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-----Original Message----- From: Lassey, Jason Sent: Tuesday, 5 April 2005 12:20 pm To: Team Leaders Subject:Suggestions for ANZAC Day Commemorations Dear Superiors As every good Australian is aware it is soon to be ANZAC Day. I for one am disappointed that there are no plans to commemorate this day in the manner which it so richly deserves. I am appalled that we would go all out to celebrate holidays of foreign origin (christmas, easter), but are strangely silent when it comes to the perpetration of the Australian legends who fought and died for the freedoms of those same foreigners who foisted their traditions and values upon the Australian culture. This multicultural travesty is shocking given that Telstra is the BIGGEST of big Australian Companies. I find it reprehensible and an incredible miscarriage of justice that thee brave men, women and various animals are not given the acknowledgement that they deserve. In all honesty, I think there are several ways Telstra staff could celebrate this most sacred of days. Firstly, by only authorising the eating of ANZAC biscuits on Telstra premises. All other foods could be banned for the day. Alternatively, staff should be made to consume rations similar to soldiers in the war - a hunk of dry mouldy bread, and contaminated water should lend to the authenticity of the event, and make staff appreciative of the hardships suffered by our troops during the war. Secondly, by issuing a declaration declaring the last working day prior to it as "slouch hat day" or something similar. Staff should be encourage to wear the army uniform worn by ANZAC troops in the first world war. People whose ancestors fought on the side of evil could be beaten senseless by those whose ancestors fought on the good side of the Force. Telstra should subsidise the purchase of camoflage gear and issue sidearms to team leaders. First Aiders/Fire Wardens should have to lead a donkey around for the day and only answer to "Simpson!". (unsure if animals are permitted on the premises) Thirdly, staff would benefit from staging their own ANZAC Day re-enactment. This should take the form of an invasion - Telstra staff from the Pirie Street Building should invade the Currie Street/Waymouth Street Offices. In true form, they could be lead by aristocratic officers (insert Team Leaders), in the dead of night (around 2am), and invade the wrong location (the tax office). Since no one likes the Tax Office anyway, no harm would be done. Either way they are commonwealth buildings. The map included shows possible attack routes for the re-enactment. 
Jason M. LasseyTester, Residential, Key & Corporate Testing Service Specialist, Commercial & Consumer Testing Telstra Service Advantage Adelaide | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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