hair

Click for girls hair or boys hair illustrations-Photos soon I promise!

GIRLS: Townie hair for girls is unmistakable. The amount of wet-look gel in it is enough for you to judge that the person in front of you is a Townie. It's usually permed beyond sanity-we like to call it Poodle Perm. You know what we mean-tightly curled and gelled enouth so that you can either see each individual hair or the hair is so gelled together you can't tell if its hair or plastic.
   Its usually tied up in one of those irritating high ponytails, positioned high on top of the head so that it hangs over the ears (if it doesn't stick right up because of the gel). Or its got about five million little butterfly clips stuck in this bun which isn't a bun its just a lump of gel, along with five scrunchies (which went out of fashion with Poodle Perms)
   If it's down, then she'll have it either scraped back full of gel, or lank and greasy because Townies lack higher personal hygiene.
   If it's coloured, then there is only one colour-bleach blonde. They lack the amount of knowlege to actually buy hair colour-'hydrogen peroxide straight from the bottle will do it', they think. And even then, when they colour it, they don't look after it.

   The result: straw.

BOYS:   n.b: Many Townie boys don't actually sport Townie hairstyles- but if you can't spot the 'do', you'll spot the clothes.
Townie boys also bleach their hair-but irritatingly, they only bleach the top. They think its cool to have brown hair down the sides and back-we know differently.
   If they don't bleach their hair, they will have one of three other styles:ski-jump,mushroom, or shaven.
   The ski-jump style seems to be most favoured by Townie boys. Ever since David Schwimmer sported the tiniest of flicks on F.R.I.E.N.D.S, they have blown the little flick completely out of proportion-some ski-jumps I have observed are well over 1 1/2 inches long. (Although the little flick is only a little Townie-it can be replicated without being too Townie, but overall, stay safe and stay away.)
   The mushroom style is a mistake many Townie boys make. A centre parting with long hair on top and short at the back and sides just makes their heads look hilarious, especially if they have thick hair. They think they can combat this with gel-sorry, it doesn't work. They end up with gel dandruff and crusty heads, which could come in handy for them if they like to sell a bit of coke to the 10 yr old estate kids, off their shoulders.
   The shaven style is when whey've taken a dog clipper to their head and gone mad. About 2mm short all over leaves their heads lumpy and you can see their scalp. Usually accompanied by acne.
Overall: not attractive.