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Marching Band
Stay away from people just learning how to spin flags. (Ow!)
Vote for Proposal BV (the people videoing the marching band gets free classes on how to get it right)
Be careful who you share your band camp cabin with and once you have your ideal cabin don't invite unwanted visitors.
Have lots of food and little people stored in your cabin.
And, once again, we don't want to know how many times you went poo that day so please don't tell us.
Running to breakfast is (still) fun. And you get to beat all the others to lunch and dinner too.
Square dancing in a same-sex circle isn't all bad. Girls pay more attention to directions it seems.
When there is a 200 person limit capacity in a room and there's a little over 100 people, be warned, the "Bunny-Hop" is not the smartest idea. *creak creak* "The Basement's going to cave in! ...cool!"
On free time, stay out of the Basement of Lochaven unless you want a very angry brass player in your face. That place is MINE! All MINE! Learn it well! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!
If you see me in the Basement with an English novel or a Shakespearean play and I�m in a talkative mood, run! I will give you a long, fine-tuned lecture on the book that will make even Mr. Seal look like a fool!
Leave the stuff that is under the boats in the Basement alone. It�s mine�I need my peace and reading time�so don�t touch it.
E.M. Forster�s Maurice is a gooooood book! Charlott Bronte�s Jane Eyre and Robert Louis Stevenson�s Kidnapped isn�t bad either. Yah, that�s what I read in the Basement in the week-span of time during camp.
Kariokie is fun!
Peanut Butter is good... tuna fish is not.
For the love of Bob, don't take the Salsa Challenge! (you'll be shitten' fire)
Don't plan on doing anything for skit night. Spur of the moment ideas win, thank you very much.
Punching Cornish is a great stress reliever.
Air mattresses are comfy and if you push your friend into the crack between the bed and the wall during the night you'll get that big ol' mattress to yourself for the rest of the week... even if you didn't mean to push them in 'The Crack.' Hee hee hee!
So you like N*SYNC (personal note: blech!) okay, that's all right. One word of advice: don't have us choose which N*STYNC member we like best by forcing us to look at their hideous faces on your shirt when they're right over your boobs!
It's a proven fact that only the band director and a can of Dew can do a front slide correctly. Don't over do it.
Saxophonists are WEIRD. Clarinet players aren't much better. Sharing a cabin with two of each and you�re the only brass is a scary thing.
Be sure you're always the last one asleep in your cabin.
Sucking up to the cabin judges actually works! (2nd place!)
Chaperones rule, really, you have to give them credit.
Eating ice cream�that you won from getting 1st place on skit night�and watching rainbows in the Basement with your friends is a nice way to relax after a hard-week�s-worth of marching.
"Blood, blood, guts and gore! What do you think those cleats are for? STOMP 'EM!" -Mr. V student teacher
Work sucks but vacation pay rules.
Don't get your valve stuck in your instrument right before a game! If so, a tuba player is best at getting it unstuck.
If your mouthpiece gets stuck once for three months it's liable to get stuck again�believe me!
Try not to look at the crowd when in a parade if you don't want to smile ("Be a marching statue!")... and don't look for your family either, you'll end up smiling even when they do nothing funny.
Never ask to see someone's stuffed monkey. There's always a pervert around.
If you're marching on a muddy field, watch where you step!
Just because you are snuggled under a blanket with a boy to keep warm while waiting to perform does not mean you are "snuggling."
Question: why do pics and flutes scream just as high and out of tune as they do when they play?
Answer: ...? (I guess it's one of those eternal questions)
In the future it would be nice if you donated a dome over the marching field (football field�same difference!) so we can have MSBOA. GO COREY!
Michigan weather is a damnable thing!
Don't wear good sneakers in marching band. They will wear out.
No matter what kind of drink you bring, there's always someone who wants a sip of it.
Atten-hut! Too slow! Do it again! Atten-hut! You blinked! Do it again!
Hope that your director invited his girlfriend to one of your most stress filled performances: he won't be stressed (but in a good mood) and you have free reign to act like an idiot without getting into trouble.
Let the drummajors tune and take charge: no one listens to section leaders anymore, especially piccolos and Cornish.
Stealing mouthpieces is still fun!
Try not to get your belt buckle stuck on the fire alarm. Except for the mothpiece stealing, it's not fun to wait outside for an hour in the dark.
Keep you're loved ones close to you, you never know when they will leave you. (Keep Mrs. Beardsley in your heart)
Respect your band moms and dads. It may not seem like much at the time but when they�re gone they means the world to you. Let them know you appreciate what they do for you and your band family.
Concert Season
Playing the "Jaws" theme on the string bass while the band room is quiet and filled with people is a riot!
Learn how to tune *cough cough Cornish cough*. If you�re out of tune there's such a thing as 'lipping' and 'fixing' and 'tuning valves.'
Just when you think you've seen the stupidest uniform in the world, the directors will find a way to make it even stupider.
Changing the title of songs is funny, even if it was changed years before the song was given to you. ("Americans We" became "American's Weed" and "Yorkshire Ballad" became "Yorkshire Pudding�yuck!")
If the band director has you under close surveillance, don't do anything stupid.
In the eyes of the band director: if you're not a senior (except Cornish), you're not special.
"American Pie II" is funnier than the first... just because there's more band stuff. Ha!
Act like you�re marking your music but really write silly phrases all over it. ("BONG!" "Is it over yet?" "It's only natural if you're asleep by now" "Woodwinds suck!" "Why can�t they write this in English?" "Come on, we need a challenge!" "Slacker!" "SWEET!" etc.)
Practice really hard for Honor�s band, it�s more burdensome than you think!
Get lessons. Become first chair. Be in S&E. Live to play! And on your free time beat up Cornish!
If you�re going to burst out with a comment during a sectional with a director you�ve just met, make it funny! ("SWEET!" -Maitland)
Be careful with foreign stands�it�s harder to determine how much torture it can take.
Sometimes you do sound better when you stight-read. (our music was THAT hard)
When a maniac trombonist is chasing the string bass player around the room�using his trombone as a sword�stay out of the way. In fact, running would be a good idea.
Hide if the said bass player runs at the trombonist�who is sitting right next to you�with the pointy end of the rubber stand of his bass.
Watch out for swords of many kinds.
Try to avoid bows in the hands of a bass player.
Snore really loud if a priss is reading a part of the music's history out loud for the class.
Low brass instruments make good pillows. Then again, you might not want to fall asleep with low brass players around; you never know what you'll wake up to.
Bass players are funny when they squeal!
On small, three question surveys expect silly drawings or writings on nearly every brass players' paper.
A percussionist is not a good person to pick the chorale number.
Chorales in cut time is... weird.
It really sucks sitting next to a smelly person to the point where you can hardly breathe. It's even worse if the other person next to you had beans not to long ago. You come to appreciate the lesser things in life.
When the student teacher from earlier in the year comes back as a sub, sometimes he'll toss out candy during class if you're good.
Give a trombonist an Energy Drink and watch the fun begin!
When the seniors leave low brass will take control of the front rows.
Got Brass?
If your private lesson guy is weird yet says he's even weirder on stage don't believe it. He'll be just as crazy as he always is.
Seeing your teacher at a club to listen to your private lesson guy play in his band is a scary thing.
When your private lesson guy hugs you at a club you have to wonder; is he drunk or just excited about his performance?
Don't talk about band to your band teacher when you're not at school or a school function. It's just... creepy. BAND NERD!
Private lesson guys are weird!
When a choir member joins jazz band as the pianoist, expect him to change drasticly. Welcome the the 'Dark Side' Peter! Mwa ha ha ha! (Darth Vador theme followed by Celebration)
Choir teachers are real cranky.
Don't do anything to provoke the choir teacher when she's PMSing!
Just because the fire alarm went off again before a concert doesn't mean the band pulled it! Don't jump to conclutions! Besides, the choir also present.
Paper Plate awards are fun... as long as you get one.
The 'Brown Noser' award is not something to be proud of.
The best thing about saying goodbye to seniors is that I don't have to look at (or smell) Cornish again! Mwa ha ha ha! And I got the last word! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!
All hail my food creation! Band banquets are soooo amusing!
I'm first chair and you're not! :-P so there!
Pep Band
Befriend the loudest person in pep band. Yell out things to the volleyball and basketball teams that have nothing to do with the sport. (�Go band!� �Blah!�) Or cheer for the other team.
Learn the lyrics to "Green Acres" because it�s better to have the entire pep band sing it rather than a solo. Hey, it�s a new "tradition" Baker and Yelly style! (FYI I'm Yelly)
Paper towel tubes are a good way of projecting your verbal yells. The big tube that holds the giant thing of plastic wrap at work is even better.
Bring a pen with you to the volleyball games. Even with the rowdy energy you�ll get bored fast!
Writing things on The Tube ("Baker�s Blowhole" "Yelly�s Tube-Thingy" "Adam's Dingy" "Adam Cornish�s Small Dick"�I actually didn�t write the last one) and drawing characters of your teachers on the back of your music (Justin) is amusing.
When called to play "Sing, Sing, Sing" don�t actually sing�it�s band not choir!
Winning the door prizes two times in a row is cool! (go me!)
Smearing nacho cheeZe on the bell of a tuba is funny!
Throwing things in the bell of a tuba is entertaining, especially if the player isn�t paying attention.
Emptying your spit over the edge of the bleachers where the visitor team is preparing to make their entrance to the gym floor can be deadly but DAMN! is it ever gratifying!
POP! goes the weasel!
Hotdog! Hotdog! Gotta get that hotdog!
Former student teachers are good people to sub for the director. Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Bring in some pop to go with the pizza and (curtsy of me) Little Debbie snack thingys because your mouth will go dry.
Note to self: don�t forget the chessboard! (sorry Dar-Dar!)
Forget what I said in the Marching Band part�do not, I repeat, do NOT have a tuba player get your mouthpiece unstuck for you.
Gah! Tune damn it!
You�re not a part of pep band if you miss more than one game so don�t show up for the pep band yearbook picture.
When watching Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and the Darth Vador theme comes on try your hardest not to laugh out loud or start humming "Celebration." However, it's okay to snicker off to the side with your pep band buddy. You'll get weird looks from your friends and the patrons but sometimes it just can't be helped. (Unless you're in the NW pep band, you probably won't get it.)
If your director tells you that he's pulled you to the 'Dark Side,' run!
The most boring game you can possibility play at is the teachers v. the Detroit Lions playing basketball.
If you hear of a band mom being in the hospital earlier in the day then at half-time you see the principal talk to your director with a grim expression, don�t expect good things.
It�s a horrible thing when after a game the twenty-odd-sum of pep band people are energetic and enthused and gathered in the band room are told by their saddened director that a band mom passed away in the hospital during the game.
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