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hi. i'm lord chancellor and keeper of the sacred emu, aparnaa. i was most graciously chosen to write the arkansas theory. this is NOT meant seriously so denise better not get flamed. adam and eve were created on the new earth, right? so they had cain and abel. abel was killed by cain, and cain was banished. then adam and eve had seth (as opposed to carlos) and many more children. NOW. if there was only adam, eve, seth, carlos, etc., how was the rest of earth created? simply, adam OR eve must have "reproduced" with one of their children OR a sister and a brother must have "reproduced." therefore, the world began in arkansas, the inbred capital of the world.
::looks upward:: I can't believe that's on here
"Everything sux but nothing sux, because everything is something and something's not nothing, so everythng sux and nothing sux." - um... anonymous
This theory is short. Basically, it states that there is nothing that does not suck, in some way, to some person, or animal, or living thing, in some place, upon this world.
Ah, yes. A fond memory indeed...
Hello, it's Lord Chancellor again. Here's my Nostradamus theory that Britney Spears is the Anti-Christ. From what I've read of Nostradamus's theory, the Anti-Christ was set to appear in July of 1999. The Anti-Christ would have dark hair and try to hide it, be from Persia, as well as take over Europe. Now, Britney Spears is a bleach blonde, ergo she has dark hair and tries to hide it. A stretch here- Persia was the center of civilization, as the South is the center of pop music civilization, hence Britney is from Persia of Pop Music. Britney's "Making the Video" aired primarily in July of 1999. Her music has swept over Europe (unfortunately). A side note- Prince Charles is supposed to be the last king of England. If the rumors are true, and they seem to be, Britney and Prince William (sigh) are dating. If the two want to, in Britney's parlance, "get hitched", then the Queen will not approve, what with the scandal with Camilla Parker-Bowles and all, no more scandals, heaven forbid. Prince William would have to abdicate (give up) the throne. Prince Harry has none of the charisma or the training of Prince William. He would not be fit to rule England. England, anyway, is making the move to a more democratic society, and would be more than willing to get rid of royalty (nothing but trouble). Therefore, the Anti-Christ would have a part in removing the British Monarchy. And that's my theory. Thank you.
Life...It's often
cruel,
unfair,
lonely,
unkind,
stupid,
dull,
big,
scary,
stressful,
annoying,
painful,
horrible,
tedious,
evil,
illogical,
absurd,
nauseating,
inadequate,
hostile,
agonizing,
unreasonable,
bothersome,
depressing,
complex,
adverse,
irreversible,
confusing,
unstable,
grim,
bizarre,
chaotic,
and sometimes it's just bad.
But, whether you like it of not, it continues to go on, and the more time you sit there bitching about it, the more of it that passes you by. (And, by the way, once it's gone, it sux even more.) As a matter of fact, as you sit here reading this, it's slowly wasting away...Now, don't you feel ashamed of yourself...Ok, now go out and create some happiness, dammit.
LESS IS MORE
the proof: less is more because three equals four
This theory will prove without a doubt that the world is indeed pointless. The world is round. Well, spherical if you wanna get technical about it. Either way, the world has no corners and therefore no points. Hence the world is pointless. If the world was any other shape, say a cube or an octagon, things would be different. But they're not. And so the world is pointless.
This theory is a world-wide conspiracy from high up in the board of education to keep teenagers from having a social life. Their evil plan is to start school so early (bus rides start at six) and end so late (people get home anywhere from three to four) that all they can when they get home is sleep. We are too tired to go out, and when we do, we have hours of homework (between midterms and teachers feeling that we don't have enough already). Their evil plan succeeds as our lives become a repetition of school, sleeping, and sometimes eating, when the lunch line is not too long. Fellow AAHS'ers know what I'm talking about.
Originally intended for use against our junior year Community Health (B.S.101) teacher, Project Suicide is the general idea which came about upon the realization that, even though she really deserved it, killing would be a bad, bad thing. So, instead we must torture her by every possible, conceivable method, until we push her just past the brink of insanity, and she kills herself, thereby saving us the trouble of possibly getting caught and having to deal with the feds.
Our high school name is incredibly long so whenever asked to write or say it, we abbreviate it as AAHS. Now, several people on widely varied occasions have been asked if thst stands for Alcoholics Anonymous High School. I find that amusing because in many cases, that's so true it's scary. Now all we need is Mrs. Argento's drinking song as our alma mater and we're all set!