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Who Am I - What Can I DO with my Life?
In this most exquisitely lonely and desolate place
I walk alone, soul-searching and in jarring grief
My Valley of the Shadow of Death came early
My body has betrayed me - and I sit in disbelief. My
world is shaken, pieces of me in disarray
My former self, my job, my role, is gone
Tell me dear God, WHO and WHAT am I NOW?
That my body is broken - my life done. I know my
Maker loves me - I'm His child I know
In His Image he made us unique -- even ME,
But the physical burden I now carry is great--
Is my broken body meant to teach humility? From a
young child, I strove to be the best
I met my goals by my brain, hard work, and drive
Always focused on success in any ambition
But with broken body, I wonder why I've survived? To
me, life is more than surviving day by day
In my heart, having "a purpose" was instilled
But now I can't do the job I was trained to do
And the purpose of my heart is not fulfilled. My
mind swirls with the dreams and hopes I had held
Before my world changed in a minute - in a second ---
TELL me, dear God, WHO and WHAT AM I NOW
My body broken, spirit low, my life is done I reckon... I
ponder what's to become of me, so little am I now
Can't talk, can't walk, can't DO what I did before
If I can't hold a job, earn a living, contribute --
Tell me, is this new disability ALL my life is for?? In
His Image God made a unique kaleidoscope--mandala
Everyday I could multi-task as I did so very many things
But over time the mirror showed me only as one role
And I forgot I had many talents that make my heart sing! Oh
I remember, I remember the things I wanted to do!
All I wanted to accomplish, and aspire to, and to own!
I grieve my former self, and search for my future life
In this Valley of the Shadow of Death, little pieces are shown. Slowly
I'm reminded... a teacher complimented my art...
Friends impressed with my words... a moment in time...
Slowly I see the kaleidoscope-mandala others have seen
And realize these things were many talents, all mine! I
must figure out my future while surviving just today,
My former self is gone, in a moment it became history.
Today I awake to the realization, my purpose WILL come
Surely I can re-build my life, from bits and pieces of me!!! Each
day my heart opens, just a little more,
As I re-arrange my mind around all the many possibilities...
To make a fulfilling future life, I must turn my kaleidoscope
To forgotten talents and gifts I have, and in order to change my life -- in
these I must believe!
In a life-changing moment, a
person's view of themselves is blurred, like looking at this
out-of-focus mandala. 
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| As the person ponders their life, their long-
forgotten talents and gifts emerge. Although life after
illness/injury felt smaller, the person comes to see the
kaleidoscope--mandala that God intended them to be. |
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The
author has no financial connection or relationship to any web site links -
the web sites used are to define terms, and were sites that described the
same meaning the writer intended to convey in the poem.
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