accessories

   Townies have now formed their own unique accessorising style: poo styling. It consists of a lot of fake gold, nickel-ridden and plastic jewelery, and I'll explain as we go through all the possible accessories. *If you read this, hopefully you will be safe from any Townie trends in poo styling coming your way*

   Earrings: Sometimes, the most obvious way to spot a Townie is by their earrings. If they're that ikky fake-gold creole-hoop style, then you can definately judge the person a Townie-even if they haven't got Townie hair or even Townie clothes-they only sell this style in Argos (see Townie shops) or the Townie Market.
The Townie girls will wear at least five of these earrings in each ear (including one up the top in the cartilage-although, this is not a Townie piercing), but if they aren't wearing creoles, they may be wearing huuuuuuge fake gold hoops that get caught in their Poodle Perms (see Townie hair). *GOLD JEWELERY AS A WHOLE IS CONSIDERED TOWNIE UNLESS THERE ARE SOME REAL JEWELS EMBEDDED INTO THE GOLD OF A REASONABLE SIZE*
Townie boys are also bound to be wearing just ONE earring in their ear. It will be fake gold maybe with a little plastic diamond in, or a fake gold hoop which they think looks really cool. They'll have it done before the time they're 7 as well, because the Townie mothers think that the child needs to be fashionable before he hits puberty-which we know, is nonsense.

   Necklaces: The most revolting kind of necklace that a Townie would wear would be the Sovereign pendant. This consists of a large and frankly garish fake gold St. Christopher which they take massive pride in wearing with their crap Fila sweatshirts-over the top, with just the pendant poking out. Both Townie girls and Townie boys wear these-the unisex ability of Townie accessories shining through like Townie clothes do Super cool? We think not.
    Other examples of Townie necklaces could be those ikky plastic 'tattoo' choker things which look like a mess of razor wire that come with matching bracelets and rings.

    Bracelets: There aren't many Townie bracelets because Townies tend to wear other things on their wrists-namely scrunchies. These oversize hair accessories look yukky on hair let alone on wrists-and Townie girls will wear them with their polo shirts and sweatshirts, and especially with their bootlegs (see Townie clothes).

    Rings: Sovereigns seem to be the most popular on Townie rings as well as Townie necklaces. These huge chunky rings made of fake gold can be found in any Argos catalogue as well as the Townie Market (see Townie jobs) and distort the Townies already sausage-like fingers into squidgy cold (because of cut-off circulation) wriggly things.