ASK MLLASH... - LMB Archives

LMBP Outpost

LMB Archives

ASK MLLASH... (Page 1)

profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 11 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Author	Topic: ASK MLLASH...
Cobalt Kid Member	posted April 14, 2000 04:20 PM Space Tart is no more, so Lash, looks like you've got to continue in her place!!! Dear Lash, When mixing drinks for a date, do you think it's immoral if you make the drinks "extra-strong", to move things forward... Thanks C.K., from L* IP: Logged
Greybird Member	posted April 14, 2000 05:59 PM Dear Lash, My sister manages to keep her wings' feathers pliable with a mixture of citrus oils, but when I try to use her formula on my wings, my skin breaks out. What can your experts recommend for this that doesn't aggravate allergies? I don't want to have to fall back on WD-40. Stiff but cordial ... Greybird IP: Logged
bellbookcandle Member	posted April 14, 2000 07:31 PM Dear Lash Tart, I have two...oh, let's call them brothers...and we don't get on. We have nothing in common. I'm always cheerful and optimistic, and they call me Happy. One of my brothers is always Grumpy and the other one is really Dopey. I'd love to spend less time with them, or at least help them change their ways. What should I do? Yours in triplicate, Bellbookcandle Kid IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 15, 2000 04:08 AM Dear Cobalt, There is nothing morally wrong with making your date's drink "extra-special" (wink-wink). If they accept the offer of a drink in the 1rst place they are obviously LOOKING for a way to explain their uncharacteristic actions when the sunlight beams through the window. My advice is "I'll have a triple Zombie" and just enjoy the results of same! IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 15, 2000 04:13 AM Dear Greybird, as an unfortunate sufferer of dry skin myself, there is a product I must reccomend for skin, wings, tentacles, feelers or what have you: AQUAPHOR (t) Available at your nearby friendly druggists' counter. (And shouldn't ALL druggists be friendly?) IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 15, 2000 04:18 AM Dear bellbookcandle, Many is the time I have wished for an exact physical duplicate of myself to help while away the lonely hours. 2 duplicates would mean twice the fun. Even though your personality might not gel with your "brothers"...please try to understand them and realize how lucky you are! IP: Logged
SharkLad Member	posted April 15, 2000 12:43 PM Dear Lash, Do you like me? ------------------ SharkLad, over and out IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 15, 2000 08:05 PM Shark Boy, I like you just fine as long as you keep your big teeth to yourself! IP: Logged
Cobalt Kid Member	posted April 15, 2000 08:23 PM Dear Lash Lad, If someone where to "double-bag it" when putting on condoms, would that be good or bad? Sincerely, Cobalt Kid IP: Logged
Beagle Boy Member	posted April 16, 2000 09:34 PM Dear Lash Lad, As you know, FoodMaker Kid and I were close. He was my mentor. Well, recently, I found out that "he" is now a "she." In fact, he ... I mean SHE is now part of Donna Troy and Hal Jordan/Spectre/Jar-Jar. I am very confused by this turn of events, and I am not sure what I should do in this situation. What advice can you offer? IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 17, 2000 01:23 AM Cobalt Kid, The fact that someone might need to "double-bag it" is a VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD SIGN. Did I mention that this is a VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD THING? Aaaaaahhh---the enthusiasm of youth....! What a VERY VERY VERY VERY nice thing.....! IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 17, 2000 01:31 AM Beagle Boy, In this situation that involves lost and/or mutated loved ones I reccomend lavishing your affection on a surrogate.... To save you from the delimma of seeking out a surrogate reciepient of your culinary love, might I offer the services of my tummy, also known as "Li'l pudgy Michael" ? IP: Logged
Lucien Member	posted April 17, 2000 07:37 AM Dear Lash Tart Recently a certain someone (lets just say their name begins with a k and ends in bern kid, that shouldn't give too much away) borrowed, nay, stole a few of my Brads. Not I may have an infinite number and I didn't really mind but then he actually put them to work. I mean, physical work1 They're dancing boys, they don't deserve that kind of cruelty. And the he broke them and gave them back. Now my question is: are gold floor tiles last years thing or what? IP: Logged
kbern Member	posted April 17, 2000 10:21 AM Dear Lash Tart, I recently borrowed a few Brads from Lucien (I am not being subtle,like Lucien's hairplugs are, opps! sorry Lucien honey) Anyway, I borrowed these things and they broke. They looked nicely build. They said they carried Lucien around on a barge-like throne,So I of course thought they could move some boxes of 300 lb. Gold marble tile. I guess I was incorrect. My question is ,If a Gold tile floor is featured in Intersteller Vanity Fairy Monthly, Architectural Hologram digest and just looks so damn good ,doesn't that make it a timeless object d' arte.?? Or Is Lucien just being uppity? . I only say this cause I know Lucien is a great sport, and can give as good as he gets. Or so I hear from the Brads. IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 17, 2000 11:20 AM Lucien, everyone knows Brads are for pleasure only. Physical labor should be reserved for the Clints and the Clays. As for the gold floor, I must say that with the proper accoutrements, a pile of poop could be timeless art. IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted April 17, 2000 11:22 AM Kbern, The gold floor is acceptale ONLY if you do NOT hang silver lame' drapes. And next time you need boxes moved, you may borrow a few of my Clints, Clays and Ryans. IP: Logged
Lucien Member	posted April 17, 2000 11:37 AM Ah! Get you! Hair plugs? Say it to the hand girlfriend. And as for the tiles.... Interstellar Vanity Fair Monthly? From when? 2540? I'm thinking so. Just because it's old doesn't mean it's classy. I mean you only have to look at yourself in the mirror to see that. Oh, sorry.... ummmm, question.... Dear Space Lash Do you know how to mend a broken Brad. One that's been brutaly handled, mistreated and generally ruined by.... um, yeah so it's broken, how do I mend it? IP: Logged
kbern Member	posted April 17, 2000 11:57 AM Dear Lash, What do you tell an old, old fellow LMB (Lucien) who for some reason slams your timeless taste in gold marble flooring as being outdated and yet still throws phrases like "say it to the hand girlfriend" around as quickly as he tosses bon-bons down his throat?. Kisses, Lucien dear. IP: Logged
Newcru Member	posted April 17, 2000 01:16 PM Dear...ummm, I'm not sure what to call you. There have been like five or six different names on this thread alone! Dear M, I have always been quite proud of my super-cleaning abilities. I don't think anyone has a complaint about Outpost freshness when I'm on the job. But lately, my powers seem to be growing weaker. I just can't get that nice buff shine on the bathroom fixtures like I used to. And recently...<sob> <sniff>...I had to use Tilex to remove the mildew on the showers! What can I do? Do I just need a vacation? Or do you suppose I've...<gasp>...lost my touch?!?! Please, help me! Hugz and kisses, New IP: Logged
Paul MacNeil Member	posted April 17, 2000 01:35 PM Dear MLLASH, I have recently developed a rather embarressing case of Kryptonian crabs. I've tried everything to get rid of them but the buggers won't die & I'm worried about using kryptonite due to radiation poisoning. Can you reccommend anything that won't make my little fella mutate & walk off? ------------------ never say anything be instrumental IP: Logged
Beagle Boy Member	posted April 17, 2000 07:49 PM Dear Lash, I think I have developed a major crush on Space Tart. What do you think the chances are between the two of us? And will Space Tart ever be back? NOBODY could ever pull off that platinum nighty like Space Tart. (Sorry Lucien, not even you ) IP: Logged
Cobalt Kid Member	posted April 18, 2000 12:52 AM Dear Lash, I'm a saddened young hero, without a love to share in my life. My last girlfriend turned out to be an illusion, and the one before that goes out with Loser Lad. So, know any hotties, and wanna send them my way? Sincerely CK, from Grrgg IP: Logged
Beagle Boy Member	posted April 18, 2000 11:59 AM Whaddaya mean Space Tart was just a figment of your imagination, CK? If that's the case, then you've got one heckuva figment! WOW! And, I guess (heavy sigh), Lash, just forget about the last question I sent. I gotta go get a beer. Or maybe Sex with an Alligator. Gotta go drown my sorrows. First FoodMaker Kid, and now this. IP: Logged
SharkLad Member	posted April 18, 2000 06:17 PM Dear Lash, Every time I think I've got something good going with somebody, they inevitably tick me off and I eat them. Any suggestions? S.L. ------------------ SharkLad, over and out IP: Logged
Space Tart Member	posted April 18, 2000 11:58 PM Dear Lucien, I'm sorry but once a Brad has been broken the only solution is to drag it out to the pasture and shoot it mercifully like a stallion with a broken leg. Some breaks can never be mended. And most Brads are notoriously delicate. IP: Logged

This topic is 11 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 All times are ET (US)	next newest topic \| next oldest topic
Administrative Options: Close Topic \| Archive/Move \| Delete Topic
	Hop to:

Contact Us | LMB Archives

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws