ONWARD ~ and ~ UPWARD

Judith Florian, R.N.

As Tamy thought about her options, she realized there were things she could do - NOW - towards a goal of becoming a college student.  Knowing she would major in both Business and Mathematics, Tamy thought about how she could increase her chances of (1) getting into the better of 2 universities near her town and (2) getting better grades.  She decided that she needed to spend the next year preparing herself for college life and entrance exams.  Maybe she could "test out" of some of the math courses too, which would decrease the number of actual classes she would need to take (and lessen the costs of education).

She decided to do these things as steps (mini-goals) in order to reach her main goal:
(1) Find high school level math books at the local library to brush up on her math skills.  Later she could find college-level freshman math books.
(2) That she would use Bobby's naptime every day as her study time.  She planned to finish each book within 2 months, knowing the library books could be renewed every couple weeks.
(3) She would contact the University for their Catalogue that describes the required course-work for different majors.  And she would get information about which courses she could attempt to "test out of" by Waiver testing.
(4) Her first long-term goal is to pass at least one College Waiver test in one year.

Setting these 4 goals, it was easier to see what steps she would need to take to achieve each mini goal, and thus, how she could get to her main goal.  Writing the mini-goals on paper helped make the goals more real, and kept her from feeling overwhelmed by only focusing on "I have to go to college so I can have an occupation in order to support myself and the kids!"  She planned for the next year to live on savings, plus whatever child support, spousal support and public welfare that was available to her.  

The 2-year school I chose was HARD.  Heck it was hard being a single mom of a daycare-age child, AND going to school, AND studying, AND doing housework AND laundry at the laundromat, AND having no car during those 2 years...  Every day was a CHOICE I made to meet the mini-goals, which would get me to my MAIN GOAL.  Every day.  Period.  I had a choice to DO small things towards my goal -- OR, not get to my goal.  It was as simple as that!

After school, I'd walk to the daycare, then we'd walk home. I'd make dinner and play a little bit.  I made a deal with MYSELF that if I watched 15 minutes of TV, I would also get focused and READ my textbooks a solid 15 minutes. I'd pick one 30-minute show to watch, and afterwards, I made sure I hit the books.  I'd put my child in the tub, and sit on the toilet seat with my nursing book to study, or I'd use index cards as study aides.  My child had my undivided attention for snack and bedtime, but then I would study again -- with every bit of my attention.  Bed came about midnight or 1a.m. for me -- but I was back up at 4 am EVERY day to study more.  At 5 a.m., I'd get clothes ready and wake my child.  We'd dress, get breakfast, then I'd walk her to daycare at 6 am.  (Gawd I felt SO guilty about my child!)  On the way there and at the end of the day, we'd talk and sing and tell jokes along the way.  Once she was at daycare, I'd walk several more miles to school, and if there was time to kill, I'd study more.  

After 2 grueling years, my child and I graduated from nursing school !  Well, my child only graduated from daycare, but I felt like she, too, had put in her time too for me to graduate as a Nurse.  We'd both made a lot of sacrifices, but I know it would have been much harder on both of us if I had not kept committed to the smaller goals along the way!