There are times where I make believe everything's gone right. I play with my own mind. I make believe that, one day I'll have a family. Everything that I will take for granted. So many scenario's. I imagine having rough times so that I can appreciate those good times, so I could appreciate them. So I can sit back and say "boy, I always laid in bed, imagining these things. How crazy was I?" then I mutter to myself "you are crazy." *poof* just like that, my imaginary life, vanishes into thin air. I know one day it'll all happen. One day, I'll show my son or daughter, or both, these words. And recall so many times I made corrections. Maybe I'll read this aloud to my pet. I don't know. The future is a possibility among possibilities.

I've been drinking less coffee a day, I'm down to maybe a cup or two a day. I've been feeling depressed. Mostly because of the things that didn't materialized. Lastnight I dreamt that I was on my way to Vancouver, and forgot my wallet at home when they asked for my I.D. I remember saying "I'll catch the later flight, it'll only take me a few hours to go and come back." then I went down the stairs by sliding on the railing. It was crowded, and the carpets were red. These people were just people. I didn't know any of them. Then I found myself watching a movie inside an arena. Much like a hockey arena. I could see the concrete on the ground. I woke up. It's amazed how long the days go by when you have nothing to do. All a depressed person could do is sleep. I can't think of anything right now that would lift this cloud of smoke away from my eyes. My pants fit a little bit tighter today, I guess they should, you don't lose alot of calories when your dreaming of arena's. My vocabulary is slowly returning, I'm excited about that. My friends, well they're still the same. Mini drama's among drama's. I say, whatever makes their life more interesting. No matter what happens, I'm still their shrink. What else could I be? They see me as either somebody who helps. or somebody who needs help. And I never ask for help from anyone. I guess I'm stubborn in that way.

What do I see in my future right now? Good question. Maybe I'll pursue this hobby of mine. Listening to peoples problems and opening options for them. I've always been interested in Psychology. My pursuit of mastering the human mind. And, I might as well get paid for what I do anyway. Right? So you people watch out, because, **click** times up.