A drummer went to the music shop. When the salesman saw him he asked "what can I do for you?"
"Well," said the drummer, "I'm tired of everyone saying I'm dumb just because I'm a drummer so I decided I'd come down here and pick out a new instrument to play."
"Okay," said the salesman," if you need help just ask."
After looking around the store the drummer came back to the counter and said,"I think I've decided. I'll take that red trumpet there and that accordian over there."
"Well," said the salesman, "you can take the fire extingisher but you can't have my radiator."
Q: Why do drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don't disgrace themselves in the parade.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. (They have machines to do that now.)
Q: How can you tell if a drummer is knocking on your door?
A: He rushes.
Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and government bonds?
A: The bonds mature.
Q: What does a timpanist say when he gets to his gig?
A: "Would you like fries with that, sir?"
Q: What did the timpanist get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.
Q: How do you tell when the drummer's platform stand is level?
A: The drool runs out equally from both sides of his mouth.
Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room?
A: They never know when to come in.
Q: How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
A: You ask him to play 4/4 at a constant 120 bpm.
Q: Why do bands have bass players?
A: To translate for the drummer.
Q: What do you call a drummer at a school of music?
A: A visitor.
Q: Recently a bass player left his keys in the car.
A: It took two hours to get the drummer out of there.
In music school the professor asks the drummer: "Can you please tell us the sub dominant of F major".
After a few minutes of off-put silence the drummer replies: "No, you can't fool me: F major is already the sub dominant!"
Says the bass player to the drummer: "Can't you play a little more dynamic!"
Says the drummer: "I'm already playing a loud as I can."
Q: What's the definition of a quarter-tone?
A: A harpist tuning unison strings.
Q: Why are pianists' fingers like lightening?
A: They rarely strike the same spot twice.
