ONWARD ~ and ~ UPWARD Judith Florian, R.N.

Featuring articles and discussion of diverse topics, including:

Issues concerning Disabilities, Home Health Care, Sexual Abuse of Children, and Advocacy.

BEING YOUR OWN LIFE COACH

There is a point after the initial illness or injury that turns out to be chronic that a person asks "What now?   What do I do now?  How will I use my time and talents, maybe in a different way than before?  How can I still have a fulfilling life?" 

Yet, there is a lot to think about in HOW to reach the goals you set.  And before you can set goals, you may have a lot of soul-searching to do to figure out just what you want to do.  Too often, disabled and ill folks stop themselves from reaching for their dreams, because the obstacles in their life are very real and seem insurmountable.

Your family might be very loving and supportive - or not - about helping you think about your dreams and then meeting goals you've set for yourself.  You might find your friends can help you process ideas you have to create a different life.  But, friends and family may not know how to help you or support you in achieving the steps to your goals.    As I've written before on this web site, it is very common for family or friends to withdraw from an ill or disabled person.  And that is a sad fact.

So where can you get support and help?  Is there anyone who cares about what your life is - now? Or what your life can be?

Physical
Check with your doctor before beginning any exercise.

Different therapies may, or may not, help you strengthen your physical body, relieve pain, and get healthier.  Many chronically ill or disabled persons cannot participate in these services because of the physical problems they face daily.  Other persons cannot get services because of limitations placed on these services by insurance companies.  For example, most insurances won't pay for physical therapy if there is not consistent and substantial progress in meeting the patient's goals.  But, many patients cannot meet large goals: You may be doing great if you can do just one step forward, or climb just one stair -- or manage some other small physical goal. 

If you can receive physical therapy, that's great; take advantage of every service offered to you.  If you don't receive traditional physical therapy, though, there are things you can do.  Get in a swimming pool if there's one nearby and you have the help you need.  Pools are a great way to get exercise because even the smallest movement of one body part adds resistance by being in the water, thus increasing the benefits to your body.  If all you can do is push your arms or move your legs underwater, your muscles will get a work-out.

You can do things for yourself at home too, without extra equipment.  

Grab a thick book (or thin one to start) and use it as a dumb-bell (just not over your head!).  Or put it on the floor and rest your toes on it; lift your heels.  Scoot the book closer until your heels are on it and lift your toes.   

Use a can of soup as weights - a regular full soup can is about 1 pound.  Vegetables and canned fruit weight more (again, careful around your head).   

Use music and "dance" - even if you are stuck in a wheelchair or bed.   

If you can stand, use walls or doorways - Stand inside the doorway, and put your hands on both sides of the doorway.  "Walk your fingers" up the sides and down.   Stand against a wall and slightly bend your knees and straighten them (don't lock your knees though or push your knees back to the wall - that can cause injury).  Again using the wall, put a chair in front of you - bend over with your hands on the seat of the chair, let your head drop, feel the stretch in your spine - slowly straighten up to standing.   

Think of other ways you can safely get movement into your body.  Whatever you MOVE you will make improvement in circulation, flexibility, and strength.  You may also have less aches and pains.

Employment

Agencies such as the Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation (under other names in different States) primarily focus on job skills by either turning the skills you have into gainful employment, or getting you additional training so you can re-enter the work-force.  But generally, they do not help someone who is battling repeated times of illness, or someone who can't get out of their house.*

But, if you can't enroll with an agency, what can you do to improve your circumstances?  First, you can do the same things an agency would do when they open your case: review your interests, skills, and education.  You can do this yourself.   Think about (and write down) the things you have done throughout your life, including paid jobs, volunteer work, and interests you've had even though you never worked a job in that area of interest.  

On another page, write about your dreams.  If there were NO obstacles of any kind, WHAT would you be doing in life?  In this writing, include where you would live, who lives with you, what education do you have, what you do for employment, what are your hobbies, what do you value, and really describe your dream life.  Now, take your writing and underline the parts that are skills you already have or similarities between your current life and "dream" life.   Circle any parts of your dream life that are skills or knowledge/ education you would need to create your dream life.  Highlight the values in your story, and look for differences and similarities between the values you live now and ones you wrote about.  Spend some time thinking about the parts you circled, underlined and highlighted, and how you can include more of these things in your life NOW.  Don't expect to do the thinking in one day -- you may find yourself taking months or even a year to really consider all aspects of your life, and what life you want to create.  Try to think of steps you can take to include your dream life into your "real life" and then set some goals to get your life moving in that direction.

EMOTIONAL

Ups and downs are ongoing in situations of illness and disability.  It's hard to keep yourself out of the lows and away from depression.  Everyday can bring frustrations and problems, getting in the way of your best intentions and meeting your goals.  Support is important to every human being, but even more when you are adjusting to illness and disability, or trying to re-create your life.

It is hard to get therapy when it is hard to get out of your house.  Luckily, some public programs /insurances are now paying for out-of-state therapists who do internet or telephone therapy.  If you choose to go this route, do your research.  Therapists must be licensed by a State Board (there's one for Doctors, Psychologists, Counselors, and Social Workers).  You can check that a professional has a current license and whether there have been complaints by other patients.  Use caution if you contact any professional who is not within your local area; ask for references; ask for a free consultation and really interview the person; ask questions about education and employment.  Get the address and telephone numbers of their agency or employer and contact the Better Business Bureau in their city to check them out.  With any internet service or product, be careful about sharing information until you are certain that the person is legitimate.  If you are paying out-of-pocket for services, be careful and only use traceable forms of payment, such as a credit card.

LIFE COACHES

If you need additional support in meeting goals, research for a Life Coach.  These persons are NOT therapists, but have been trained in supporting others in discovering and reaching goals.  Look on the internet for schools or institutes that provide training for life coaches.  Schools and institutes maintain some lists of graduates who are looking for people to coach.  Students and new coaches may offer reduced or low-cost fees.  All coaches offer telephone and e-mail contact.  You should check references and follow your instincts about a person: If something in your gut tells you the Coach is not the right person, they probably aren't right for you.

If you'd like to read more about trained Life Coaches, the internet has hundreds of websites and articles.  If you'd like to learn more about coaching yourself, read the next pages.  

*This comes from stories shared by others and personal experience with my State's BVR offices.  You may have a different experience of how well similar offices deal with physical limitations in other States.

Disabilities...... Home Health Care...... Sexual Abuse of Children...... Advocacy......... Jump to: Top of Page      If you have corrections to the content of this site or if you find broken links, please email me. The title "Onward ~ and ~ Upward" is a "motto" I used as a teenager and young adult --- then forgot about for a number of years.  I feel it is a fitting motto to strive for and a fitting title for the topics of this website.   (c) Judith Ann Florian 159 E. Main St. Girard, Ohio 44420 Disclaimer: This website is intended to convey information and discussion ONLY, on a variety of topics, and reflects the views of this author and submitters to this website.  The information provided on this website is not intended as a substitute for a medical opinion or diagnosis.  If you are suffering from an illness, injury, pain or other symptoms, please seek help and diagnosis from a medical professional.  If you are feeling suicidal or are thinking of harming yourself, in any way or by any means, call your therapist, your local 911, your local police department or other law enforcement, your local hospital emergency room, and your local crisis numbers. The webmaster of this site will not reply to emails from any person in a crisis situation. Copyright Notice - Information provided is for personal use only and may not be used on any other website.  All graphics and content on this web site are under copyright.  No portion may be reproduced, in part or in whole.  Contact the webmaster for information about publication rights.  © 2005-present, Judith Florian, Copyright - All rights reserved. Credit: Visit "The Art of Penny Parker" for elegant backgrounds and images.   This page was last updated on Sunday, April 30, 2006 22:47