Well, i finally made it to, & am now back from, Freeport. Look for a long, boring story about it in a few days. It was a good trip... & it seems as though quite a bit was going on in the world while i was gone. Johnnie Cockring died, Terri Schiavo was dying (and actually died today) & it seems as if The Pope will live forever. Ho, ho... the Fat is in the Fire, if i can borrow a phrase from the Doc.
-cpb 3/31 {link}

PSYCH!
-cpb 3/25, 1:51 PM EST {link}

I am off to the Bahamas, biatches. For the next four days it's nothing but beach & booze for me.
-cpb 3/25, 4:07 AM EST {link}

Damn it! First it's VH1 conspiring to keep me from my NCAA jones, now it's AMC. Rocky I, II, III, IV... all back to back. And i watched the first one, so i had to watch the rest. Luckily i have a quick clicker finger.
Quick question... is there anything gayer than the scene in Rocky III when Rocky & Apollo are racing in the sand & Rocky finally beats Apollo & they dance around in the water & hug in slow motion? That scene makes my nuts shrivel up & kick each other. Luckily, a couple hours later, i got to see Russian dude say, "Everything he hits... he destroys."
And speaking of gay... what the hell is going on with Hootie, er, Darius Rucker doing those lame-ass Burger King commercials? Does this man actually consider himself black? And what the hell... is he having that hard of a time getting a gig? I mean, i realize the Hootie thing is over, thank god (sorry Gregor), but DAMN...
-cpb 3/20 {link}

So... 26-6 after the first round. Pretty good, for me, but not good enough to give a shit about the rest of my picks. I'm probably not going to win a car or a million dollars or what-the-hell-ever. Damn you, Vermont! I knew it.
Anyway, today is my birthday & i am the fucking man, so deal with it.
-cpb 3/19 {link}

Well, despite a scare with Okie State, the team i picked to win it all & had to bust ass to beat SE Louisiana, I managed to rack up four more correct picks, moving me to 18-2. Although, i'd gladly take 17-3 if Ohio could have pulled out that sweet comeback. MAC power, baby. Just not this year. Anyway, i'm doing pretty well, so far, but i plan on dropping six or seven games this afternoon to really douche stuff up. Especially when Oakland beats UNC here in a couple hours to completely destroy my bracket.
-cpb 3/18, 2:49 PM EST {link}

Damn you, VH1! Right when Ohio is starting to make a run at Florida, I happen to skip around during a commercial & see that VH1 is running the Woodstock movie. And, of course, it's The Who part. So, obviously, i have to watch Listening To You, Summertime Blues & Townshend's little solo before tossing his guitar into the crowd. I love the PA announcer as they're leaving the stage. "Ladies & gentlemen..... The Who." I love the pause. It's almost as if he's saying, "Ladies & gentlemen... you can all go home now, cos it doesn't get any better than that." And, quite frankly, it doesn't... at least not until 1970 when The Who tore the Isle Of Wight Festival a new asshole. Anyway... I get back to the Ohio/Florida game & the Gators had gotten out to about a 10 point lead. Fucking VH1.
-cpb 3/18, 1:17 PM EST {link}

So... my record is up to 10-2, but quite frankly i don't give a shit. Cos i talked to Knitt & Bierlein tonight, bi-a-tches. Yeah!
-cpb 3/17, 9:42 PM EST {link}

Well, the first four games of the tourney are over & i've already missed two games... my last second decision to pick Niagara turned out to be bunk & i lost my first Sweet 16 team in Pitt. At least i picked the UW-M/Bama game right, right? I'm starting to wish that someone would break into the CBS set & kick Clark Kellogg in the nuts... what a douche-bag.
Oh, & by the way... Happy St. Patrick's Day! Yeah, i've had a few already... so what? Wanna fight about it?
-cpb 3/17, 2:59 PM EST {link}

Alright, one more sports post & then i'm done... at least until my next post.
While watching Sportscenter this morning, i caught a commercial for the women's NCAA Basketball Tournament, which, rumor has it, is starting on Saturday (if a tree falls in the forest...). In the spot, they play some dumb-ass country song that goes, "This one's for the girls." Frankly, they couldn't be more right. It definitely is for the girls, cos it's certainly not for anyone looking to watch some basketball.
So, i filled out my bracket this morning & goddamn, it was tough. No real obvious upsets hit me... but i ended up with a few. In the first round i have UWM beating Bama & Old Dominion beating MSU for the obligatory 12-5 upsets. I have Niagara beating Oklahoma. And i also have NC St. beating Charlotte, if you can call that an upset. In the second round i have Texas Tech beating Gonzaga, Pitt beating Washington & Wisconsin beating Kansas, then i have Syracuse over Duke, but that's about it for big or even moderately big upsets for the rest of the way. In the Final Four, i have Oklahoma St. beating Louisville & No. Carolina over Kentucky, then OSU beating UNC in the final game. Not too many stretches, i confess... but what the hell? Actually, i doubt there are too many people picking Okie St. to win it all, but as i said before, screw my picks, i just want to see good games. And i would really like to see Eddie Sutton & OSU win it all, so i figured i'd pick them so i can root for them the whole way. Selah, i guess.
-cpb 3/16 {link}

Damn, growing old is a biatch! I'm a few days shy of my 27th birthday, & although i've already hit most of the Old Man River hair milestones - receding & thinning hair, grey hair, thick ear hair, rabid nose hair, nasty back hair - today, while trimming my pubs, i discovered one more. I can now add grey pubic hair to the list. Oh, what a treat! I think i'm going to go to the hair salon & ask them if I can get my pubs streaked. "Nothing fancy, just frost my bush." People giving me odd looks as the staff try to figure out how to place me underneath a dryer.

Anyway... i gotta get to some college b'ball.

Love, love, love! Love the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament. In fact, i just got done watching Oakland University win what the NCAA insists on calling the "opening round" game. Give me a break... just call it what it is - a play-in game. But whatever, it was good to see Oakland win, being that it is the most local team in the tournament (actually Rochester is 85 miles away from Tecumseh & East Lansing is only 80, but screw Michigan State). Plus, their coach, Greg Kampe, who's been at OU for about 20 years now, is good people. He was a speaker at a basketball camp in Indiana i went to for a few years in high school. He's a nice guy, funny & knows a helluva lot about the game of basketball. And yes, that is his real hair.
I've not yet made my tourney picks. Of course, i was waiting to see if OU won tonight, so i could pick them to go to the Final Four. Or whatever. I'll sit down tomorrow & figure out my bracket, which by Sunday will be totally fucked, per usual. But screw my picks, anyway. I used to be pretty good, but the more & more college basketball i watch, the worse & worse my picks get. I really don't care, though. I'd rather just root for upsets & stuff than worry about my brackets.
-cpb 3/15 {link}

Was thinking about the Black Eyed Peas song Let's Get Retarded the other day. First off, I didn't even know that the Black Eyed Peas did this song. I thought that the original song was Let's Get It Started, & that the Retarded version was a parody done by somebody else. Anyway, i grew to absolutely HATE Let's Get It Started last year during the NBA playoffs, cos it got played on every single promo for every single game. The Retarded version, however, i thought was great. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago, while watching Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle that i realized that it was the Black Eyed Peas doing Retarded. Upon further investigation, i found that Let's Get Retarded was, in fact, the original version.
Then, last week, while reading Playboy's music issue, i read a little snippet interview with Will.I.ambic Pentameter, or whatever the hell his name is, & they asked him why it was that they originally started singing Let's Get It Started instead of Let's Get Retarded in concert. His response was that, at shows, the handicapped section is always at the front of the stage & he felt bad singing Let's Get Retarded in front of handis 'n' such.
Now, at first, i was thinking - fuck that, if you wanna write & record a song like that, then have the fucking balls to hone up to it & play the fucker. Ice-T didn't hold back Cop Killer just cos there were some cops around.
But then i had a thought that pissed me off even more than that - what if there were retarded people at the show who came just to hear that song? Then they sing Let's Get It Started. What a rip-off! Black Eyed Peas are robbing retards of their song. It's kinda like when a singer fits the name of the city he's playing in into the lyrics of a song & everyone in the crowd erupts into, "Ooohs," & "Yeahs!" I'll bet if Black Eyed Peas broke into Let's Get Retarded & there were some 'tards in the audience, they'd be into it. They'd probably start rocking back & forth & doing the Mongo head bob.
-cpb 3/12 {link}

Vernal equinox, my ass! Well, i guess that's not for another week or so, but motherfuck Michigan & its whore-ass weather. Warm or cold, warm or cold. Pick one & stick to it, dick.
I'm just bitter cos i made it through the entire "winter proper" without getting sick & then PA-DOW! On top of the requisite lunger cough & sore throat, i've also spent most of this past week feeling like Vincent D'Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket after everyone beats him with their soap rolled up in a towel. Asshole weather.
-cpb 3/11 {link}

Last night i was watching the end of the finals of the Mid Continent men's basketball tournament, won on a 3-pointer with a second left by Oakland University over Oral Roberts. It was an exciting final four minutes. However, watching the game, i couldn't stop thinking of two things.
1) I can't believe that Oral Roberts University is still around... wasn't Oral Roberts the guy who said he needed people to send him money so that he could give the money to Jesus, who would soon come calling, or some such nonsense like that?
2) Remember that episode of Perfect Strangers when Balki & Larry were in a dentist's office & got into the laughing gas & Larry asks Balki what he was doing & Balki says, "I'm performing an Orel Hershiser."? That was funny.
-cpb 3/9 {link}

Many things to get to...

Hope Springs Eternal:
Baseball season - hoooooooooooo! Spring training is underway, & although i'm excited, cos i love baseball, the more & more i hear about all this steroid shit the more i want to kick some random stranger in the groin. Barry Bonds & his monster head can French kiss my asshole as far as i'm concerned. Quite frankly, i'm rooting for a nice career-ending injury sometime around home run number 740 or so. A non-juiced Bonds couldn't have held Henry Aaron's jock strap. Jesus, i sound like a bitter old man. "Goddamn kids, with their Pac Man & hoola-hoops."
Anyway, i'm hoping that, at the very least, the hometown Tiggers put a decent product on the field this year. I've heard a lot of delusional Detroiters out there, gripping on the loss of hockey, talking about how the Tigers are going to win the Central division. I don't think i'd go quite that far, but in a shitty-ass division like the AL Central, anything can happen. Let's just hope Magglio Ordonez doesn't turn out to be another Juan Gonzalez.

College Basketball - Championship Week:
My favorite time of year, baby. The week that rocks the house that rocks the body. I love watching the conference tournament games. Great games with teams that know & hate each other... many of which are fighting to get into the big dance. It's great foreplay for the orgasm that is the NCAA Tournament.

Hippies 'N' Such:
Oh yeah... remind me to tell you about this job i had for a day.

"Yeah - 220, 221... whatever it takes.":
No pun intended, but... holy shit - i almost fucking forgot!
It is freegin' March... & you know what that means! Hot-Torrid Butt-Sex Month. Yeah boy-zzzzzz.



This Crap Over Here -------->:
Yeah, i don't know what the hell is up with this shit on the side over here. Fuck GeoCities, fuck Yahoo! & fuck, fuckiddy, fuck. It's screwing everything up & i'm pissed & i'm just going to sit here & piss & moan & bitch & "Wah, wah, wah."
Anyone want to pay for a domain name for me? Yeah, i didn't think so.
-cpb 3/5 {link}

Well, it looks as though Hunter Thompson had actually been planning to kill himself for a short time due to his failing health & his want to "die on top", or some such nonsense. Which makes me feel a bit better about the whole situation, especially after hearing that his family is trying to figure a way to shoot his remains out of a canon.
Unfortunately, however, this past week, back here in the real world, my wife & i had to deal with the passing of her grandmother. It was odd to see the emotions that my wife went through this week, being that she was not close to this grandmother, &, in fact, at times did not like this woman at all. It was an odd contrast to a couple years ago when she lost her grandfather (on the other side), whom she was very, very close to. It really got me thinking about my grandparents, all 4 of whom are still kickin', but are all getting to "that" age, where stuff starts breaking & doesn't get better. I really don't know how i'm going to take it when they do pass... i mean, i love both sets, although i am closer to my mother's parents, who still live in my hometown (my father's parents now live in Florida). So, i will definitely be sad, but even more than that, i realize i will be struck with a great amount of regret. I'm finally getting to a point in my life where i'm beginning to realize how important my family & close friend are to me & it's sad to say that i've taken advantage of nearly all of them. I've always just taken advantage of the fact that my grandparents will always be there... & it's starting to sink in that they won't. Damn i hate funerals... always get me thinking...
-cpb 2/26 {link}

Well, it's a little after 6 in the evening now... i've had a few hours of sleep & most the day to think about the good Doctor killing himself. And, quite frankly, i'm still in shock. I guess i just wished i knew why he did it, but i guess that's the case any time someone kills themselves. My condolences go out to his wife & son.

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.
-Dr. Johnson

Thompson used this quote to lead off the final chapter of his first book, Hell's Angels. For some reason it seems appropriate right now. Today, the world is a poorer place.
-cpb 2/21, 6:20 PM EST {link}

I am in utter & complete shock right now. I was just getting ready to go to bed, but wanted to check my e-mail quick before "bedding down". So, after logging on, i glance at the "top news stories" jigger on the NetZero page that pops up & i was floored to find that Hunter S. Thompson has killed himself. Unfortunately, at this time, there isn't any word as to what caused him to do this. I've always been very aware of that fine line between insanity & genius... the so-called "tortured creative soul". Sometimes a bit too aware. But this really caught me as strange. As i said, there isn't much info right now, but i can't imagine what Thompson could possibly have been going through that would have made him take his own life. From all that i've read about his life, it seems as though he's been through any kind of shit trip you could possibly dream up... drugs, booze, unemployment, being arrested, being broke, losing friend, family, etc. - among other things. The only thing i can think of is that he found out he had cancer or something. But who knows... if i was that talented, i'd probably have been dead 8 years ago. Right now, i don't even want to talk about how much i loved this guy's writing (if i had to choose my favorite writer, he'd probably be it)... i'm still in shock. If i was that kinda person, i'd cry. But, i guess if i didn't cry when The Ox died, i can't cry now. Selah.
-cpb 2/21, 12:56 AM EST {link}

Well, make that 2-0, D-Con. I came downstairs at about 3:30 in the morning to pee (actually, i came downstairs cos my wife had to pee & she didn't want to go by herself past the kitchen, aka - The Mouse Field) & happened to check the trap i had put back into the spot of Murder #1, & lo & behold - we's gots arrselves another mousey (i've heard that The Mouse Police Never Sleeps). Which is good, i guess, that we caught one. But bad, because i was really, really, really hoping that there was going to be just the one "rogue" mouse. There are actually two reasons i was hoping this to be the case:
The first reason, obviously, is the fact that if there is more than one, there are probably LOTS... somewhere, lurking in the shadows, with their little feet & teeth... going, "chew, chew, chew." I've found myself turning into George Costanza's dad on Seinfeld.
"I will not tolerate infestation!"
The other reason is a bit esoteric. I just kinda like the idea of a rogue mouse, out on his own, makin' it in the big city, finally finding a place to settle down, a nice, warm house with a good food supply & a nice view. Then said mouse getting its neck crushed by a solid steel bar crashing down on it. Romance is dead, i guess.
-cpb 2/18, 4:46 PM EST {link}

Friday, February 18th, 2005 - 12:46 AM EST

2 D-Con Ultra Set mouse traps (~14 hours after being set) - 1
1 drug-addled indoor (but still with claws) cat - 0

Eli, you disappoint, you disappoint.
-cpb 2/18, 12:46 AM EST {link}

Ever see something that makes you go, "Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww," and then makes you kind of convulse and make a gagging noise. Like a guy eating a bug... or a compound fracture. Well, i saw just that this morning. I got up with the wife to help her off to work & as i walked into the kitchen & turned the light on i saw Cat in a life & death struggle with a goddamn mouse. Well, maybe i'm being a bit dramatic... Cat was just batting the mouse around. Then the damn thing got away & scurried underneath the stove. Stupid bastard cat - what do we pay you for, anyhow? In Cat's defense, however, i think he was at a bit of a disadvantage due to being in the grips of a bad Ibogaine crunch. But still, this is the first action he's seen since he boarded our slave ship/SUV out in B.F.E. & was brought in shackles & chains to our humble abode... & he goddamn blew it!

But anyhow, in response something this crazy-ass glam rocker that i had a conversation with in my dream last night said, i really don't believe that Marc Bolan sings, "I'm the ding-dong doo-doo man," in the T. Rex song Rip Off. Sorry, Elton Lesitivist.
-cpb 2/17 {link}

Super Bowl XXXIX (or, How I Learned To Love The Un-Exciting)

The Super Bowl, i guess, is intrinsically exciting, just because it's "the" big game & the network hypes the shit out of it with clips & songs meant to pump you up & all that crap. It's getting to the point, though, that the shit is getting to be just a bit overdone. Two straight weeks of analasis of one game, not to mention an all-day pre-game, just tends to make my brain hurt. I guess it would be a bit different if i had had a rooting interest in the game, but i didn't. Quite frankly, i couldn't have cared less who won.
Anyway, here are some notes i gathered watching the game. I know this is a bit late, but screw you & screw deadlines & screw that clock giving me funny looks.

The Game:
-1st Quarter - all D, all the time
-Dude (Eugene Wilson) BROKE HIS ARM... AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
-1st Half - only 7-7, but a decent watch so far... some good plays, some interesting stuff going on
-Terrell Owens looking pretty good... makes some good catches, but doesn't look to be a "big play" threat
-New England's comes out of halftime & says, "Well, apparently it's March."
-"Betty" Vrabel, the Linebacker with the good hands
-What the hell is Philly's offense doing in the final 5 minutes?
In the end, though, at least it was a pretty good & close game. Although i did pick the Pats to win, i thought they'd win easily. But you can't win 'em all, right?

Halftime:
Overall, i'd have to say that i enjoyed the halftime show with Paul McCartney. I've been hearing a lot of crap about how boring it was, but what do you expect in these times of conservative domination of free speech? I was surprised that he did Baby You Can Drive My Car (especially since it looked as though the rest of the band members weren't even born when that song came out), but the rest of the songs were painfully predictable. Get Back, Live And Let Die & Hey Jude... all good songs, & well played, but predictable. One thing i was really pissed about, though, was that he didn't play Maybe I'm Amazed. What the hell, Paul?

The Commercials:
I was kind of disapointed with this year's commercials. Nothing really stood out at being "a really good commercial". The best were probably the CareerBuilder.com commercials about working with monkeys, the GoDaddy.com spot with the hot chick in front of the Senate committee & the FedEx commercial with Burt Reynolds & the bear. But, as i said, nothing really great. Luckily, however, it took until the 3rd Quarter for us to get an erectile dysfunction commercial. Last year there was a big to-do about one tit, but it seemed that every commercial break we had to hear about old guys who can't get it up anymore & four hour erections.
-cpb 2/10 {link}

Today is Hash Wednesday? Well, light up a spliff for me...

Other than that, i just had to post a gripe about people driving in the snow. What is it about snowfall that immediately turns 80% of drivers into retards? Driving 30 mph on the highway is un-fucking-acceptable! My thought has always been that if you can't drive within 10 to 15 miles an hour of the speed limit, then you shouldn't be on the road.
-cpb 2/9 {link}

I've got some notes on the Super Bowl & the ensuing commercials. However, i've not yet gotten them organized in a fashion suitable for the unbelievably organized jack-hammer thrust of this site. Er, something like that. Maybe tomorrow. But i did get the bitch right, didn't i?
Anyway, today is Fat Tuesday... & thusly, here is a list of the 5 best "fat" songs that i can think of off the top of my head:

1) Fat Man - Jethro Tull
2) The Fat Lady Of Limbourg - Brian Eno
3) Fat Cat Keeps Getting Fatter - Squirrel Nut Zippers
4) Bacon Fat - Taj Mahal
5) Fat - "Weird" Al Yankovic

-cpb 2/8 {link}

Boy, you really don't know what you almost missed. I honestly thought about shutting this shit down. "Cut that bitch off! Shut 'er down!" But i didn't. I thought i was out of funny. And hell, maybe i am. But... BUTT! But, i didn't. Maybe the funny, or, The Funny, is what i need...
I realize none of this makes sense to anyone, but i don't care.
Anyway, i just needed to let anyone who was interested know that George Lopez's new special Why You Crying? is goddamn hilarious. I caught most of it last night on Comedy Central, & i have to say i was blown away. It was the first time i've ever seen Lopez doing stand-up... i had no idea he was actually funny. Shee-it, man!
Anyway, i'm not really sure if i'll get a chance to pizz-ost this to-mizz-are-oh, so i'll just get it out here now... my super bizz-ole pre-dick-shee-on:

New England - 31
Philadelphia - 19

I've blown the last two... but i am going to be goddamn right this year... i can feel it.
"I'm a driver, i'm a winner..."
-cpb 2/5 {link}

Shit, mon... is it February already? Oh, how time flies when you're floating along. And on & on...
I've spent much of this year avoiding people & trying to justify to myself why i've not written to either Shan-O, one of my best friends, or Polio, who, as much as i hate to admit it, i've always liked conversing/hanging/exchanging with. They're both in Africa, doing the Peace Corps thing, & i don't think i've contacted either of them since they got there. I'm a bad person, what else can i say. These are two gentlemen who've both saved my life, at some point, in their own way, however i've not yet given them the courtesy of a, "Hey, how ya doin'... fag." But then again, that's my M.O. - always playing the dick. Well, actually, i'm not playing... i am a dick. And a bastard. And a cunt. But i'm not shallow... & i'm not a git. Never-the-less, before the week is over i will have sent them each an appropriate (for them) missive. I'll tell Polio to go fuck himself & me & i'll attempt to come up with some crazy ass shit to send to Shane.
Speaking of that treacherous cocksucker, i had him in mind while fumbling through this failed attempt at explaining what i was trying to accomplish with this story i'm working on for a Playboy writing contest. In addition to that nonsense, i also added a new list to my Opinion Page. It's a list of my favorite 70's album titles.
Oh, & by the way, happy Black History Month to all my black fans. And to all my overly PC fans, yes, this is a bit of a joke. Quite frankly, i have very few black friends... &, now that i think of it, i have very few overly PC friends as well. Selah.
-cpb 2/2 {link}

Alright, screw football predictions. And also, screw Cat. It's not like i said he was bootin' black tar heroin or anything. Ease up, dick. Uncle Orangey would not be impressed.

Two realizations/discoveries i've discovered/realized in the past 38 to 74 hours:

1) NPR uses tremendous music to segue between stories & such. I'm not sure if it is just one particular show, or at certain times, but i love it. This point made more sense when i was in the car. Anyway...
2) The "What's A Gagortion?" sketch in episode 3 (Rudy Will Await Your Foundation) of the 4th season of Mr. Show is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen... EVER.
-cpb 1/25 {link}

I'm still standing by the picks i made a few days ago. But i don't know why. This is going to be a great football day. The other day i heard on one of the sports talk shows in Detroit some guy talking about how much more he enjoyed this weekend as opposed to Super Bowl Sunday. Cos this weekend it's two great games, but there isn't the 8 hour preview & the weeklong buildup & interviews & all the extra shit that goes on for the Super Bowl. I totally agree. I think these two games are going to be great. I don't even really like any of the teams either. I really don't have any rooting interest. If i had to pick, i'd have to say i'm backing Pittsburgh, mostly since their Quarterback is from Findlay, which is just a few miles away from where i grew up. Plus the MAC connection, Roethlisberger playing at Miami (OH). I'd also like to see Vick in the Super Bowl. He exciting. I could go on, but blah, blah, blah... just watch the game... or don't... be a dick, fine - i don't care.
-cpb 1/23 {link}

I would like to take umbrage with some comments made by the owner of this site. I would also like to tell him to go play hide-&-go-fuck himself. So, yeah, I like to take a pill every once in a while. And I happen to like to watch the drain while said pill is swirling around in my person. Watching the drain makes me feel purple, okay? And yes, I happen to like to drink a few whiskey sours now & again. Or a box of wine. Or two. BFD. Like that lush has any right calling me out...
-Eli R. Duke 1/22 {link}

I'm starting to worry about Cat. Lately he's been totally obsessed with the drain in the bathtub. He's been getting into the tub, sitting down & just staring at the drain for hours on end. Just sitting there, transfixed. What makes it even odder is that Cat totally freaks out anytime you pick him up and walk even in the vicinity of the bathroom. He HATES it when i give him a bath, & just in general he hates getting wet at all. Even still, he'll jump right in after someone has taken a shower & just sit there & stare at the drain. I'm starting to worry that Eli might be doing drugs again, or, at the very least, drinking heavily. I mean, it's not just the tub thing. Last weekend he got piss-ass drunk at the Wrong Way Pub & started waving a huge hunting knife around, screaming, "I'll kill the next motherfucker who comes in here!" Crazy-ass fucking cat.
-cpb 1/21 {link}

Yeah, so i took a little time off. So sue me. You don't know where i live, anyway - so you can't. Except for the people who know where i live. And that list is getting shorter & shorter as i continue to let people in on the secret that i'm moving to Bolivia, which is a lie, of course. That all said, i guess i have some catching up to do.

The Christmas/New Years cheer time went pretty well, i guess. Spent a lot of time at the in-laws', who happen to have a few acres for Day-Z to run around on & a nice hot tub for me to soak my corns in. Or my corn. Anyway, it was a good time. Drove down to the ol' hometown to see my grandparents. Damn, they're old, but still droppin' it like it's hot. New Years Eve was the pinnacle of excitement. The wife had to work 8 to 8 on both the 31st & the 1st, so she came home & went to bed & i had to shake her around for a couple minutes so she could see the ball drop & then promptly pass out again. I just pretty much sat around fiddling with my little johnson & updating the copyright info on the various sites i oversee.

In Sporting News, my Bowl Picks, which started off pretty rocky, ended up not being too bad. I was 17-11, plus 3-1 in the BCS bowls, which of course should have been 4-0 (i don't know what the hell i was thinking picking Michigan to actually win a bowl game once). And on to the NFL Playoffs. I was going to post my predictions for the entire playoffs, but now i'm glad i never got around to it, cos they would have been worse than the college picks. Anyway, here's what's going to shake down in the final three games of the year:

Pittsburgh over New England, Atlanta over Philadelphia
Pittsburgh over Atlanta in the Super Duper Bowl.

In Music News, i finished up the BSAofEY for the 80's, including the 300 best studio albums of the 1980's. The best? Public Enemy's 1988 epic It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back, followed closely by that child-molesting jaggoff who once actually made great music. Number 300? Cosmic Thing by The B-52's, of course. Don't pretend like you don't dig it.

This, at press time, was all i could think of. Except for the fact that i just booked two tickets to Freeport for a little vacay in March. This is actually quite ridiculous, if you were to see our checkbook, but we're expecting quite a bit back from Uncle Sam this year, & what the hell else would we do with it? Pay bills? Ha! How pedestrian. I think i'd rather be in debt sitting on the beach in the Bahamas, than being a little closer to removing an inch of the 14 solid that various credit card companies are massaging my colon with at present.
-cpb 1/17 {link}

Not yet?
-cpb 1/1 {link}