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new: BON APPE-DEFEAT

(The scene opens up inside a fancy restaurant. The camera moves back and forth between the empty tables as soft orchestral music can be heard in the background. Suddenly the camera stops on a man wearing a black tuxedo. The camera slowly pans up to reveal it is none other than Scott "The Boy" Hellings, posing as a waiter. He has a smirk on his face and is holding a menu in his hand.)

HELLINGS-
"Good evening. My name is Scott Hellings, but some know me as The Boy. I will be your host for the evening, so consider yourself lucky. After all, you are blessed with the presence of THE Canadian Legend! Consider yourself lucky I'm here too, because tonight's guest of honour is none other than my opponent at No Limits, Mike Phoenix. When the guest is so mediocre, the host better be pretty darn amazing. Fortunately for you, I wrote the freakin' book on amazing. But I could talk all day about how great I am, but I suppose that instead I should inform you about today's specials. Today I am pleased to offer you, Mike Phoenix, the house specialty: your words. Sadly there are no other meal choices tonight so I am therefore going to MAKE you eat your words. I don't know if it will fit, because I know you still have that foot of yours wedged nicely into your mouth, but we'll see what we can do. You see you made a grave mistake at BloodZone when you insulted me. I was not even a concern for you, but you had to stick your nose into my business. And now I am going to make you CHOKE on your own words.

You know I wonder why it is that people around here feel the need to make me their enemy when I have opted to ignore them? First Rob Gamble is content to back me into a corner and force me to be his enemy when I said from the beginning that I could not be bothered to conspire with him. Now, Mike Phoenix, now you want to make me your enemy. Not a wise move. Rob Gamble tried to send his crony Kevin...what's his name again? Kevin Cosmopolitan? Whatever. Anyway, he first Gamble sent his crony after me and then forced me into a match with Kevin Cosmonaut and BOTH TIMES I ended up on top. The two of them tried to take me out and failed, and so will you Mikey. I cannot believe that you DARED to insult me! Who do you think you are? Oh, wait a minute" I remember who you are now! You're the guy who ISN'T going on in the Primetime contendership tournament! I'm really sorry about that, really I am. Seriously, I am. Would I lie to you? Probably, but that isn't the point here. I truly do feel badly that I had to cost you that match. No, I don't feel bad about making you lose, I feel bad that I had to involve myself in such a dreadfully boring match to begin with! But, then again, you forced my hand when you disrespected me. You see, they may call me The Boy, but there is no doubt that I am The Man! But you? You're nothing."

(The Boy walks off to the side, the camera following him. He walks over to the lobster tank and crouches down to look at it, the camera on the opposite side as he watches the lobsters move about the tank.)

HELLINGS-
"You know this tank somewhat signifies you Mike Phoenix. No, really. You see when you go to a fancy restaurant and you order lobster, you get to pick the lobster you want to eat. It's the same thing going on here. You are just like all the others around here, swimming around in that tank for me to pick and choose which one I want to take out first. And I'll be honest with you Mikey, you were not my first choice. No one ever picks the lobster that's floating at the top or is a day or two away from a date with the toilet. But you got my attention now and I guess you're going to have to be my next victim. Do you really know what you got yourself into? Because in case you weren't aware, I have slayed some giants in this industry. It's like I say, I've beaten the best and now I'm here to beat all the rest! Mike Phoenix you are not all an elite member of the NEW/RWW roster. I guess that's maybe why you made the foolish choice of lipping me off last week; you wanted to get noticed one way or the other. I understand that, or at least I think I do. I mean, I can't exactly empathize per se, because we all know that I am The Boy and that means I am The Best!

But I have met-and beat-a lot of people with your plight. You're an insignificant type of guy looking to get noticed. I guess it is true when they say that attention-seeking behaviour is usually negative in nature. Because, believe me, if you think you're walking away from this thing with your arm raised by the referee then you are sadly mistaken. I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it! Yes Mike Phoenix, you are the type of guy who gets the table in the back corner of the restaurant near the kitchen, away from everyone else so as not to make the elite customers lose their appetites. People like me, on the other hand, are up front, prominently on display for all to gaze upon my amazing, chiseled physique and good looks. But that's okay, because once I'm done with you, you won't be sitting by the kitchen, you'll be forced to work in it to earn a living! Yes indeed we are like two completely different people, aren't we? When it comes to you, you're more like fast food: you're sloppy and not really good, nobody really likes you, but sometimes when you're desperate it's the only way to go, but it will always leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Now contrast that with me: I'm well-liked and definitely worth the price of admission! Plus, with me there is no surprises because you always know that you're gonna get quality!"

(The Boy then walks over to a table where an indeterminate, unappetizing piece of meat sits on a plate. The Boy sits down and scours at the meat, poking at it with a fork).

HELLINGS-
"Surprises suck, don't they? No one likes mystery meat because you really don't know what it is. This past week brought us all another unwelcome surprise-the return of Mercy. I don't know how or why he managed to get in there, but I hope for his sake he doesn't come back. You know, I don't recall seeing Mercy's name on the list of reservations. Who invited you anyway? It certainly wasn't me! What a pathetic (making quotation marks with his fingers) 'gift' for all the fans of NEW/RWW. First we get the return of Lancelot and now Mercy? Seriously, who broke out the Necronomicon and started bringing these geezers back from the dead? Well I know that all my fans, all The Boy Scouts out there were not impressed.

You know this place just gets more and more pathetic. I'm the one and ONLY UBERstar! I should be given tougher opponents, harder challenges to face. Mercy? I think I've beat that guy 3,247 times already! I am not afraid of Mercy, it's just that I don't want him taking up valuable television time that should be devoted to better, younger stars such as, well, myself. I tell you folks, Mercy isn't worthy to scrub the dishes in this place. He's old, he's a has-been and he just doesn't even come close to the level of skill that someone such as myself is capable of. Personally speaking I think you've been here long enough Mercy, I think you're ready for the bill. Wrestling isn't a buffet; you can't keep going back for seconds and thirds. Face it, your career is over. Why are you here anyway? Do you really care about the RWW name? Is that it? Why? Rob Gamble screwed you over more than anyone else and, guess what, he owns the entity known as Rampage World Wrestling. You people need to understand that RWW has always and will always be Rob Gamble's vision and if you fight to maintain the RWW name, you're really just handling his fights for him. The fact is that RWW embodies nothing but Rob Gamble's vision and ideals, so people like Stupac are really fighting for and against Rob simultaneously. Don't make that same mistake Mercy. Are you for me? Why? I've already beat you enough times that you should know I can take you out (The Boy walks through the kitchen door and picks up a bag of garbage) like yesterday's garbage."

(The Boy opens up the back door and walks out into a dimly lit alley. He tosses the garbage into a nearby dumpster.)

HELLINGS-
"You see I'm a firm believer in tossing out things that are stale, the day-olds if you will. Well I don't think anyone is more stale than Mercy. I'm gonna be nice and, as a favour for old acquaintance-and because you're probably too senile to realize this on your own anyway-I'm gonna offer you some advice Mercy. You ready? Don't get in my way. There are enough people around here trying to make names for themselves by taking me on. Just look at Mike Phoenix, he thought he could trash me and now I'm gonna destroy him. I'm going to give him a three-course beating with a side of humiliation! You should know as well anyone what I am capable of in that ring Mercy, so make sure you steer clear of me.

After all, you don't have much time left, so I would suggest that you enjoy the end of your days and not waste them by getting beat by me over and over again. It's simply not worth your time, and it's definitely not worth mine! I am the marquee player, the franchise saviour, and the number one money maker and I can't be bothered with a joke like you. Besides, I'm confident that before long you're little return will have failed miserably and you'll be forced to hang out in alleys like this, begging for scraps to eat. I am an impact player around here, and I shouldn't have to worry about monkeys like you. I'm THE Canadian Legend dammit! People pay their money to see talent like ME! When I'm on television, the Nielsen ratings shoot through the roof! What can I say? I'm like the Nielsen's favourite son! But you? No one wants to see you though. So try to keep a low profile because it would be in everyone's best interest, trust me."

(The Boy turns around and heads back inside. He stops and turns around to face the camera one last time.)

HELLINGS-
"As for you Mike Phoenix? Get prepared to eat your last meal. You should never have got in my way, but there is no turning back. I will make sure you get your just desserts and I will annihilate you! Why? Because I want to, because I can!"

(The Boy then walks inside and slams the door behind him as the scene fades to black.)

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