interviews

ACHIEVING
GREATNESS

INTERVIEWS

Interview Reponses to "How Not to Talk to Your Kids"

"The article has given reason for a lot of thought. Coming from a generation where praise was not handed out freely and was at times difficult to get (no matter how hard the effort), I truly believe in praise. As stated in Meet the Folks, I do not believe in praising "mediocrity," but I do believe in praising "effort." I believe self confidence comes from feeling secure, happy, and loved. Parents generally show this through praise. However, I do believe that children should also know that at times even if they can not perform as well or fail at something, they are still important and will be loved. The effort is what truly counts."

- Mary Meduri, Age 49, Nurse for St. John of God Community Services

ACHIEVING GREATNESS

"I feel the specific praise is good for children. Some children, when given praise, state that they are better than others and feel no need to try hard because they already feel that they are better. When a child knows that they did well because of the effort that they put forward, they will feel the need to try just as hard, if not harder. Basically, a child that is told they are already smart will start to get cocky, and feel no need to try as hard. On the other end, telling a child they did well, but at the same time not boosting their ego too much with praise, is good for them."

- Michael McLaughlin, Age 20, Student at Gloucestor County College

"I think that while children may have a more fragile psyche than adults, unnecessary praise can damage a child as much as unnecessary criticism. Kids need to be encouraged, but they also need to be told when they are not doing something properly. It works on the same level with adults. If someone were to tell me I was doing on a good job, then I would be content with how I was doing it. However, if they were truthful and said that while I was trying hard, I could do a better job, I would know I wasn't doing that well and would try harder. It works the same for children, but on a more basic level. To get a child to do his best, you must encourage him, but also constructively criticize him."

- Patrick Reilly, Age 18, Student at Rutgers University

"I feel that praise is a good thing, but if it is excessive, it can cause the child to give up. When a child feels they can do better, they strive to work harder the next time. I don't think we should just always put them down, but we should make it work out so we can push them harder. If they are told they're smart all the time, they may start to think they are better than everyone else and not try as hard on things. Specific praise would be a lot better for a child because it will let them know what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong without criticizing them."

- Rachel Rebstock, Age 18, Student at Rowan University

"I don't agree with this theory. I feel that children do need all the praise they can get. When they are little, their mindset is very fragile. When they are young, they can not really distinguish between what type of they they are getting. All that is evident is that it is important to raise the self esteem of young people. I also disagree with this article because as I stated before, I believe it is being analyzed too deeply. I feel that children just need praise. They may not be able to tell what it is, but it will help their esteem, and that is very important."

- Rajat Singh, Age 18

"I was praised as a child for my artwork, so I thought I was really good and I kept on taking art classes throughout high school. However, when I got older, and noticed that everyone else's work was getting increasingly better, and mine was still at the level of a fifth grader, I knew I had a problem on my hands. I knew I had a problem because I wanted to pursue a career in animation and comics, but since I sucked, I knew my dream wouldn't come true. I blame all of this on my parents and teachers who kept continuing to tell me how good my work was, when they well knew it sucked. Now, I am at college without a major, and with no idea of what I want to do with my life."

- Nick Brigidi, Age 19, Student at Westchester University

    "This article explains the relationship between how parents and teachers talk to kids and how much effort the kids put into their work. Bronson is saying that parents/educators that tell their kids that they are smart everyday are reducing the amount of effort that the child puts forth towards their work on a daily basis. I agree with what this article is saying. I think it is true that students that are naturally smart and that are told they they are smart will not put forth the effort to try new things that they might have a chance of not being good at. On the contrary, the students that are told they are putting in a good effort and that they are trying hard, will try and work harder. The brain is a muscle. These students' brains are actually growing as they think about the work that they might not get right away. The students that are told that they are smart will not even try something that they do not think they will be successful with. Therefore, their brains are not growing and they are not going to get any smarter.
      On a personal note, I agree with this article because when I was younger, my mom did not always tell me that I was smart. Knowing this, I can truly say that I always put in the extra effort to do better. I think that this helped to mold me into the hard worker that I am today. Clearly, I do agree with this article and i think that the point that Bronson is making is very accurate."

                                                                             - Stacey Roth, Age 18, Student at Drexel University

"The article touches a recent concept in the workplace which is 'work smart, not hard.' One can often work extremely hard, but not be efficient in their work because they're not working smart. Working smart is being able to use all the tools and resources available to work effectively and efficiently. The giving of praise from a parent to a child is extremely important in the development of a child. However, too much praise, or better yet, praise given for the wrong reasons or at the wrong time, could be extremely detrimental to a child. Praise must be balance with constructive criticism. Over rewarding can give a child false concepts about themself."

- Barbera Snyder

"I believe that praise from a parent to a child is for the most part, beneficial. In fact, the lack of praise can cause the child to suffer problems. The benefit of this articleis that it illustrates two imporant points:

1) Praise must be given to the proper traits to help a child mature.
Example: Hard work is as important as innate intelligence.

2) Too much praise can have negative consequences."

- Michael Snyder

"I believe that the article gets its point across and makes the reader believe in favor of the article's point of view. After reading the summary, I would agree with the article. I can cite examples from personal experiences on this matter regarding the positives and negatives of praise. For example. my cousin has been told on numerous occasions that he is a 'genius,' however he tends to do poorly academically. I feel that this is because it is drilled into his head that he can perform well. Therefore, he does not put the extra effort into doing better. On the other hand, my younger brother is consistently pushed to work harder and do better in school and athletics. This praise on work ethic has earned him very high marks in school as well as good performances athletically. A person's ego can become too large if praise is used on a child and it will cause children to slack off. However, commenting on a person's skills tends to make one want to enhance their performance in the given task."

- Freshman from LaSalle University

"I think that this article makes perfect sense, and I completely agree with it. First, every person has a dominent intelligence in a specific area (theory of multiple intelligences). However, intelligence can be built up and strengthened through working hard in a subject. Intelligence is not an innate characteristic. In terms of praise, it is important to regulate the amount and type of praise you have to a child. Like the article stated, the children that were praised for their hard work attempted the harder puzzle; where as the children that were told they were smart, chose the puzzle that was equal to the first. These children are not being taught to challenge themselves academically because they fear failure. The problem with this is that true learning can not occur at this level. The content needs to be challenging, but not too challenging; a notch above the comfort zone (zone of proximinal development). It is only in this zone that new learning and critical thinking can occur. Lastly, if you praise a child too much, a child will do the right things for the extrinsic reward (praise), rather than the intrinsic reasons."

- Graduate Student from Wagner University

"There are several issues that concerned me. First, the first study, the one where two groups of students were praised in a different manner, did not have a control group. The lack of a control group makes it hard to attribute the results to a particular method of praise. When I think about the idea, I think it is how kids should be raised because their abilities will not be seen unless you continue to push them forward."

- Ilia Fishbein, Freshman at Drexel University

"The idea of pushing kids to their limit is the best way of making them reach their full potential. After hearing the summary, I believe this should be research since I heard similar ideas on the news from the past week. If a smart kid is just told that they are smart, they will never trust in succeeding in new concepts or ideas."

- Luke Momeralla, Sophomore at Penn State University

"After hearing the ideas, criticism can go a long way in improving in people's abilities. The best way I can think of this applying and working is in American Idol. The people who last the longest are the one that were criticized consistently by Simon. The other two judges just keep saying, 'Oh, you were great,' and it doesn't motivate them. By being criticized, the contestants continue to improve in their skills in order to:

a) Prove to Simon they are better
b) Prove to themselves they are better
c) Prove to everyone else they are better

Criticism goes a long way for people to become better since they want to reach the highest potential."

- Austin Nopper, a sales representative at Zygmunt Motors

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