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Stewie:

Count Stewie: Can I count to 3? For god's sakes I'm already shooting at a fifth grade level.
Life like Stewie: Life is like...howeve you like is like a box of active hand grenades!
Who Hell Stewie: Who the Hell do you think you are?
BurnHell Stewie: Why don't you play in the other room. Why don't you burn in Hell?
Pickles Stewie: I require an window seat and a happy meal...and No Pickles!...God help you if I find pickles!
FG Damn Stewie: Victory is mine! ....Ahhh. Damn you all.
Soiled Stewie: Now I've gone and soiled myself. Are you happy now?
Mexicans Stewie: That's funny Mother, just this morning you said they were lazy like the dirty Mexicans.
Feces Stewie: I say, I am to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces?
Hitting Of course you didn't you worthless little... (whack). There see what you made me do. Do you think I enjoy hitting you? Well, actually I do. I enjoy it so much I'm going to do it again.
Sprinkles (You want some ice cream?) Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find I shall kill you.
Wheels Stewie: Play 'Wheels on the Bus' on get the hell out of my sight.
Be Bad Stewie: Time to be bad
Brocolli Stewie: Damn the brocolli, damn you and damn the Wright brothers
Mocking The brocolli is mocking Stewie
Sesame Stewie takes care of the Sesame Street gang.
Stewie bath Stewie gets a bath... "...Take pictures so I'll have something to bring to court you wretched filthy pervert."
Deathdinner Stewie " praddling on like a school girl" when he invites Death to dinner.
Deathfan Stewie to Death: Hello, I'm Stewie, big fan
Death mail Stewie exchanges email with Death: "[email protected]"  
Wire (A Drug Transaction bothers Stewie) He's wearing a wire. (Needless to say, someone gets shot)
BeBad Stewie: Time to be bad.
Forecast Stewie: Forecast for tomorrow: a few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom.

Misc:

Get Rich Peter: Hey it' the wacky next door neighbor. What's he up to? (I'm going to work) Ha, him and his crazy get rich quick schemes.
Canada Peter: Which is more than we ever got from those free loading Canadians..............Canada Sucks.
Martini Dog: Hey Barkeep- whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Pillsbury Doughboy: (Hee Hee) Nothing says I love you like something from the- hey the hell are you doing you crazy bitch.
Wonka Wonka: I'll ask you one more time are you sure you didn't eat anything in my factory? Peter: Are you calling me a liar? Shut up Wonka.
Bellhops Peter: Do you guys have any bellhops that are rats like the Muppets?
Disney Walt Disney forcing Minnie Mouse to strip.
Boobjoke Peter: Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at when you're talking to them.
BertErnie Family Guy Spoof on Bert and Ernie.(308KB) Ernie: I wish you wouldn't drink so much Bert. Bernie:Well, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies on the damn bed. Ernie: You shouting again Bert.
Welfare Peter: We're officially on welfare. Come on kids help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
BeamGod William Shatner hit by a car: Beam me up God.

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