| . |
| . |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| wardc.live.com.au |
 |
| Feeling a little bit ... NAUGHTY ?? (nudge nudge) ... then |
 |
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
| Y2K + 2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| MORE NEWS |
|
|
|
| Y2K + 3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Sept |
| Oct |
| Nov |
| Dec |
|
| 979FM interview with Sir Lee-Roy Merken III In a smorgasbord of WARD "C" action, Sir Lee-Roy Merken III plays no less than FIVE of his favourite Sanatorian tunes in honour of the live-to-air phone interview on his 979FM program "Support Your Local Rock Gods". In addition to showcasing the songs from Fourth Cumming - The Metro Gnome, If I Had a Sackful of Cats I'd See You in San Francisco and Date From Uranus - Sir Lee-Roy opens the show with Vaseline Dream from update and terminates the interview with This Song Has Only Got One Note from unsubtle innuendo. DOCTOR APOLLO had intended to quiz Sir Lee-Roy about the station's former call sign (3RIM) but forgets completely when Sir Lee-Roy amusingly declares MATRON X and DOCTOR APOLLO to be MEDIA SLUTS. |
| Wednesday July 2, Y2K + 3 |
| Streamer The Beagle plays If I Had a Sackful of Cats I'd See You in San Francisco on her 2RRR FM program "Streamer Never Sleeps". DOCTOR APOLLO and Streamer enter into an extended telephonic communication after DOCTOR APOLLO joins Streamer off-air for the last portion of her show. An interesting version of Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head is played, the success of which was solely reliant upon the filling of various glass recepticles with various presumably measured quan-titties of liquid, presumably water. DOCTOR APOLLO was reminded of earlier sonic experimentation using similar methods. Streamer has put a link in her MUST READ Beagle Diary to the URL of one of WARD "C"s entries in the ABC 1233 Newcastle Music Awards - her favourite If I Had a Sackful of Cats I'd See You in San Francisco. |
| Tuesday July 1, Y2K + 3 |
| SLUT SPREE IN NEWIE! In a most unexpected liberation for The Ladies, Kim Honan plays Bowling Club Sluts on her 2NUR FM program "Sound Source" just before 11:00pm. The Sluts are certainly mixing (interfering) with good company, squeezing themselves laciviously between the moist entertaining boys Gus & Frank and some AudioSlaves whom The Ladies are hopeful of Dominating in due course ... it just takes the right contact ... |
| WARD "C" receive a communication in their databank: THE WISE ONES decree that KEVIN BULL from 2CCC FM in Gosford is hereby and forthwith awarded a HIGH DICSTINCTION for: LISTING WARD "C" on the AMRAP WEBSITE and that KEVIN BULL is hereby and forthwith awarded a HIGH DICSTINCTION for: SLUT ENUNCIATION and TRANSMISSION |
| Thursday July 3, Y2K + 3 |
| Upon investigation of the AMRAP website it is revealed that Kevin Bull playlisted Bowling Club Sluts for June 16. This is the third time in little over a month that he has given The Sluts exactly what they need and only the second occasion that a High Dicstinction has been awarded for this partiular feat, the previous recipient being Kieran Wicks of 2NUR FM. |
| / |
 |
| ... such as the contact between DOCTOR APOLLO and Kim Honan, which resulted in the arrangement of a pre-recorded interview in the 2NUR FM studios the following Monday, July 7. It is anticipated the interview will go to air during the week in the lead up to the Research Semen-ahhh scheduled at the Star Hotel Clinic on Saturday July 26. Stay tuned for details. |
| UPCOMING 2NUR INTERVIEW JULY TBA |
| Friday July 4, Y2K + 3 |
ENTER HUNTER ENTERTAINMENT SERVICES! WARD "C" are honoured to announce an exciting new level of understanding between Planet Sanatorius and Planet Earth. HUNTER ENTERTAINMENT SERVICES are now accepting bookings for WARD "C". If you don't know who or what Hunter Entertainment Services is, we suggest you immediately click on their logo for instant gratification (you know you want it ...) WARD "C" recommend that all unrepresented Newcastle acts that suit their roster should contact them for appraisal. WARD "C" look forward to sharing a long and happy Experiment with Hunter Entertainment Services. |
 |
| UPCOMING 2NUR INTERVIEW JULY 17 |
| Tuesday July 8, Y2K + 3 |
| AMRAP NEWS THE WISE ONES instruct DOCTOR APOLLO to investigate the AMRAP website, as several HIGH DICSTINCTION performances are on display. The databank monitor reveals the following smorgasbord of activity: CRAIG LATHAM, 2MCE FM, Bathurst : Fourth Cumming listed @ #3 in his 'recommended listening' section for July. JOHN ROBINSON, BEAU FM, Beaudesert: The Metro Gnome listed @ #8 in his 'recommended listening' section for July. KEVIN BULL, 2CCC FM, Gosford: unsubtle innuendo listed @ #7 in his 'recommended listening' section for July. STREAMER THE BEAGLE, 2RRR FM, Gladesville: Fourth Cumming listed @ #10 in her 'recommended listening' section for July. visit THE AMRAP WEBSITE now! |
| WARD "C" receive the following communication in their databank: THE WISE ONES decree that STREAMER THE BEAGLE from 2RRR FM in Gladesville, KEVIN BULL from 2CCC FM in Gosford, JOHN ROBINSON from BEAU FM in Beaudesert and CRAIG LATHAM from 2MCE FM in Bathurst are hereby and forthwith awarded HIGH DICSTINCTIONs for: LISTING WARD "C" on the AMRAP WEBSITE |
| In a surprise last-minute change of plans THE WISE ONES reschedule the 2NUR FM pre-record with Kim Honan for Thursday July 17. The interview, however, is no longer going to be a pre-record - Sarah Farley is to receive The Sanatorians live in the studio @ 8:30pm. So prepare your computers for the utimate in Thursday night excitement and logon to http://www.stickybeak.com.au/cam3 for some Sanatorian stimulation. |
| Monday July 7, Y2K + 3 |
| Wednesday July 9, Y2K + 3 |
| A faint and truncated communication is received from Melbourne that Legman & Fluoro played a WARD "C" track on their 979FM (3RIM) program "Show Us Ya Indies", which airs on Wednesday nights from 10pm. It is unknown which track was played as The Sluts were interfering with the Knobs while we were trying to receive. |
| 'NEXT BIG THING' competition Some exciting news is stored in the Asylum Vocal Databank regarding the NEXT BIG THING competition that was recently held by Chartsong Productions ... stay tuned for details. |
| SEMEN-AHHH UNDER THREAT ! In hugely alarming and disappointing news, The Sluts are planning a mass break-out on July 26. MATRON X has been called in to supervise the potential frenzy anti-operation due to her excellent subordination techniques and will most likely not be able to make it to the Star Hotel Clinic in time for the Research Semen-ahhh. It is known that THE WISE ONES are working overtime in an attempt to enlist the help of the enigmatic and widely renowned Sanatorian MALETRON X as a possible replacement . Transfer will be attempted if galactic conditions are favourable. |
| Friday July 11, Y2K + 3 |
| Monday July 14, Y2K + 3 |
| LATEST RESEARCH RESULTS REVEALED !!! Introduction, the opening track from WARD "C"s forthcumming EP Oddity #5 is now available for auditory processing on our SONGS PAGE. It has been recorded in anticipation of ultimately being the opening track on our *HIGH BUDGET* and *EXTENSIVELY PROMOTED* debut album ... Check it out !!! |
| Introduction UPLOADED !! |
| LATEST SEMEN-AHHH NEWS As THE WISE ONES continue to negotiate frantically with MALETRON X, the line-up for Saturday July 26 has changed dramatically. The following information is taken directly from the website of Hunter Entertainment Services: Star Hotel Sat 26 July (Mick Jagger's Birthday) 8:00-late $7.00 entry The 'Star Radio' Double CD Launch Illergic MC Bass Dynamix with DJ Maniak, Quest, Rising Doubt, Bric a Brac and Special Guests WARD "C" |
| Tuesday July 15, Y2K + 3 |
| 'NEXT BIG THING' competition With confirmation arriving on the back of The Snail, WARD "C" are extremely honoured to announce that they received a TOP 10 placing from nearly 1000 entries in the NEXT BIG THING competition that was recently held by Chartsong Productions. |
 |
| Winners J3 have already received offers from labels, so WARD "C" wait with excitement to see what opportunities may arise as a result of this, their first ever success in an important song competition on Planet Earth. |
| Chartsong Productions is run by producer Stuart Stuart and his highly skilled associates. If you have no idea who Stuart Stuart is or what he does, click on the Chartsong logo to the right to discover exactly what this industrious, presumably Earth Creature gets up to. |
| WARD "C" TOP 10 placing NEXT BIG THING comp. |
 |
 |
| Wednesday July 16, Y2K + 3 |
| MALETRON X NEWS NEGOTIATIONS SUCCESSFUL THE WISE ONES store an audio communication in the Databank while The Asylum is unattended, informing WARD "C" that negotiations to secure MALETRON X have succeeded. They predict that galactic conditions should be suitable for transfer in a few days, leaving little time for any pre-Semen-ahhh experimentation ... |
| Thursday July 17, Y2K + 3 |
| Friday July 18, Y2K + 3 |
| Sunday July 20, Y2K + 3 |
| NEW PHOTOS !! Some webcam images of WARD "C"s 2NUR FM "Sound Source" interview on Thursday night with Sarah Farley which were diligently acquired by an Asylum associate are now available for inspection on the PHOTOS page ... what are you waiting for ?? |
| SLUT SPREE IN SYDNEY SUBURBIA !! Streamer the Beagle from 2RRR has again placated The Sluts by giving them some (what they consider) long overdue Sydney attention and releasing them on her 1am show "Streamer Never Sleeps". Streamer follows Bowling Club Sluts with a singalong to This Song Has Only Got One Note advising the audience that if the words were beyond them - at least the tune was easy to catch! WARD "C" heartily thank Streamer for her contribution - but, although their behaviour in general has shown some improvement, The Sluts continue to refuse to yield The Sign ... |
 |
| To enter the competition, head to http://www.uturn.net.au immediately and enter your essentials in the appropriate boxes ... |
 |
 |
| WARD "C" hope to work with Stuart and his team at a later date when THE WISE ONES have negotiated a suitable arrangement. |
| WARD "C" BRAG ACTION ! Once again WARD "C" find themselves in Sydney streetpress The Brag (issue #13) in Kevin Bull's The Lockup Garage section (page 20). Just a reminder to tune into 2CCC FM 96.3 shortly after 10:00pm tomorrow night if you happen to be within transmission range of The Sanatorian's and The Slut's favourite Gosford radio station. |
| Monday July 21, Y2K + 3 |
| SLUT ACTIVITY SUSPECTED ! An alarming new THE DOCTOR IS IN sign development is causing a degree of Asylum vexation. The sign, which was visible for a few days via the 2NUR FM webcam where DOCTOR APOLLO negligently left it on Thursday night near the studio clock, has now vanished. The Sluts are at the TOP of the suspect list. |
| The BRAG |
| UTURN BITS WARD "C" get several mentions in this week's UTURN (issue #33). Page 3 includes the lastest Asylum news in Bits & Pieces and also the promotional material to the left. On page 4 there are |
| details about a WARD "C" competition where three unsubtle innuendo CDs are up for grabs ... |
| WARD "C" receive the following communication in their databank: THE WISE ONES decree that CATHERINE HART from UTURN in Newcastle and KEVIN BULL from 2CCC FM in Gosford are hereby and forthwith awarded HIGH DICSTINCTIONs for: DISCERNING STREETPRESS CONTENT |
| 2CCC STUDIO INTERVIEW |
| 979 FM PHONE INTERVIEW |
| 2NUR STUDIO INTERVIEW |
| that KEVIN BULL from 2CCC FM in Gosford, SARAH FARLEY from 2NUR FM in Newcastle and SIR LEE-ROY MERKEN III from 979 FM in Melton are hereby and forthwith awarded HIGH DICSTINCTIONs for: EXCELLENCE in INTERVIEW TECHNIQUE |
| and that SIR LEE-ROY MERKEN III from 979 FM in Melton is hereby and forthwith awarded a HIGH DICSTINCTION for: TRANSMISSION OF SANATORIAN SONICS |
| WARD "C" 2CCC FM interview DOCTOR APOLLO, MATRON X and NURSE NASTY brave the perilous Track of Haste and make their way to the 2CCC studios in the heart of Gosford. Upon alighting from their earthbound conveyance the Sanatorians are struck by a strong Antarctic wind which is of sufficient intensity to loosen MATRON X's titties and shrink NURSE NASTY's codpiece. Kevin Bull introduces WARD "C" shortly after 10:00pm. During the interview Kevin is presented with several outstanding HIGH DICSTINCTIONs and issued a copy of Fourth Cumming, as instructed by THE WISE ONES. He responds by playing The Metro Gnome, If I Had a Sackful of Cats I'd See You in San Francisco and Date From Uranus to his loyal legion of "The Lockup Garage" listeners, effectively snapping Fourth Cumming's Central Coast hymen. |
| 2NUR STUDIO INTERVIEW with SARAH FARLEY WARD "C" TRIPLE PLAY !! Sarah Farley welcomes DOCTOR APOLLO, MATRON X and NURSE NASTY into the 2NUR studio just before 9pm. In line with Sanatorian safety protocol she places the blue surgical cap on her head which she discovers in her Sanatorian Giftpack. A preliminary off-air chat is followed by the "Sound Source" interview, during which all three songs from Fourth Cumming - which was also included in the Giftpack - are played. Sarah mentions that there have been a number of requests for WARD "C" recently which she has been unable to satisfy until now. Following the interview, DOCTOR APOLLO forgets to retrieve the very important THE DOCTOR IS IN sign from the studio wall (seen in webcam photos to the lower right of the clock). Its fate is uncertain ... |
 |
 |
| WARD "C" penetrate The Post's TE section !! |
| WARD "C" receive a communication in their databank: THE WISE ONES decree that JADE LAZAREVIC from THE POST in Newcastle is hereby and forthwith awarded a HIGH DICSTINCTION for: DISCERNING PRESS CONTENT |
| Friday July 25, Y2K + 3 |
| MALETRON X LATEST ... As previously reported, MATRON X is unable to be present at the Research Semen-ahhh this weekend due to the grossly inconsiderate activities of The Sluts. Although THE WISE ONES were successful in their endeavours to recruit the magnificent MALETRON X from Planet Sanatorius, galactic conditions will not be suitable for interplanetary transfer until tomorrow afternoon, leaving little time for Pre-Semen-ahhh (dis)orientation. WARD "C" apologise in advance to Semen-ahhh patrons for any experimentation or procedures that may go awry. |
| Saturday July 26, Y2K + 3 |
| STAR SEMEN-AHHH Streamer the Beagle arrives at the Research Semen-ahhh bearing a smorgasbord of ginger delights for the hungry Sanatorians. The showpiece however is a kennel-made ginger and DATE cake. NURSE NASTY predictably displays a persistent date preoccupation. The now re-transferred MALETRON X was an outstanding replacement for the absent MATRON X and we hope he can return to Planet Earth again if required. In a performance shortened by THE WISE ONES the Sanatorians presented: Vaseline Dream The Crystal Mat cybersex_69 Her Royale Thighness Bowling Club Sluts |
| SLUTS OUT AGAIN !! Kevin Bull again plays Bowling Club Sluts on his 2CCC FM program "The Lock-up Garage". Presumably this is to satisfy The Ladies who will have to take a back seat when some new Sanatorian tunes arrive in Gosford next Wednesday evening. |
| Monday July 28, Y2K + 3 |
| Craig Latham plays The Metro Gnome on his 2MCE FM program "Nothing Happening" which transmits from the university campus at Bathurst. |
| Tuesday July 29, Y2K + 3 |
| WARD "C" infiltrate the NSW south coast! John Lacey plays If I Had a Sackful of Cats I'd See You in San Francisco on his 2UUU FM program "Whatever You Want" which airs between 4:00 and 6:00pm from Nowra. 2UUU FM transmits @ 104.5 MHz. |
| Wednesday July 30, Y2K + 3 |
| WARD "C" live review in UTURN Kirri Liepins gives a fascinating account of the June 14 ARSE in this weeks edition (#34) of UTURN streetpress. Check out the beautifully scanned article by clicking HERE! |
| Jenny Milich plays This Song Has Only Got One Note on her weekly 2REM FM program "Oz Box" which transmits from Albury-Wodonga on the NSW - Victorian border from 8:00 - 10:00 pm. |
| Wednesday July 23, Y2K + 3 |
| Thursday July 24, Y2K + 3 |
| update action on 2RRR! In a blast from the past, Streamer The Beagle plays two tracks from update on her 2RRR FM program "Streamer Never Sleeps" which airs between 1:00 and 3:00am. Those lucky individuals who are tuned into 88.5 MHz in Sydney are treated to Vaseline Dream and Her Royale Thighness. |
| WARD "C" receive a communication in their databank: THE WISE ONES decree that KIRRI LIEPINS from UTURN in Newcastle is hereby and forthwith awarded a HIGH DICSTINCTION for: OUTSTANDING LIVE REVIEW in a STREETPRESS PUBLICATION |
| Thursday July 31, Y2K + 3 |
