Winter Break 2001-2002 Quotes:

Aparnaa: He wouldn't have sex with her if someone paid him.
Mary Kate: He wouldn't have sex with her if they were the last two people on earth.
Erica and Denise: And there were no sheep.
Mary Kate: (giggles hysterically around iced tea)
Everyone in unison: Are there sheep?

Mary Kate: Ack, Erica sounds like a country song.
Denise: No, her dog isn't dead.

"I could kill you or have sex with you. Which would be better in an antigravity environment." (Chris)

"I am Bob Saget! Everyone must die!" (Denise)

"Terance is on top."
"I think Terance should be in the middle."
"Aaah, Terance sandwich."

"If I were going to kill you, it would definitely be with your pants." (Erica)

"What is Terance making?" (Rebecca)
"Small explosive devices in the form of chicken." (Brian)

"Look! I have glow in the dark bondage pants!" (Brian)

"I leid everybody at my party, I'm on vacation now." (Erica)

"TOWEL ON FIRE, dumbass." (Erica)

"Ooooh! Something to put in the microwave other than Terance's clothes!" (Aparnaa, re: microwave popcorn)

Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull and you pull, but you can't get the rock out of the ground. So you give it a kick, but you lose your balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then out comes a big Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife beside the pool because they thought it was real pretty. He tells you to get out of there, but you start faking it, like you're talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and chases you..." - Jack Handley

Denise

"Human beings are like a giant-ass herd of dumb-ass people."
"No one can argue the power of is."
"The pineapple is doing fine. Leave it alone. The media - BAD, pineapple - GOOD."
"Everything sucks, but nothing sucks because nothing's not something and something is everything so everything sucks but nothing sucks."
"Je suis rien."
"They is us."
"Breathing is enough technology for me right now."
I don't have to want, I just is."
"No is not a good yes."
"You tessellate a llama and I'll pay you a dollar." (that still stands, by the way)
"I have all the boy bands."
"Kill a German, get a cookie!" (in response to Aparnaa's question about how exactly Girl Scouts could help out with World War I)
"Vertical goes up but eventually ends up down."
"Forno is everthing."
"So you'd like Ben Affleck with your salad? With or without dressing?"
"These would be your boxers?"
"I have to give Chris his pants back now."
"Close, but almost."
"Alas, my machete's still in my other pants..."
"Hard sticks!"
�Pooh�s touch and feel�. Oooooooohhhhh�
"Yeah, I can't handle 2 mils of vodka." (sarcasm in biology)
"So, do you have sex in your locker, too?" (to Becca)
"Nothing says Allied Health like violating a chicken."
"At least you're wearing pants this time."
�I am the Goddess of Stupid.� (thank you Rutgers trip)
"Immortalized forever!"
"There was one more recently than now."
�Use submission!�
�If I had the option to make my kids glow, I�d take it.�
�Dude, I�m the title!�
�One is not a stuff!�
"Who goes trick-or-treating in February?" (re: death threat)
"I like the soft, fruity ones" (re: mentos)
"Well he IS only half a man." (re: the Opposite of Sex)
"I thunk the world in seven days!" (re: um, existence)

Erica

"If everything is up, then you can�t fall down."
"Stupidity runs through the table" - Erica
"I hunt TV's."
"Everything is an evolved form of sludge slime."
"People are ultimately stupid and should be sufficiently killed."
"Jarod is GOD."
"Slime Anubis!"

Rebecca

"I can do everyone."
"I can suck at anything."
"Yes, I have a soft spot for jigglypuff... oh god!"
"Crap is sweet dammit."
"I don't like them when they hate me because they're bitchy about it."
"We are babbling idiots!"
�Yes. Bad [lesbians]. As in not [lesbians].�
"Screw the newbies. Yes, thats my philosophy exactly. I know it sounds bitchy, but hey..."
"The book is closed. No more thoughts."
"I'm too lazy to be insane."
"They just don't like it when I'm sleeping with each other."
"I'm dumb as a clod of dirt!"
"I kill bird shit dead"
"That's all the nothing there is."
"WEMU - it makes a funny noise... teehee... We moo, emu, everybody WEMU."
�I am the garbage can assassin from Canada!�
"I think in terms of naked men standing on ponds."

Aparnaa

"The world would be a better place if we all had chocolate"
"Where's my luggage lock?"
"Yes, I like my salad with Ben Affleck."
�I think my butt�s all pruney.�
�Spark plugs, she was a tramp to begin with, and a leash.�
�Ben Affleck is... Ben Affleck�
"Ben Affleck is a condom vender!"
��I�m going to go have sex with an animal now.��
�'Take me, J.C.!' " J.C. shoved Lance forcefully and the two men, laughing, wandered out of the store.�
�Ew mankind lives on their hormones.�
�Do you want some coffee with that banana?�
"Honey is like an orgasm, omly less violent."

Anita

"A cow is like... a cow."
"The world is round because the world is flat"
"There must be some brains behind their stupidity!"
"Sit down and pleasure me with your presence."
"No man will remain untouched by Anita."

Brian

"Stop stabbing my meat!"
"You slimed Anubis!"
"To Pocky with you!"
"Just because I'm dead doesn't mean you can touch my lizard!"
"Anubis says 'Bite me'"
"Proteolysis makes me uncomfortable."
�Smart water, where are you, I'm too stupid to find you...� (singsong-ish)
�Green solar powered prostituting rat monkey!�
�Bite the flying condom from hell!�
�You�ll get killed. I�ll just get killed and raped. Wait a minute...� (about driving the back way to his house)

Mary-Kate

"I want to be the female Rob Thomas! That is my life's goal! (hands in the air)"
"Is that a machete in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"Don't bite me! I'm already a lesbian."
"The four of them are a trio."
"Exhibit 2: Exhibit A is enought dammit!"
unpotent!

Chris - Mister Minit, Vegetarian Viking and God of the Autogrill

"I sleep with John Barry."
"F*ck! Metal is a good conductor of electricity!" (while attempting to drink coffee with a spoon)
"So he's a pimp by day and prostitute by night. Meaning, he can pimp himself to himself."
"Oh right, I have nipples."
"Take your hands off my orgasm!"

Terry - King of the Tourists & Crappy Tourist Extraordinaire, Reanu Keeves and Dead Sexy Pimp by Day

"I am a dead sexy pimp by day and a male prostitute by night."
"io sono un morto provocanti mezzano par giorno, un uomo che se prostituisce par notte." (the above, in Italian)
"May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful."
"Consciousness is just an annoying state between sleep."
"I've been to hell and it's folding pizza boxes."
ZAP
"Willn't"
"Down with the wicked!"

Sergio - Italian Tour Guide Extraordinaire

"On the leftern side you can see where the vegebles are sold."
"He will have to resignate after that."

To Ponder:

How many frogs can you fit in a blender?
How many monkeys can you shave in an hour?
If half a duck can lay half an egg in half a day, how long does it take for a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a pickle?
I have a screwdriver, a flashlight, and a ham sandwich. What am I?
If light reaches a speed of 4x10^8 and most of its frequency is equal to ultraviolet light and a cow starts getting sunburn but can't find its sun tan lotion then what is the rate of why you are pissed?

Random Mishmash

"We're AAHS. We can waste more money than God." - Matt
"Rainbow Brite and emus rule!" - Cassie
"In the world of chocolate we are umbrellas" - Michele
"The fat man walks alone" - Michele
"The scarecrow walks at midnight with the jade monkeys in the pool of Jell-O." - Michele
"I like Taylor Hanson... He has nice hair... He's pretty... (pause) He's prettier than me." - Anu
"Two of me men saw them with their own four eyes" - Chief O'Hara, the old live action Batman!
"Ah, Virginia. It's a lovely state." - John
"All monsters should be green." � Mom, after seeing a strange scifi movie
"Apart, we are worth little. Together, men will pay anything....we're expensive people!" ~ Erica and Rebecca
�All things must be somewhat mango-esque� - Cassie
"We are bad lesbians!" � Denise, Aparnaa and Anita, before making chocolate cupcakes.
"It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh look' cried Ned, and the kingdom was his forever. The end." �Chandler
"Due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been cancelled." - The computer in the Dell lab
"Every holiday is alcohol related." � The anti-drug/alcohol speaker.
"We are six year old crackheads." � Our Allied Health teacher.
"7% of 10 is 70."
"I love walls." � Bill, from the french play.
"I hate yams and big bugs."
"Fungol tua monde." (f*ck your life)
�I am a working woman!� Our (male) biology teacher
�Ah, juicyfruit.� (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo�s Nest)
�The next girl I take on is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!� (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo�s Nest)