| I need more than a thesaurus� 5 May 04 *laughs* Oh dear, someone�s been a lamea** boy! *laughs* I was about to watch the Sex and the City tape that I taped two nights ago so I had the TV on while I brushed my hair and loiter around in my room for a bit to clean this and that. I finish doing so and returned to the lounge room. I had left my phone there and so did my sister (she recently bought a new phone). So anyway, I return to the room, about to sit down, when I hear my sister�s husband (I refuse to call him my brother-in-law) saying something-a-rather but it took a few seconds to figure out that he was trying to have a sarcastic conversation with my sister in the dining room, intending me to hear. I know this because there was nothing on the TV they were watching about phones and the convo came from nowhere. lol. What he said went something like this (in a sarcastic and slow tone with his fobby accent): To my sister: �Oh did you get a new phone?� Sister: �Yeah.� Him: �Oh wow... I only make a thousand dollars a week so I can�t afford that... Wow that�s nice... I wish I could afford a phone like that... Yeah... Wow�� *laughs* Oh man, he�s the epitome of loser and all it�s associations! Crack me up! *laughs* Those were the last things I heard before I shut the tele off and started typing this out so I wouldn�t forget. Even after I turned the tele off, he was still going but I was laughing so hard inside that all I heard was myself laughing inside! lol. I should have recorded it, and then I could have shared it. Tsk tsk tsk. It�s just that I�ve never known or met anyone so� what is that word� I�m going to stick with loser-ish right now. He and my sister left shortly after for a drive or something. Must have been pissed. lol. So the lack of blogging has been as slack as they come these days but I swear if I could blog every time I wanted to, I wouldn�t be feeling this bad. Keeping all that stuff inside is a terrible habit. Yuk! But did I mention how crazy last month/holidays were?! It was overwhelming and exhilarating at the same time� I wanna do it again! =D The constant activities were the driving force behind my now wanting to do my school work and the alike. I don�t wanna curse myself more than I already am so I�ll just leave it at that. lol. I attended the Garden and Flower show last week � alone mind you � and apart from the fact that I didn�t get to have a conversation for the entire day until I bought a mother�s day gift and stumbled for a while to get my words and thoughts to match, *takes a deep breath* I had a really fab day. Flowers and garden stuff that I didn�t know about [and still don�t quite know about], innovative garden and household products, and tranquillising garden displays were aided by my horrifically aching arms (a sacrifice I made to carry the gorgeous air plant I bought for my mum), the almost permanent arch of my feet (*sneer* boots), and the failing of well structured sentences that I mentioned above. I want to attend the Sydney Mind Body Spirit Festival this weekend but I�m going to have to pass this up for the Sydney Home Show next weekend. Getting a bit crowded with events these days! But there�s so much happening I wish I can split myself into these various directions to experience them all. There�s this guy who takes the T-Way bus like I do (although it�s only Wednesday�s for me) and we�re usually the only one�s who wait at that stop for the bus at that time. I mostly arrive at the stop earlier than he does and I think almost every time he�s late for the bus. So he comes running from the corner, adjacent to the bus and runs his a** off (no pun intended!) to the stop before he misses it. I always try to stall for a bit of time so that he wouldn�t miss it (I�m genuinely this nice okay!). But the fact that I see him running against the bus towards the bus stop just tickles my funny bone. :-� It�s like watching a sports game where some fans emit an ardent expression on their face for their team to win. Heh. The guy probably wishes he could split himself up in various directions too so perhaps he could catch the bus on time. lol. Looks like it�s too far gone 23 May 04 Not quite sure where to start really� hm. Let�s see: ABM�s comedic adventures, a gripe about a long time close friend (who shall be named Anon), kickin� ass Angel, and my planned-to-be 18th Birthday party� I pick the second one for now and I�ll get through the others a bit later. lol. I received a call this morning from a friend who I�ve known for almost a decade and haven�t seen or spoken to for about a month. The call was asking for a bit of information here and there. One of which mentioned Anon was going to see a movie. If whom I think Anon is going with is true, I expected to be asked if I wanted to go (as common courtesy), since I gave Anon the heads up on the latest movies that are out. Whether I would have gone or not is not the issue. I feel used for a little too long. I don�t feel appreciated by this person. Maybe I�m asking for too much. Maybe I don�t give as much as I think I do. Now I don�t mind being called upon for info and such but I do mind it if I haven�t seen or spoken to the person for a long time and get asked for info without some common (although most �common� things aren�t that common to some) courtesy of perhaps showing they care more than the word 'thanks' does. Anon carries a lot of the characteristics I don�t like and don�t consider myself to have as much: bluntness, condescendence, arrogance, to talk over others rather than listen, jealousy and free throwing insults. I suppose because we�ve been friends for so long, the idea that we use each other for info probably isn�t even on the radar� I must be too emotional today! Ugh� �I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point.� � Buffy, BtVS 5x22 25 May 04 I got fairly emotional a few times today. Yesterday it was being told by a friend that he �escaped� death or injury three nights ago when he smashed into a pole to avoid a car-to-car collision. Today a friend told me the tumour she has is more serious than first thought and was informed of this not three days ago. �I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point.� I feel as though I can relate a smidget to both friends. Their reactions. Their questions, perceptions and feelings. I want to aid them when they ask for it. I�m attempting to give advice and aid and direction, but apart from what I�ve learnt from my personal experiences (which after-all are the closest lessons you can ever learn from than any book or study can give you), there really isn�t much else I can give. What else can one give? There must be more though. I feel it on the tip of my tongue� Where is it? What is it? How can it be obtained? Why can�t it be obtained? It reeks of disappointment and distress and frustration and bloody annoyance when (and I�m going to blame this on tPTB in place of any �god�) you have to do so much to have your preferred life, a good one, a content one. But we don�t know why these things happen. In the lips of Anya, BtVS 5x16, �It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid.� Something I�ve noticed from the two friends is that I could see and/or hear right through facades of �I�m fine� or �nothing�s wrong�. I never considered myself to be so perceptive to people [I guess you could say]. I was always [as it would seem to others] disagreeing with people but an agreeance would appear just as much. To me I was simply looking at the situation in a different POV or have a differing opinion where coincidentally it opposes others. Doesn�t mean I do it on purpose as one has insinuated before. Not to get too off-track, they both asked how or what made me think that they were hiding behind the �everything�s fine� human isolation line (not in those words though heh). It was to my surprise that one of them didn�t reveal anything until we ended up talking about what made me go on Pathways and found out I was right, something was wrong (oh boy I�m on fire! � �right� and �wrong� in the same sentence � don�t they cancel each other out?!). Perhaps I�ve got a bit of clairvoyance in me yet! I wonder how else this may assist me� |
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