Sometimes I enjoy going back and reading my old columns. Iit always is interesting to see how my mind was working two years ago...or sometimes even two months ago. When I looked back this time, I realized how much some things have changed. Seems like it is time for an update. Oh, I got a little link happy:
My Current 5 Friends Freebies:
1) Keira Knightley
2) Katie Holmes
3) Jenny Lewis
4) Scarlett Johansson
5) Vanessa Marcil
Yeah, I acknowledge my taste is a little inconsistent, but it is mine and I'm keeping it.
I have cast the movie of my life a couple of different times (1, 2) before, but I am always meeting new people. Here are a few of the performers who would be playing some of my friends in The Story of Glenn:
Hari - Jimi Mistry (I know you hate Indians, but this guy is cool)
Alex - Adam Brody
Mary-Margaret - Tina Fey (in a blonde wig)
Luke - Jason Statham
Lindsay - Ludivine Sagnier
Jill - Sarah Chalke
2-3-04 - 2003 Movie Awards (Updated)
1-29-04 - 2003 Movie Spectacular (Updated)
1-28-04 - A Year Remembered
1-27-04 - Chien's Guest Column
1-25-04 - Bed Buddy Thoughts
1-15-04 - Date Application Page
Archives
1) "Temporary" - The Tah-Dahs
2) "Action" - Razorlight
3) "Wonderwall"- Ryan Adams
4) "Bar Room Hero" - The Dropkick Murphys
5) "Rubber Band Man" - T.I.
6) "Eve of Destruction"- Bishop Allen
7) "Take Me Out" - Franz Ferdinand
8) "Assassinator 13" - Chikinki
9) "The Lonely"- British Sea Power
10) "Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
Liz - Claire Danes
Rob - Rick Schroder
Cell phone roulette still exists, although the beautiful purity that it once was has now been corrupted. The game affected many of us...a good number of us don't even bother saving dangerous numbers in our cell phones any more. Lately, we have taken to choosing what people we are dialing on each other's phones. For example, last weekend we continually had Jeff call the girl who Hari brought to our first party...you know, the one who threw up all over Jeff's room? When that got old, we called a number we found on the bathroom wall. Sad what passes for fun these days.
Gaynster club is about to reconvene in this weekend...La Strada brunch, here we come.
Overrated:
1) Master and Commader: Far Side of the World
2) Norah Jones
3) Playmakers
Underrated:
1) Big Fish
2) Michigan St.'s tournament chances
3) The comedy of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge
Amazing Tales From Elementary School
One of my favorite old features of this column was Amazing Tales. In the story I link to above, I tell how my friend and I were dating the same girl at the same time...the story is about how we break up with her simultaneously, but that is not the point. We allowed this girl to date two...three...four...as many as FIVE guys at the same time. We were all p-whipped before we knew what the "p" stood for. I want to blame the girl for taking advantage of us, or for at least for not being strong enough to make up her mind, but how can I? Who wouldn't set up their own harem if they could?
I wasn't always such a loser around the ladies though. The following year, I had the proudest moment of my studly young life. One Saturday, two friends and I went up to the elementary school to play on the playground. This was in the late eighties, before "safety" regulations were all of the rage, so all of the playground equipment was made of wood. As I was practicing the obstacle course for the upcoming field day, one of my friends began laughing hysterically, and yelled for me to come over to the area by the slide. On the wall was carved "Glenn and Jaron are sooooo hot!!!!" I can't tell you how proud I was...let me guarantee that there were exactly five O's in that so. Unfortunately, I never found out who carved the message, so I couldn't cash in. Even worse, they replaced the wooden playground with new, state-of-the-art, plastic equipment a few years later. The legend of Glenn has now been erased.
Nothing more can be written about the excellence of the "wingman" concept. Everyone knows it, everyone loves it, etc. The new commercial showing off the "wingdog" could not be more true...I was approached by more and better looking women over the couple of weeks that I had my puppy than at any other point in my life (still don't want me to get a house dog, guys?)
I typed 'glenng79' into Google today to see if my website came up. It did, but not directly like I assumed it would. Instead, the two sites that came up were links to my site from the search engine 4ask.com. One was a search for 'Avril Lavigne topless' that linked to my September 15, 2002 page. The other was a search for 'voyeur masturbation' that linked to Kevin's guest column of July 5, 2002. Check it out...