| 2 Mar 03 I�ve forgotten just how many movies I�ve seen which I thought were fantastic in every way. I just finished watching Now and Then again and wow, I mean really, wow! I love that movie, I reckon I�ve even watched it more times than Sister Act (which was also one of my big faves). Their lives seemed much less complicated than the life I live today� but it�s a movie, which is the bad thing about it. One can only dream huh?! *sigh* Devon Sawa is still incredibly hott in the movie though, so I guess that�s one of the [many] good points about the film. lol. It�s funny �cause the four main chicks in the movie are really quite different from one another and you wouldn�t expect them four to ever get together as close friends. They remind me of my group of friends and I. I think I can make all four correspond with four people in my group. It�s so weird, but cool; cool to be less conformed. Then this whole thing is getting me thinkin� about who I�ve been enemies with, who I�ve been mean to, been oblivious to, been an a**-monkey too and who I�ve actually put my guard down for� I use to be such a social addict that everything, which came out of my mouth, made sense and could easily be understood as well as welcomed. I remember when I was needed and wanted by so many people, that I often resorted to neglecting a few in order to straighten out the other issues at hand. It�s unfamiliar to me now� outside of school the amount of activity in my social life is almost all gone. I�ve been trying to figure out why ya know, what went wrong, and I can assure you that it�s not because of a few damn accidents of last year that stopped the flow of things. I�m just annoyed now. Bloody annoyed. But through all this thinking, it occurred to me that it was after I came back from Laos and Thailand that my speech and way of thinking and all got jumbled up. I�m not sure if it was because I barely got to speak fluent English while I was there, or if it was because I went through what my parents use to go through when they were still living there and what everyone else is still going through from living there. It wasn�t exactly �pretty� seeing it all� I wasn�t even there on hols for that long and it almost seemed like forever since I spoke English and all� I came back and it felt so different. I couldn�t word things together as well as I use to be able to. It really was jumbled and was evidently seen in my English work, especially the exams. That was all back in April 2000 BTW. Unfortunately the seemingly unimportant events of 2000 took its toll last year and probably this year too. I�m in my final year of High school and this is what I�ve got to make my last year all the more worth while. Sheesh! What am I going to do�! *shakes head* 6 Mar 03 Haven�t been actively working on the site lately but it�s just that I�m trying to work out some problems I have with my ISP ATM. I wanna change back to BigPond but my application wasn�t accepted (as I found out today) because I entered my signup name wrong on the online app. I tried to get it fixed up today but like I had to get an authorisation from my mum (which is the title holder for our Telstra account) and my mum ain�t here ATM so yeah� tomorrow. Anyways, I just jotted down some notes on what�s been happening lately because I hadn�t the time to type �em all up and such so yeah, I�ll start with Tuesday the 4th. Okay so I was staying up to watch and tape Angel right, then my sis comes out and looked out of our living room window. I, of course, thought she might have gone paranoid about whatever-a-rather and so I asked her, what�s with the looking out the completely-dark-outside-of-a-window. She said there was a puppy sleeping on our front doormat but she couldn�t see it [from the window]. So when she went back into her room, I looked out (and mind you, I�d never even contemplate about looking outside my window at night if I didn�t know what the heck was goin� on) and tried to find what she could not. I saw the little blonde puppy of course; darkish but I could make out the overall shape� ;-) It looked sooo cute! My heart sank after seeing that. Hehehe� Ugh� unfortunately, my sis and her husband opened the front door and it ran away� I dunno if that was an attempt to see what my sis could not, but that definitely got me pissed off [inside]. I could feel the pissyness brewing inside of me� it�s one of the meanest things I�ve ever seen. I mean sheesh! I�d rather be all observey than ever disturb it! That sucked a** big time. lol. *gives an evil eye look then sighs* Grr�! On the next day (Wednesday 5th), I had to take the bus [then train, then bus, then a bit of walking] home. It was a strange sort of day� One of my friends and I were feeling pretty blue at school and poured into some �I wish�� and �Why can�t�� words of suckiness for the majority of the day and saw some odd things, that I probably wouldn�t normally notice. I got onto the second bus [on the way home] and some guy�a pretty tall guy�smacked his head right onto one of those compartments that they have above the passenger seats on buses. I suppose those compartments were a little low and the whole bus cold have probably been built a little taller� but still yeah, he hit it with a loud thump and sat down. I was laughing inside for a second but you know how it goes, you laugh then you feel guilty for doing so and all sorry and all for thinking about it in the first place. So yeah, he was sitting like two seats in front of my and within the 20 minutes I was on the bus for, I hoped to see him do something, like take his hat off and rub his head or something, I dunno, just something to indicate that he cared. lol. I�m looking into this whole thing to seriously huh?! Hahaha� I guess I didn�t need to though, I could feel the tension, his paranoia about embarrassing himself in front of a lot of people who�d be looking and feeling and� lol. It was sad. I also saw some little girl�who happened to be standing right in front of a bus stop in front of her yard�pick her nose and eat what would be referred to as �boogers�� I know she was a little girl but it�s not exactly something that anyone [returning home on a bus after a tiring day] would have liked to see. lol. *sighs* Ohh, human evolution is a great, Great thing. =P Oh bugger� it�s already like 7pm. Ack! �Dinner and a shower and homework and TV to come. =) 7 Mar 03 Do you know that feeling, the feeling that everything will turn out okay? I mean I practically screwed up my chance to get into Uni�s that require a UAI, but like I�m not worried� like at all. It�s worrying me because I�m not worrying and it�s all so bloody confusing now! lol. I�m looking towards applying for scholarships, colleges or private colleges ATM� be making some calls this weekend to try and find out more. I�m like wondering what�s required of a person to actually receive a scholarship for design ya know, and how many are available. Doesn�t seem like a lot actually� which scares me. I�m listening to Breaking Benjamin�s Next To Nothing ATM. It�s not the really heavy stuff I normally listen to and it gives me a chance to listen to the lyrics more (which is usually not what draws my attention to the song in the first place. But is nice. =) Oh god, I wanna know what�s goin� on with me! I�m too droopy, I so need a feed of some newer and more captivating experiences! Would a bit of shopping therapy be the way to go? I don�t fancy spending much right now. lol. Saving up for some concerts/conventions. =) I can�t believe there�s 6 months left till my Trails for the HSC� then I�d be finished (for good) like 2 or 3 months later. So much to do in so little time! Sh*t� *ponders for a while* 13 Mar 03 I�d probably call today as one of those �bludge� days that we obviously shouldn�t be having at school, especially this year. However, it was pretty much one of those days today except for the two periods we had of English in the arvo before lunch. Our D&T teacher forgot she had class (our class) for the one period after lunch until one of our classmates dropped by the staffroom and asked her about it� Yup! Bludge. Sat there for the remainder of the lesson and bludged. But there were a few class discussions that helped pass the time. One of which was about one of my male classmates having porn stars all over his folder. She was a bit taken back by that so yeah� So our teacher told us about this edited version of those men from Manpower Australia that a student from the year before made for them (as part of a yearly calender). So my friend and I headed down to the staffroom to check it out� I could have done without seeing that�! I mean the heads of the male teachers replaced the original men who were on that picture. lol. it was sure as hell damn funny, but dear god it was disturbing! :-/ They were saying how at the end of this year they�re gonna make a calender featuring all of the teachers in that staffroom instead of just the men. I know they look forward to that�! lol. Man, like I got a big friggen� headache today on the way back home and to make matters worse, I had to take public transport� at least I finished at like 1:30pm so yeah� not sure if it was worth going home after that anyway. It takes like 1 � hours to get home via public transport� grrargh� >:-( How sucky! I was talking about how there�s this one bus driver I�ve gotten twice before and is so bloody cocky, it�s not even funny. Stupid fag� God, I swear, the guy asks me why I finish early on Monday�s right, and just before I was gonna explain that for seniors our school basically has it as a requirement that on Monday�s we finish at like 10:50am, he�s like �oh, are you jigging?� and has this smile on his face like oh-I-remember-those-days or oh-suck-crap-I-busted-you. So he tells me that I need a note from the school so that he won�t charge me an adult fee. I was so tempted to just connect my fist with his face right there and then! Then as my stop approached, I stood up near the front to get ready. What a mistake that was! Bastard asks me about school, so I told him that it was really hard and stressful ATM. Then he�s like �life isn�t that hard�, so I�m like �well it is for me� and he�s persistant in telling me that it�s not that hard blah blah blah, and I�m like thinking to myself, �you don�t know me so like I�m gonna just ignore your unsympathetic remarks because you had better wanted to be a bus driver and not have been left with a very limited choice, to be talking to me about not stressing and such!�. So I got off the bus and�yes I actually did�left him with my thanks for the bus ride. As I was getting off, he�s like �life isn�t so hard so stop stressing� with that stupid smile/whatnot on his face. Got off and I think�and I swear it�s what I heard, I didn�t expect anything else so I couldn�t have thought it up�he called me a �b*tch�! OMG I was so flamed on the walk back to my house! The nerve of that guy! He conjures up a conversation that led to calling me a b*tch! If there was a way of not letting him know who punched his face in, then I�d be first in line to do so! *shakes head in disappointment* I still can�t believe it� so I told my friend about it and she�s like �go get his bus ID number and report him!�. Unfortunately I never got to because I didn�t see him again after the second time. Oh yeah, that above is what happened the first time. The week after that, I still failed to get a note so, once again, he charged me a fee for the bus ride and whadda-ya-know? I�ve been hit with a red hot wave of d�j� vu! It�s like there wasn�t even a whole week that passed by. Sheesh! Grrargh� Luckily enough�the week after that�I managed to get that note, verifying the details in which the driver had requested. I think it must have hit him real hard to have me smirk and show him that note. =) You know why? �Cause he forgot that he was driving the 8@% bus, and thought it was the 8@# one instead. With this, at the next stop people were asking him if the bus goes to so and so street. He was like �no, the 8@% bus goes through that street� and stuff. Hehe� suck crap, back. Then those people went out, took a look at the bus number, came back and said that it was the 8@%. The driver laughed and was like �ohh� I must have thought I was driving the 8@# route because there�s some regular passengers that were on that bus and on this bus too�. I was happy to laugh with them too. =D 20 Mar 03 Been so tired today. I actually barely spoke a word to anybody� which usually isn�t a good sign for me� :-/ 26 Mar 03 Today I got a bus driver (for the 8@% route) that was just� He was like such a strict man. It�s like, when we were boarding the bus at the station, one school kid (with a Bus Pass) got in first and got shouted at for not letting the other people (who were paying) board before him. Then the driver was like yelling at all of us who did have a Bus Pass, to wait. While all this was going on, I was listening to music anyway, so I assumed that�s what had been happening� Anyway, yeah, the bus was already pretty packed so when we were at the next stop, some people had to stand in the aisle. I was unfortunate enough to be sitting between the front and the middle of the bus when this happened. The driver got up and shouted at all the school kids to shuffle back and leave some seats available for others at the front. I had still been listening to music so I didn�t necessarily hear anything, but from the reactions of the driver, I could assume he was pretty shouty and angry. lol. The lady that sat next to me had to let me through and when the driver started shouting at us, we both looked at each other in an �oh my god, what�s up his ass today?!� expression. I found it rather hilarious, probably because in all this tension I was still listening to my music and couldn�t hear a damn peep! Man, he must have been going through some sort of mid-life crisis or some sh*t because the anger in his face could be seen a mile away! Either way, he shouldn�t have took it out on us! We could have definitely made a complaint, definitely! Maybe if we get him again, we might be able to get his license number and all. *rolls eyes* |
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