....Am I too soft to survive? Nature loathes meekness, and you know I'm soft as melting butter under a summer sun inside. I got terribly hurt early and deep and I am learning to fight the impact of that in me every day. No more will I merely let that first betrayal colour my life, my walk, my being. Falling is something I sometimes feel I do best..... I am so full of intense feeling I am unbalanced and fall under the weight of it. Love floods me, overwhelms me and makes me impossible to be around. I need love returned in equal portions to what I give. I scare everyone with the intensity of my feeling. I live in fear of scaring you too. All my life I have waited for the right angel. Love can't be taught.... Can't be divided into parts, numbered and named to make living it and mastering it easier. Everyone talks about love all the time. It is like the weather. How does one learn to love? |
| tracking and defining ME |
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