_____ Funny Wavs _____ Funny Wavs
THE SIMPSONS
featuring
Homer, Willy, Abe, Wiggum, Burns, Bart, Moe and more.
Limited amout of wavs
available. Download what you can.
Homer:
| Toliet | Homer: You don't see things like this in a toliet everday |
| Hack | Homer: All this computer hacking has made me thirsty. |
| Computers | Homer: Computers can do that? |
| 2nd person | Homer: This is a lot more fun with a second person. |
| Stupidhead | Homer: Dean, you're a stupid head. Dean: Homer is that you? Homer: Ahhh. |
| Anykey | Homer: To start press anykey. Where's the anykey? I see... Great startup sound |
| English | Homer: I don't need English. I'm never going to England. |
| TV Funny | Homer: TV, be more funny! |
| Dumpsville | Homer: Welcome to Dumpville. Population: You |
| Internet | Homer: They have the Internet on computers now. |
| Mr Burns | Homer: My name is Mr Burns. Ok, Mr Burns, what's your 1st name? I don't know. |
| Eat them | Homer: Don't eat me. I have a family....eat them |
| Never try | Homer: You tried and failed. The lesson: never try at all. |
| Somewhere | Homer: I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am. |
| Internet | Homer: Welcome to the Internet my friend, how can I help you? |
| Wienee | Homer: Don't let that pushy little wienee tell you what to do. |
| Go Crazy? | Homer: No beer and no TV make someting something. (Go crazy...) Don't mind if I do.... |
| Peanut | Homer explains how $20 can buy peanuts |
| Peanuts | (Noise) Homer: Will you knock it off I can't hear myself think (silence) "I want some peanuts." |
| SweetCrap | Homer: Sweet Merciful Crap! |
| Failure | Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure |
| Planet Apes | Homer: The only danger is if the send us to the Planet of Apes...Statue of liberty..that was our planet..... |
| Ice Cream | Homer: Ice Cream Truck. Me, me I was here first! |
| Right | Homer: The sum of the square roots of any 2 sides of an isocoles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaning side. (That's a right triangle you idiot) D'oh. |
| Clever | Homer: There it is Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it. D'oh. |
| Bacon | Homer: ahhhh bacon |
| Four day | If you don't come to work today don't come tommorrow. Homer: Woo Hoo Four day weekend! |
| SchoolGirl | Homer: Marge, I swear I didn;t touch her. You know how bashful I am. I can't even say the word 'tit' without giggling like a school girl. (Hee hee hee hee) |
| Queer | Homer: No wait, Queer, queer, queer. That's what you like to be called, right? |
| BedGoes | Homer: Bed Goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down. |
| ChewBees | Homer: Or what? You'll release the dog or the bees or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they chew bees at you? |
| Boogy | Homer: Ahhh! Boogy Man! |
| GayDance | Homer: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I danced with a gay. Marge, Lisa promise me you won't tell anyone |
| Flaming | Homer: You know me Marge, I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. |
| Meat | Homer: You're not going to eat meat ever again? (No) What about bacon? Ham? Porkchops? (They all come from the same animal) Yeah, right Lisa a wonderful, magical animal. |
| FatFingers | Homer dialing. *Tone* The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand please mash the keypad with your palm now |
| Damnit | Homer: Ah Damn it. |
| Strike | Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in everyday and do it really half ass. That's the America Way. |
| Invincable | Homer: I am invincable. Invincable. Owww. |
| Meow | Homer: I know you can read MY thoughts boy, meow meow meow meow meow meow, ect. |
| Suckers | Hee hee hee, so long suckers! |
| Revenge | Homer Brain: Don't say revenge. (Revenge) That's it, I'm getting out of here. (running away, door shutting) |
| ForbDnut | Homer: Mmm. Forbidden Donut. (Munch munch) |
| Closet | Homer: Bart, where did you get that shirt? (It came out of the closet) Uhh huh. |
| Suckiest | Homer: They were the suckiest sucks that ever sucked... I gotta go my damn wiener kids are listening. |
| School | (Are you a student at this school) Homer: I think it's pretty obvious I am. Go School. |
| Sheets | Homer: I hate folding sheets (That's your underwear) Whatever it is, it's a two man job; where's Bart? |
| Greasy | Homer: My god, you're greasy. |
| Forehead | Homer: There must be $20 of grease on his forehead alone... |
| Can I go | Homer: (It carries a terrible curse) That's bad. (It comes with a free yogurt.) That's good. (The yogurt is also cursed) That's bad. (But it comes with free toppings) That's bad.... Can I go now? |
| 9 to 5 | Homer: They expect me to sit here from 9 to 5? That's how many hours (10, 11, denominator) Aww, where's Lisa? |
| Arms | Homer has his arms stuck in the vending machine. |
| BeerKill | Homer: Oh Lisa, uou and your stories; Bart is a vampire, beer kills braincells. Now, lets go back to that building thingy where our beds and tv is. |
| Blackjack | Homer: (19) Hit me (20) Hit Me. (21) Hit me. (22) D'oh! |
| BlahBlah | Homer: I'm Mr. Burns. Blah Blah Blah. Do this do that. Blah Blah Blah. (Destroy Him) |
| Damn-it | Homer: Damn-it....Ahhh hell with this. |
| Daylight | Homer: First time I've ever been early for work. Except for all those Daylight savings time. Lousy Farmers. |
| Dogbiscuit | Homer: This taste just like a...Dog Biscuit! |
| Robot | Homer: You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot. |
| Undersea | Homer: Under the sea. Under the sea. There'll be no accusations, just friendly crustations under the sea. |
| WrongAgain | Homer: Wrong Again! |
| Hmr_Champ | Homer: I am the champion. I am the champions. No time for losers because I am the champions of the world. |
| Yulittle | Homer: Why you little! |
| Mydog | Homer: I tied MY dog outside MYself. I am looking at him right...D'oh! |
| Smrt | Homer: I am so smart, S-M-R-T. I mean S-M-AR-T. |
| Thmpson | When I say Hello Mr. Thompson and press down on your foot, you smile and nod. Now, Hello Mr. Thompson (Homer, whispering: I think he's talking to you) |
| Thermodynamics | Homer: In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! |
Grandpa Simpson (out of order):
| Elevator | Abe: This elevator only goes to the basement and someone made an awful mess down there. | |
| 3 states | Abe: Dear Mr President, there are too many states...please eliminate 3.... | |
| Govmon | Abe: (Where he got money) The Government. I didn't earn it, I don't need it, but if they miss one payment I'll raise hell. | |
| Metric | Abe: The metric system is the work of the devil. My car gets 40 rods to the hoghead and that's the way I likes it. | |
| Dikkity | Abe: We had to say dikkity because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dikkity-six miles. | |
| Abesex | Abe: I had seeeeeeexxxxxxx. | |
| Doomed | Abe: We're all doomed! | |
| German_plane | Abe: I never thought I could shoot down a German plane But last year I proved myself wrong. | |
| Death2. | Abe: Death stalks you at every turn...Death!.... Ahh Death!... | |
| Pills | Abe: (knocking on door) Hello? Hello? You have my pills. I'm cold and there are wolves after me. (Howling) | |
| MatlockCorn | Abe: (Matlocks not real) Neither are my teeth but I can still eat corn on the cob...if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste. Now, that's good eatin'. |
| PrezSpank | Grandpa: Big deal. When I was a pup, we got spanked by presidents til the cows came home. Grover Clevland spanked me on two non-consecutive occassions. |
Groundskeeper Willy (Out of Order):
| Kill It | Willy: (I bring you love and peace.) Ah It's a Monster. Kill it. (No, its Mr. Burns) Ahh Kill it |
| Mayor | Willy: If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya. |
| Makeway | Willy: Makeway for Willy. (Crash) I said make way for Willy. |
| Warned | Willy: I warned ya, didn't I warn ya? |
| Killburns | Willy: I'll kill that Mr. Burns and uh... wound that Mr. Smithers. |
| Bonjour | Willy: (teaching French) Bonjour...ya cheese eating surrender monkeys. |
| Chalk | Willy: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya. That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself. |
| Willhearsya | Willy: Willy hears ya, Willy don't care. |
| Weeturtles | Willy: If I don't save the wee turtles, who will? ...Ahh, save me from the wee turtles. They were too quick for me. |
Bart
| Toxic gas | Bart: I find it ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas. |
| Nerd | Bart: Target sighed. Launching air to nerd missile. (Lisa: Ow) |
| Crap | Bart: What a load of crappy crap crap. |
| G Morning | Bart: Good Morning World! |
Moe
| Love of | Moe: Oh for the love of God! |
| Garage | Moe: The Garage, the garage. Well, oh la de da Mr. Frenchman. (What do you call it?) A car hole. |
| Shutbum | Moe: Shut up ya bums, shut up! |
| OhGodNo | Moe: Oh dear god no. |
| MoeLiar | Moe is subject to a lie detector test which reveals his plans for the night. (It involves a Sears catalouge) |
| Wall | (Hey Moe Look over there) What? I don't see nothing. Is that it? (Homer: Can I look?) Yeah, but it'll cost you. (My wallet's in the car) He is so stupid...and now back to the wall. |
Apu:
| Apu Hell | Apu: Thank you for coming. I'll see you in hell. |
| Apu Ice | Apu: We're putting that bitch on ice.. |
| Apu Eng | Apu: Yes, I'm sorry, I do not speak english. |
| Twinkee | Apu: Silly customer, you can not hurt the twinkee. |
Mr. Burns
| Excellent | Mr Burns: Excellent. |
| Germans | The Germans don't scare Mr. Burns... |
| Sprc Mse | Mr. Burns: We'll take the Spruce Moose. Hop in. (Smithers: but sir...) [gun cocking] I said hop in. |
| Dummer | Mr. Burns: This Simpson fellow seems to be getting dummer by the minute. I've never seen anything quite like it. |
| Turn On | Burns: Hello Smithers,- your're- quite- good- at- turning- me- on. |
| Yoink | Burns: Yoink! |
| PocketRock | Burns: Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket. (You don't have to tell me sir) |
Wiggums
| 555 phony | Wiggum: Trace the phone number...5-5-5-oh geez that's gotta be phony. |
| Evidence | Wiggum: See ya in court Simpson and bring that evidence with ya otherwise I got no case and you go free. |
| PoliceGun | Crazy Guy: Forget about the badge, when do we get the freaking gun? Wiggum: Hey, you don't get the gun until you tell me your name. |
| Jackass | Wiggum: Your story is very compelling Mr Jackass |
| Egghead | Prof. Frinnk: Here is an ordinary square. Wiggum: Woa, woa slow down egghead. |
| Bananas | A fight at the aquarium. Wiggum: They still sell those frozen bananas? (Yeah) Let's roll. |
| Worms | Ralph: The happiest day of my life was when the doctors said I didn't have worms anymore. |
Misc Characters: (OUT OF ORDER)
| Dr Nick | Dr Nick: Hi Everybody. |
| Krusty | Krusty: I could pull a better cartoon out of my as---ah ha ha kids... |
| JohnHomo | Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a ho-mo- (right) sexual. (Ahhhhhhhh) |
| Goldfish | Milhouse: Remember the time he eat my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish. But why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl? |
| HotDamn | Cletus: (Getting License) Hot Damn. No more sitting in the dirt at the Drive-In. |
| OhMyLord | Ned Flanders: Oh My Lord! Something horrible has happened. Homer laughing: Fooled ya Flanders, made you think your family was dead. |
| Roger Doger | Flanders: Roger Doger. |
| Atom | McBain: Up and Atom. Up and atom! Up and Atom! |
| Cosby | Bill Cosby: Meet Grandpa Murphy (We have 3 Grandpas already) This one's a great jazz musician. |
| Crime | Snake: Alright, time for a crime spree. |
| WalletInsp | Snake: Wallest Inspector. (Here you go. I believe it's all in order). I can't believe that worked. |
| Morebeer | Barney: Hey Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case and the other case there's only one case left. -Yeah barney's right. |
| GScout | Barney: My name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic. (This is a Girl Scout Meeting) Is it? Or is that you girls just can't admit you have a problem? |
| Nothing | McBain: My eyes! The goggles do nothing. |
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