.::[[MARCH]]::.

The thoughts that simply comes to mind

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Well, here is another month. Seems like February went by so quickly. Well, AsianAvenue is starting to cut off what I have at the end of this so I just decided to take my "thoughts" out for February & begin a new section for March. I shall make a link of the "old thoughts" later though so if you guys want to see what random thoughts comes to this mind of mine just click there.

03-02-01 : Beginning of the month. 3 straight night Ihave beensleeping alone. I sharemy room withmy sister & with her new job, she was suppose to work all shifts up to her third month of working. Well, this week, it was her week to work from 10 p.m. until 6 a.m. This is just the 2nd time that I was actually left in my room, I mean for a long time. I haven`t seen her since Tuesday night & you know what, I`m missing her. Even though I never really realized it, just hearing her voice, or glancing at her gives me the assurance that she`s alright. I mean I worry about herwhen I don`t see her. Different images comes to mind. I do that to all the members of my family. I mean I worry when they are not home yet at a certain time of night & tend to stay up to wait for them. I don`t think I`ll know what I`ll do ifI loose those people thatare dear to me. 10:00 A.M.

03-03-01 : ::TRUST:: This is the most important thing in a relationship, without it, thereis no basis for a relationship. Why do people tell lies? Do they do it to protect themselves or to avoid causing pain on another. See telling a lie doesn`t fix things or even avoid pain. Sooner or later, a lie will find it`s way to resurface & you will have to deal with it. The only thing that a lie can do is buy you some time to deal with the situation. A lie doesn`t flatten your life & make it easier, it only creates more bumps & hills for you to goover. There really isn`t much of a reason for lying, so why can`t we all just be honest. Like the saying goes "Honesty is the best policy".
::FEELINGS:: I wonder how come there are people who can`t say what they feel or get what the other person is feeling. I wonder if the communication is the problem. Sometimes when feelings are hurt, words have got to be said to mend the hurt feeling & when those words aren`t said, things get worse. For some reason even time can`t fix what`s broken. There are times where people can`tsay what they feelbecause of the consequences. Even thefeeling of "Love" is often not said enough. Isn`t it true that if you love someone, you love them for who they are fully & not partially. You will learn to accept all their strengths, weakness, good & the bad. In every relationship, someone is always bond to be the one who cries. Although it`s not intentional, someone always ends up getting hurt. How often do we give our heart to those who don`t deserve it & how often do we get our hearts broken by that person? In life we can`t avoid getting hurt, all we can do is choose wisely. "Be careful who you give your heart to unless you want it broken." 3:16 A.M.

03-11-01: ::MISSING:: Things & people that I miss. I miss my friends, their smiles, hearing their laughters, & mostof all spending time w/ them. Midnight phone calls, trying to catch up on things. Someone playing with my hair, cuddling while watching tv, looking up in the night sky & trying to see how many constallations there are, holding hands w/ someone other than your sis/friends, looking into each other`s eyes & without words you know what the other is feeling, & laughing at inside jokes. The old friends that I barely talk to, making new friends & expanding your knowledge. There are a lot of things that sometimes we don`t get to do as often as we use to, but it doesn`t mean that you`ve forgotten about them. Sometimes, we`ve even too busy to really realize it. What we need is to take a few seconds out of our time to realize what surrounds us & appreciate them. 11:32 P.M.
03-15-01: Do you believe when ppl say that for everyone there is someone? What if you thought you found that someone & ended up wrong? Once I thougth I found that someone I will be with for the rest of my life but he wasn`t the one. He was just eh first person I loved. I`ve always been careful to who I give me heart to &always watchedout soI won`t get hurt. It`s always been that I backed away before things got serious. I was the one who hurt them before they get the chance to hurt me. I know that was wrong but I was younger then. See the second time I thought I found "the one", I was hesitant to actually admit it, considering what happened before. When I finally did start to admit it to myself that this is the one, I started to see a change. The typical change of slowly staying away, making excusses & being cold. I mean this attitude is way too familiar to me. It`s saying, "I`m no longer interested, get away from me." See why is it that guys don`t have the guts to say what they feel. I mean if you`re not interested anymore, don`t be an A$$hole & wait for the girl to get mad pist @ you& just break it off. Thereis no needto prolonging it if thereisno future. Like I said, be careful who you give your heart to. 11:00 A.M.
03-19-01: This past week-end,it was my friend`s father & brother`s b-day. Little did I know that this would be the time I would get pist drunk. It`s not good to get drunk @ someone`s home but we all had a li`l something to drink. Things happened that can`t be blamed for the alcohol b/c it happened again the next day that left ppl dazed & confused. There is this rule I have w/ friends dating other friends that I disagree w/. I mean it will be ok if the person joined our group b/c they were w/ one of our friends but not if they were already in our circle of friends. It just creates awkwardness. Well, that is not the only thing that happened, I`ve said a lot of things that I somehow bottled up for a long time & just couldn`t contain it anymore. Made me feel better & cleared my head. Now I think I know what to do with that issue. I just want to wish everyone luck with everything that may happen from now on. 12:50 P.M.
03-20-01: Something weird has been happening lately. For some reason, a person has been calling my house for the past 2 weeks everyday, it`s from the 902 which is from P.E.I. Sorry I don`t know any fisherman excerpt for my lolo. Even this morning I was awaken by a phonecall. This time it`s from 514 which is a montreal area code. See the 902 didn`t scare b/c they called my house but 514 they called my cell phone. So that`s kinda weird. I was also disappointed tonight. I thought maybe when a person has free time they would want to come see you, but I was wrong, they rather go to a baby shower. And to think that was the only free week-end they have. Even though I didn`t know what I was doing this week-end & has told that person to take their chance, I never expected that they would not come. Now everything is clear "CRYSTAL CLEAR".How sad huh! *tear* 9:55 P.M.

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