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rww: PSI ON 'DINNER AND A MOVIE'

(The scene opens up with the intro to Dinner and a Movie on TBS. After it is finished we find ourselves looking at the set of the show. The announcer introduces the hosts for the show-former WCW stars Goldberg and Sting. The two wrestlers then enter the shot. Sting looks completely unhappy to be on the show, while Goldberg simply looks intensely at the camera.)

STING-(In a monotone, uninterested voice)
"Thank you for watching Dinner and a Movie. As always, I am Sting-former WCW wrestler forced to work for Ted Turner until my Time Warner contract expires. And with me as always is Goldberg."

GOLDBERG-(Yelling)
"YOU'RE NEXT!"

STING-
"Yeah, whatever. And with us once again is The Undead Corpse of Ric Flair."

(The camera pans to the left a bit to show Ric Flair lying face down on the kitchen table. We see the cameraman kick Flair's leg and he looks up.)

RIC FLAIR-(Somewhat out of breath and barely audible)
"Wooo!"

(The camera swings back to show Sting and Goldberg.)

STING-
"Uh huh. Well, once again this week we are going to be cooking Cornflakes because that's all we really know how to make. (Sting motions for the camera to come in closer and he whispers to the audience at home.) Besides, they won't let Bill use the stove."

(The camera cuts back to Flair.)

RIC FLAIR-
(In a very raspy voice)
"Wooo!"

(Goldberg grabs a frying pan and uses it to smack Flair in the head with a lot of force. The camera cuts back to Sting.)

STING-
"Psycho. Anyway, this week we will be watching 'Cliffhanger' starring Sylvester Stallone.... again. (Sighs.) And our special guest this week is RWW superstars Scott Hellings and PSI-Mr. Style Jay Zee, MC Tommy Dee and Damon Gest."

(The four men walk into the shot. MC Tommy Dee is obviously a bit apprhensive towards Goldberg. He, like Jay is wearing his tag title around his waist. Hellings, as always, has his Intercontinental title over his shoulder.)

GOLDBERG-(Shouting and pointing to the foursome)
"YOU'RE NEXT!"

(MC Tommy Dee yelps and leaps into the arms of Jay.)

MR. STYLE-(Smiling and nodding)
"Do you have any idea how many women have done that to me before?"

STING-
"Thank you for being on the show. Wow, it must be nice to be wrestling."

HELLINGS-
"Yeah. Hey, why aren't you in a ring instead of being here?"

STING-
"I haven't been given a buyout from any of the major federations. So, Ted Turner figured that since I was under contract I might as well be doing something for him."

HELLINGS-
"I am so sorry. I would much rather have you in RWW than those Renegade losers."

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Yeah, those guys could use a Stinger Splash or two, if you know what I mean!"

MR. STYLE-
"Are you coming on to Sting?"

DAMON GEST-
"Yeah, those guys are a bunch of suckatrons!"

STING-
"Well I'd love to help you out, but I'm stuck here. Actually, I'm not the only one in this mess. Dustin Rhodes and Jeff Jarrett are playing The Duke Boys in TBS' new series 'Dukes of Hazzard 2001.' "

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Really?"

STING-
"Yeah and Bam Bam Bigelow is Boss Hog. They're filming right now in Studio 4C."

MC TOMMY DEE-
"DUDE! I SO have to see this!"

(MC Tommy Dee runs out of the room to go watch 'The Dukes of Hazzard 2001.' Mr. Style sits down at the table with Ric Flair, fascinated.)

MR. STYLE-
"Uh......is he still alive?"

STING-
"Don't know. We're actually amazed that he has been around this long."

(Mr. Style picks up a spatula and pokes Flair with it. Flair looks up at the camera.)

RIC FLAIR-
"Wooo!"

STING-
"Well before we start the film, let's make our Cornflakes. Scott?"

HELLINGS-
"First take the Cornflakes and pour them into a bowl. Then, uh...just take some milk and pour it in and serve."

STING-
"If you want a copy of our recipee please send $75 to TBS."

HELLINGS-
"Well that sucked. Can we watch the film now?"

STING-
"Whatever."

GOLDBERG-
"IT'S NEXT!"

(The films starts up and after a half an hour we are once again watching the group inside the kitchen. The camera shows Damon Gest looking around the counters.)

DAMON GEST-(Picks up a coffee maker)
"Dude-icus! A Dcaffmaster coffee maker! These things really get around."

(The camera cuts back to Jay and Flair at the table.)

MR. STYLE-
"Hey watch this! (Jay clears his throat.) Nature Boy!"

RIC FLAIR-(Looks up)
"Wooo!"

MR. STYLE-
"Nature Boy!"

RIC FLAIR-(looks up again)
"Wooo!"

MR. STYLE-
"Nature Boy!"

RIC FLAIR-(barely manages to look up one more time)
"Wooo.........(trails off as his face collapses onto the table again.)

MR. STYLE-
"Man, isn't that great?"

HELLINGS-
"It's kinda like Pavlov and his dog."

MR. STYLE-
"I just can't believe we've actually managed to find someone more out of it than Scott Hall!"

(The camera cuts back to Hellings, Sting, Damon and Goldberg.)

HELLINGS-
"Wow! Someone call 'Ripley's' !"

STING-(Obviously not getting the joke)
"Oh yeah, that's on after us. Dean Cain is hosting it with Scott Steiner."

DAMON GEST-(With a look of disgust on his face.)
"That' s crap-erific!"

GOLDBERG-
"It's next!"

STING-
"Uh huh. Well anyways, Scott how do you feel about the UWF invading the RWW?"

HELLINGS-
"You know, it's kinda like 'Cliffhanger'here. The RWW superstars are kinda like Stallone. We have to battle the bad guys and save the day."

DAMON GEST-
"Yeah, except we aren't doing in on a mountain-itis!"

STING-
"Uh huh, sure. Well, we're gonna go to a commercial and then we are going to watch some more of 'Cliffhanger.' Unfortunately."

(TBS goes to a commercial and then shows another hour of the film. The camera comes back on as it pans across the room. Mr. Style is asleep at the kitchen table next to Ric Flair who is still passed out. Damon is busy eating the Cornflakes. Goldberg is standing to the left of Sting and Hellings. Goldberg is eating the box of Cornflakes. The camera comes to a stop on The Boy and Sting.)

STING-(Sighs)
"Welcome back to Dinner and A Movie. I'm Sting and this (motioning to Hellings) is RWW Intercontinental champion Scott 'The Boy' Hellings. (Hellings waves to the camera.) Scott, please tell us what we can expect from your match against The Abyss on this week's Friday Fire."

HELLINGS-
"Well, Stinger, it's like this. I am the greatest IC champ in RWW history and it really doesn't matter who I face. Why, I could even face you, Sting. And believe me, I could destroy you!"

STING-(A little upset)
"Oh yeah? Right now! You against me, tough guy!"

DAMON GEST-
"But what about the end of the movie-palooza?"

STING-(Yelling back at Damon)
"It's TBS dammit! No one will care, it will be back on in another hour anyway!!"

DAMON GEST-
"Suckasaurus! I wanted to see the ending!"

(Hellings shrugs his shoulders and he jumps Sting. Hellings is lying on top of Sting and pounding away at him. The camera cuts to show the kitchen table while the second cameraman gets into a better position of the brawl. We can see Damon Gest and Mr. Style cheering on Hellings. Jay picks up Ric Flair by his hair with one hand and with the other opens and closes his mouth to mime Flair speaking.)

MR. STYLE AS RIC FLAIR-(In a whiny voice)
"Go Scotty!"

(The camera cuts back to Hellings and Sting. Sting is now at the advantage and is actually about to apply the Scorpion Deathlock. All of a sudden the camera cuts back to Flair who actually gets up from the table and walks over to Sting and Hellings. Jay and Damon can't believe it. Flair punches Sting in the back of the head and then bodyslams him onto the ground.)

RIC FLAIR-
"Wooo!!"

(Before Ric Flair can celebrate any further Goldberg looks over and spears him right into the fridge. Flair is out of it-again. Goldberg continues to pound away at Flair before we can see a couple of crew members come over and attack with some stun guns. Goldberg finally goes down. The camera cuts back to Hellings, Damon Gest and Mr. Style. MC Tommy Dee comes in through the door, laughing.)

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Guys, you SO have to go to studio 4C and......what the hell happened here?"

HELLINGS-
"Sting jumped me."

MC TOMMY DEE-
"He didn't pull a Killer Instinct on you and grab your belt did he?"

HELLINGS-
"No...(MC Tommy Dee reaches out to touch Hellings' belt to see if it is okay. The Boy flinches back and yells) DON'T TOUCH MY BELT!!"

MR. STYLE-
"Man this sucks! Let's get out of here."

DAMON GEST-
"Agreed."

(The four walk out of the room as the camera follows them. They happen to take a wrong turn and end up in a different studio where they are taping a show of 'Ripley's Believe it Or Not')

DEAN CAIN-
"Hi and welcome to 'Ripley's.' I'm Dean Cain and with me is Scott Steiner."

SCOTT STEINER-(Shouting)
"I'm Big Poppa Pump!!!"

DEAN CAIN-
"Whatever. This week we have a special treat for you...."

SCOTT STEINER-(Cutting Dean off)
"That's right! We actually found a dog-faced gremlin!"

(Rick Steiner comes into the shot and barks a few times.)

DEAN CAIN-
"I hate my life."

(The camera cuts back to show PSI. They are all laughing.)

HELLINGS-
"This place is depressing.....and kinda creepy. Let's get out of here!"

(As the four men walk off we can hear them talking.)

MR. STYLE-
"Man did you see the size of Flair's flabby man breasts?"

(They all burst out laughing. Fade to black.)

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