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Quest For Fire, 1981, Everett McGill, Rae Dawn Chong, Ron Perlman
Great film has no real dialogue to speak of (no pun intended), just a bunch of grunting cavemen and cavewomen who kill and have sex on their way to finding fire.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Quick And The Dead, 1995, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Gary Sinise
Although very unmanly and wholly unrealistic since it involves a hot female gunslinger outdueling the males, this has its moments.
2 stars out of 5
____
Quills, 2000, Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, Joaquin Phoenix, Michael Caine
Lewd, crude, and great. One of the best films of 2000 with great acting all around. Not for everybody.
5 stars out of 5
____
Quiz Show, 1994, John Turturro, Rob Morrow, Ralph Fiennes
I don't know why every movie critic had a wet dream over this film. Its good, but not fantastic. It could have used some nudie scenes.
3 stars out of 5
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Rad, 1986, Bill Allen, Ray Walston, Talia Shire, Lori Loughlin
Huh?
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Radio Flyer, 1992, Lorraine Bracco, John Heard, Elijah Wood, Joseph Mazzello, Adam Baldwin, Tom Hanks
Incredibly downbeat film about some abused kids who find some solace daydreaming about smoking crack. Just checking to see that you were actually reading this.
3 stars out of 5
____
A Rage In Harlem, 1991, Forest Whitaker, Robin Givens, Danny Glover, Gregory Hines
Worth renting when all the new releases and all the Friday The 13th series is checked out.
3 stars out of 5
____
Raging Bull, 1980, Robert DeNiro, Cathy Moriarty, Joe Pesci
Intense look at a fat Robert DeNiro.
4 stars out of 5
____
Ragtime, 1981, James Cagney, Brad Dourif, Pat O'Brien, Elizabeth McGovern, Mary Steenburgen, Donald O'Connor
I forgot what this film was about, but I do remember that it was long and pretty good.
4 stars out of 5
____
Raiders Of The Lost Ark, 1981, Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Wolf Kahler, Paul Freeman, Ronald Lacey
A timeless action classic of undisputed proportions.
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, 1984, Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw
The film that moved the MPAA to create the PG-13 rating. Apart from that, it is mostly goofy kids stuff with an occasional ass-kicking scene from Indy himself.
3˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, 1989, Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliot, River Phoenix
Almost (but not quite) equals the original in entertainment value.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Rain Man, 1988, Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise
Dustin Hoffman plays what amounts to a retarded version of Ratso Rizzo and Tom Cruise just kind of watches him for almost 2˝ hours.
4 stars out of 5
____
Raising Arizona, 1987, Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Randall Cobb, Trey Wilson, John Goodman, William Forsythe
Interesting stuff.
4 stars out of 5
____
Rambling Rose, 1991, Laura Dern, Robert Duvall, Diane Ladd, Lukas Haas, John Heard
Solid film about a slutty babysitter.
4 stars out of 5
____
Ransom, 1996, Mel Gibson, René Russo, Gary Sinise, Lili Taylor
Fast moving kidnapping film is somewhat of a departure for Ron Howard.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Raw Deal, 1986, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathryn Harrold, Darren McGavin, Sam Wanamaker
Typical Arnold-busting-ass film.
3 stars out of 5
____
Rawhead Rex, 1986, David Dukes, Kelly Piper, Niall Toibin
Low-class monster flick is better than most.
2 stars out of 5
____
Re-Animator, 1985, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David Gale, Robert Sampson, Jeffrey Combs
The one and only. This movie is so utterly disgusting in every facet imaginable that it should be required viewing for those ages eight and up.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Rebel Without A Cause, 1955, James Dean, Natalie Wood, Sal Mineo, Dennis Hopper, Jim Backus, Ann Doran
A movie that still manages to be cool 40 years later. Little did anyone know that James Dean and Sal Mineo were probably both sucking face behind-the-scenes.
5 stars out of 5
____
Red Dawn, 1984, Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Ron O'Neal, Lea Thompson, Powers Boothe, Charlie Sheen
The ultimate in frivilous fun for fans of the communist-killing Cold War cinema genre.
4 stars out of 5
____
Red Heat, 1988, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Ed O'Ross, Laurence Fishburne, Gina Gershon
Arnold kicks commie ass in a gesture of glastnost.
4 stars out of 5
____
Red Rock West, 1993, Nicolas Cage, Dennis Hopper, Lara Flynn Boyle, J.T. Walsh, Timothy Carhart
Yet another film where Dennis Hopper plays a nutcase. Lara Flynn Boyle is voluptious as usual.
4 stars out of 5
____
Red Shoe Diaries, 1992, David Duchovny, Brigitte Bako
This pseudo-skin flick might not have been so bad if all the sex scenes weren't photographed in annoying now-you-see-it-now-you-don't ways.
1 star out of 5
____
Regarding Henry, 1991. Harrison Ford, Annette Bening
Real man Harrison Ford gets shot in the head giving a robber scumbag a hard time and then becomes Mr. Sensitive. Please. If you show this to your woman, she might put out when the movie is over with.
3 stars out of 5
____
Remains Of The Day, 1993, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson
What comes first, a woman or your job? Men will appreciate this movie for the aforementioned theme, and women will love it because they'll cry.
5 stars out of 5
____
Remember The Titans, 2000, Denzel Washington, Nicole Ari Parker, Will Patton, Kate Bosworth, Jerry Brandt
Typical Hollywood exaggeration makes Alexandria, Virginia, look like 1950s Birmingham, but manages to create a nice story nevertheless.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, 1985, Fred Ward, Joel Grey, Wilford Brimley
Average action.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
The Replacement Killers, 1998, Chow Yun-Fat, Mira Sorvino, Jurgen Prochnow
Director Antoine Fuqua's music-video background is actually a plus in this testosterone fest. Chow Yun-Fat is a bad, bad man and Mira Sorvino looks mighty good with a gun. Plenty of action and style make this one worthwhile.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Replacements, 2000, Keanu Reeves, Gene Hackman, Brooke Langton, Orlando Jones
A decent football melodrama with one truly hot babe who doesn't get naked.
3 stars out of 5
____
Repo Man, 1984, Emilio Estevez, Harry Dean Stanton, Tracey Walter
Cult classic that retains cult classic status for reasons still unknown.
3 stars out of 5
____
Requiem For A Dream, 2000, Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, Marlon Wayans
Out of all the junkie movies this one may be the hardest to watch. How Ellen Burstyn lost to Julia Roberts and her push-up bra for the Best Actress Oscar award is something that Hollywood will never be able to adequately explain.
4 stars out of 5
____
Reservoir Dogs, 1992, Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Midsen, Christopher Penn, Steve Buscemi
Truly a diamond in the rough and a manly film in every sense of the word involving honor, loyalty, betrayal, and consequence.
5 stars out of 5
____
The Return Of The Living Dead, 1985, Clu Gulager, James Karen, Don Calfa, Thom Matthews
Tongue-in-cheek every second, with enough amusing scares to keep you on the edge. No relation to the George Romera series, but every bit as fun.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Return Of The Living Dead Part II, 1988, James Karen, Thom Mathews, Dana Ashbrook
A play on the original, complete with the dead stars of the first returning for another go-around. Just as many laughs, if not more.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Return Of The Living Dead 3, 1993, J. Trevor Edmond, Mindy Clarke, Sarah Douglas, Kent McCord
Not nearly as good as the first two, but certainly as gruesome.
3 stars out of 5
____
Revenge, 1990, Kevin Costner, Madeleine Stowe, Anthony Quinn
Interesting premise falters with a weak second half.
2˝ stars out of 5
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Reversal Of Fortune, 1990, Jeremy Irons, Glenn Close, Ron Silver
If I was Claus Van Bulow, I would've tried to deep-six my wife too.
4 stars out of 5
____
Richard III, 1995, Ian McKellen, Annette Bening, Robert Downey
Set shortly after a World War II in which Hitler triumphed, this adaptation of Shakespeare's play is fantastic and understandable to the average schlub.
4˝ stars out of 5
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Ricochet, 1991, Denzel Washington, John Lithgow, Ice T, Kevin Pollack
Good action, good acting. Generally good.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Rising Sun, 1993, Sean Connery, Wesley Snipes, Harvey Keitel
Surprisingly good Hollywood adaptation of a Michael Crichton novel.
4 stars out of 5
____
Risky Business, 1983, Tom Cruise, Rebecca DeMornay, Curtis Armstrong
The ultimate timeless party film, complete with much nakedness ala Miss DeMornay.
4 stars out of 5
____
The River Wild, 1994, Meryl Streep, Kevin Bacon
OK, here goes. Meryl Streep as a tough chick in a PG13 movie. Well, it's actually fairly decent.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
River's Edge, 1987, Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Ione Skye, Crispin Glover
Not a happy film but worth watching regardless.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Road House, 1989, Patrick Swayze, Ben Gazzara, Sam Elliot
The ultimate testosterone film about a bouncer who builds a body count comparable to Rambo.
3˝ stars out of 5
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Road Trip, 2000, Tom Green, Breckin Meyer, Amy Smart, Seann William Scott, Rachel Blanchard
Mostly stupid and with none of the charm of American Pie. Highlights include a grandpa with a woodie and numerous naked girls.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Rob Roy, 1995, Liam Neeson, Jessica Lange, Tim Roth, John Hurt, Eric Stoltz
A fantastic cast (without Jessica Lange, of course) but only a mediocre script. So-so.
3 stars out of 5
____
Robin Hood: Men In Tights, 1993, Cary Elwes, Richard Lewis, Roger Rees, Amy Yasbeck
Mel Brooks hasn't made a good film since Spaceballs.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves, 1991, Kevin Costner, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Morgan Freeman
To any moron who still contends that Kevin Costner can act, I gladly refer you to this drivel.
1 star out of 5
____
Robocop, 1987, Peter Weller, Nancy Allen
Fine work of ultra-violent police mayhem.
4 stars out of 5
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Robocop 2, 1990, Peter Weller, Nancy Allen
Dumb sequel.
1˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Robocop 3, 1993, Robert Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, Mako
I'm not actually sure that I've seen this but I think I did and I'm sure it sucks.
1 star out of 5
____
The Rock, 1996, Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, David Morse
Solid action film jam-packed with manly men actors.
4 stars out of 5
____
Rocky, 1976, Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers
The first, the best, and the one that spawned 4 sequels and a host of other Rocky wannabe films.
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Rocky II, 1979, Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers
Rocky gets a rematch but the film is inferior except for an entertaining portion where a dense Rocky tries to film a commercial.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
Rocky III, 1982, Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Mr. T, Burgess Meredith, Carl Weathers, Burt Young
The evil Mr. T kills Burgess Meredith so logically Rocky has to pound the crap out of him in the boxing arena.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
Rocky IV, 1985, Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Dolph Lundgren, Burt Young
One of the best because Rocky gets to avenge Apollo Creed's death at the hands of a dirty commie.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Rocky V, 1990, Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Tommy Morrison
Streetfighter Rocky. Silly but better than it sounds.
3 stars out of 5
____
The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 1975, Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Meat Loaf
Amusing but somehow it manages not to hit me the right way. Something about a singing Tim Curry transvestite just doesn't float my boat.
2˝ stars out of 5
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Romancing The Stone, 1984, Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito
The beginning of a long run of movie successes and good scripts for Michael Douglas.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Jewel Of The Nile, 1985, Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito
More of the same.
4 stars out of 5
____
Romeo And Juliet, 1968, Olivia Hussey, Leonard Whiting
The most remembered version of Shakespeare's classic is this one, complete with jailbait Olivia Hussey's big melons.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Romy And Michele's High School Reunion, 1997, Mira Sorvino, Lisa Kudrow, Janeane Garofalo, Alan Cumming
A bit too girly, but there's still enough in it to make anybody relate to some of the people in their own high schools.
3 stars out of 5
____
Ronin, 1998, Robert De Niro, Jean Reno, Jonathon Pryce, Natasha McElhorne
At first complicated, but soon a full speed ahead joyride. De Niro rules as always.
4 stars out of 5
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Rosemary's Baby, 1968, Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes, Ruth Gordon, Charles Grodin
How bad can a movie be when it shows Mia Farrow's jugs? Not only that, but the movie is actually spooky. Realism makes this one work. At the end of the film, you'll want to go out and sacrifice your pet. A must see for fans of horror.
4 stars out of 5
____
Roxanne, 1987, Steve Martin, Daryl Hannah, Rick Rossovich, Shelley Duvall
Martin saves an otherwise sappy romantic chick flick.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Rude Awakening, 1989, Cheech Marin, Eric Roberts, Julie Hagerty, Robert Carradine
Mostly dumb film has its best moment in the beginning when Cheech is so stoned that he thinks a fish is talking to him.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Rules Of Engagement, 2000, Samuel L. Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Archer, Kim Delaney, Guy Pearce
Better than most lawyer-to-the-rescue films. Good performances and a surprisingly pro-military message.
4 stars out of 5
____
Rumble In Hong Kong, 1970something, John Chang, Jackie Chan, Charlie Chin
One of the many films out now that tries to take advantage of a minor Jackie Chan role (guess who it took advantage of?). High on action, but low on realism and sound effects.
2 stars out of 5
____
Rumble In The Bronx, 1996, Jackie Chan, Anita Mui
If you take this for what it is, you'll enjoy it. Don't expect any Academy Award winning performances though.
3 stars out of 5
____
Run Lola Run, 1999, Franka Potente, Moritz Bleibtrau
Totally pointless but nonetheless fun artsy German flick. Think of Groundhog Day meets The Running Man.
3 stars out of 5
____
Runaway, 1984, Tom Selleck, Gene Simmons, Kirstie Alley, Cynthia Rhodes
About as good as it can be considering the main nemesis is an army of mechanical spiders.
2 stars out of 5
____
Runaway Train, 1986, Jon Voight, Eric Roberts, Rebecca DeMornay
Melodrama kills this one.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
The Running Man, 1987, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso, Richard Dawson
OK but the book was a lot better.
3 stars out of 5
____
Rush, 1991, Jason Patric, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Sam Elliott, Gregg Allman
Depressing movie but it packs a punch.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Rush Hour, 1998, Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan
Funny and loaded with the usual Jackie Chan cool stunts. Definite manly brain candy.
4 stars out of 5
____
Rushmore, 1998, Bill Murray Jason Schwartzman, Olivia Williams
Not as in-your-face as some may thing, but the mix of subtle, smart, and silliness makes for a movie worth renting.
4 stars out of 5
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The Saint, 1997, Val Kilmer, Elisabeth Shue, Rade Serbedzija, Valeri Nikolayev
This one has entirely too many plot holes and an incredibly unbelievable romance holding it all together. A mess of a movie.
2 stars out of 5
____
St. Elmo's Fire, 1985, Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Andie MacDowell
The quintessential 80s ratpack film, but it doesn't touch The Breakfast Club.
4 stars out of 5
____
Saturday The 14th, 1981, Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss
Dumb stuff.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Saving Private Ryan, 1998, Tom Hanks, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Tom Sizemore
An unquestionable masterpiece. This one is one of those rare gems sure to show up on both a Manly Man's Top Ten List and the Commie Pinko's Top Ten List. This will do to war films what Citizen Kane supposedly did for all of moviedom.
5 stars out of 5
____
Scandal, 1989, John Hurt, Joanne Whalley, Bridget Fonda, Ian McKellen
Slightly disappointing in that it didn't have as much T&A as it could have. But there's plenty of Bridget!
4 stars out of 5
____
Scarface, 1983, Al Pacino, Steven Bauer, Robert Loggia
Fantastic gangster film from the master of the odd, Brian DePalma.
5 stars out of 5
____
Scary Movie, 2000, Jonathan Abrahams, Carmen Electra, Shannon Elizabeth, Regina Hall, Cheri Oteri
Incredibly stupid spoof of Scream is worth renting only for some of the most irreverent and hilarious scenes ever filmed.
3 stars out of 5
____
Scent Of A Woman, 1992, Al Pacino, Chris O'Donnell
Talk about a completely overrated film, this is it. Pacino is good, but O'Donnell is his usual annoying self and the script is anything but exciting.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Schindler's List, 1993, Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsley, Ralph Fiennes
Hard to watch, but good performances and the obviously correct moral tone it takes make this a must.
5 stars out of 5
____
Scream, 1996, David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Courteney Cox, Henry Winkler, Drew Barrymore
A modern horror classic that pokes fun at nearly every film in the genre.
4˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Scream 2, 1997, David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox
It succeeds, but not nearly as much as the original. You'll definitely jump once or twice.
3˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Scream 3, 2000, David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Patrick Dempsey, Scott Foley
Almost completely devoid of any of the originality the first two films showed. Except for a few cameos, this has nothing new or funny to offer. And you still don't get to see Courteney Cox (who is starting to show her age) naked.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Scrooged, 1988, Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, John Glover, Carol Kane, Bob Goldthwait
Surprisingly funny modern take on Dickens' classic.
4 stars out of 5
____
Sea Of Love, 1989, Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin, John Goodman
An always solid Pacino meets a sexy, naked Ellen Barkin. How bad can it be?
4 stars out of 5
____
The Search For One-Eye Jimmy, 1996, Michael Badalucco, Jennifer Beals, Ray Mancini
Low-budget film is surprisingly funny and definitely crude. Fun when you're in the mood for something different.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Searching For Bobby Fischer, 1993, Joe Mantegna, Ben Kingsley, Laurence Fishburne, Joan Allen, Max Pomeranc
No problems with this one. Solid throughout.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Secret Of My Success, 1987, Michael J. Fox, Helen Slater, Margaret Whitton, Richard Jordan
The only good thing about this movie the first time I saw it was Helen Slater. However, I have since come to appreciate the entire film.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
The Seduction, 1982, Morgan Fairchild, Andrew Stevens
Dumb stalker film is basically just an excuse to see Morgan Fairchild naked. So what if I've seen it many times.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
See No Evil, Hear No Evil, 1989, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey
Probably the last enjoyable film for either of the two stars.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
The Serpent And The Rainbow, 1988, Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson
The usual dumb Wes Craven flick.
1 star out of 5
____
Seven, 1996, Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, R. Lee Ermey, Richard Roundtree
Lots of gore and a cool ending make this one memorable.
4 stars out of 5
____
Seven Years In Tibet, 1997, Brad Pitt, Jamyang Wangchuk, David Thewlis, Lhakpa Tsamchoe
Good on a grand scale is still only good.
3 stars out of 5
____
The Seventh Sign, 1988, Demi Moore, Michael Biehn
Pretty freaky film about biblical apocalypse.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad, 1958, Kerwin Mathews, Kathryn Grant, Torin Thatcher
The ultimate Sinbad and fantasy film. Still a treat 40 years later.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Sex, Lies And Videotape, 1989, James Spader, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher, Laura San Giacomo
Retarded. I don't know why this received any acclaim. It sucks.
1 star out of 5
____
Shaft, 1971, Richard Roundtree, Charles Cioffi, Moses Gunn
The ultimate manly black man's film. White fellas should watch and admire the cat with the smooth moves.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
Shaft's Big Score!, 1972, Richard Roundtree, Moses Gunn, Joseph Mascolo
That cat Shaft is back taking on the mob. Better than the original.
3˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Shaft In Africa, 1973, Richard Roundtree, Vonetta McGee
My personal favorite of the three is this one. It is the most well-paced, best directed, and the wackiest of that cat Shaft's movies.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Shaft, 2000, Samuel L. Jackson, Christian Bale, Vanessa Williams, Toni Collette, Jeffrey Wright, Richard Roundtree
Updated version re-starts the series with Sam Jackson playing Roundtree's nephew. Keeps the flavor of the original, as well as the ridiculous plot lines.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
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Shakes The Clown, 1991, Bob Goldthwait, Julie Brown, Paul Dooley, Florence Henderson
A comedy about a town full of alcoholic clowns. That premise alone should make this an automatic rental.
3 stars out of 5
____
Shakespeare In Love, 1998, Gwyneth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes, Judi Dench
In no way better than the film in beat for Best Picture, Saving Private Ryan, but still a truly great movie. Yes, it is manly to dig Shakespeare.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Shallow Grave, 1994, Kerry Fox, Chris Eccleston, Ewan McGregor
Good movie which explores the power money has over all of us.
4 stars out of 5
____
Shanghai Noon, 2000, Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Lucy Liu, Roger Yuan
Much better stunt work, humor, and plot can be found in Rush Hour. Not bad, but no naked Lucy Liu.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Shanty Tramp, 1966, Lee Holland, Kenneth Douglas
This rare classic had cajones long before movies were supposed to have cajones. The ending will knock your socks off.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
The Shawshank Redemption, 1994, Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman
One of the most worthwhile films to come out in years. This will remain a timeless classic.
5 stars out of 5
____
She's Having A Baby, 1988, Kevin Bacon, Elizabeth McGovern
OK but best remembered only if you play a lot of the Kevin Bacon Game.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
She's Out Of Control, 1989, Tony Danza, Catharine Hicks, Ami Dolenz, Wallace Shwan
Only good if you're a teenager with the hots for Ami Dolenz. I was when I saw this.
2 stars out of 5
____
The Shining, 1980, Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Scatman Crothers
One of Nicholson's crazier performances can't quite push this one to classic status, but it helps.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Shocker, 1989, Mitch Pileggi, Michael Murphy
It is amazing that Wes Craven continued to be financed by Hollywood studios after this flop. This will always be best remembered for the fact that Mitch Pileggi, better known as Assistant Director Skinner on The X-Files, stars as the main maniac (if it is to be remembered at all).
1 star out of 5
____
Short Circuit, 1986, Ally Sheedy, Steve Guttenberg, Fisher Stevens
Just as cheezy 70s comedy may be best summed up by watching Smokey And The Bandit, so may cheezy 80s comedy be summed up by watching this.
3˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Short Circuit 2, 1988, Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean
Money-grubbing sequel.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Showgirls, 1995, Elizabeth Berkeley, Kyle MacLachlan, Gina Gershon
Will it turn you on? Yes. Will you want to watch it again? Not unless you aren't getting any.
0 stars out of 5
____
Sid And Nancy, 1986, Gary Oldman, Chloe Webb
One of Oldman's first and best performances. Not a film for everyone, but good regardless.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Siege, 1998, Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis, Annette Bening
A promising start quickly leads to typical anti-military Hollywood propaganda and ridiculous melodrama. A good cast wasted.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Silence Of The Lambs, 1991, Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine
When was the last time a horror flick won Best Picture?
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Hannibal, 2001, Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore, Gary Oldman, Ray Liotta
A "good but different" kind of sequel. Hopkins again steals the show and Oldman is as wacked out as ever. Julianne is a good replacement since she has nicer boobs than Jodie Foster.
4 stars out of 5
____
Silent Movie, 1976, Mel Brooks, Marty Feldman, Dom DeLuise, Bernadette Peters, tons of other famous folks
A true Mel Brooks classic. It is indeed a silent film and it is very funny.
4 stars out of 5
____
Silent Night, Deadly Night, 1984, Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick
Dumb.
1˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, 1987, Eric Freeman, James L. Newman
And dumber.
1 star out of 5
____
Silver Bullet, 1985, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Corey Haim, Megan Follows
A Stephen King adaptation that doesn't suck.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Silverado, 1985, Kevin Kline, Scott Glenn, Kevin Costner, Danny Glover, Rosanna Arquette, John Cleese
One of those films that you're sure you will hate but that you can't help liking.
4 stars out of 5
____
Simon Birch, 1998, Joseph Mazello, Oliver Platt, Ian Michael Smith, David Strathaim, Ashley Judd
Shortened adaptation of John Irving's A Prayer For Owen Meany, it still retains the spirit and many of the same events of the book. Enjoyable to both guys and girls.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
A Simple Plan, 1998, Bill Paxton, Billy Bob Thornton, Bridget Fonda, Brent Briscoe
Predictable, but still a very solid film about money, greed, and the often dire consequences associated with both.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Sinbad And The Eye Of The Tiger, 1977, Patrick Wayne, Jane Seymour, Damien Thomas, Margaret Whiting
A feast for the kiddies; mostly a bore for the adults.
3 stars out of 5
____
Single White Female, 1992, Bridget Fonda, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Steven Weber, Peter Friedman
Can you say "tired old formula"?
2 stars out of 5
____
Singles, 1992, Bridget Fonda, Campbell Scott, Kyra Sedgewick, Matt Dillon, Sheila Kelley, Bill Pullman
Though "Generation Xers" like myself will try very hard to hate this movie, it is all too real to despise.
4 stars out of 5
____
Sixteen Candles, 1984, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Paul Dooley, Blanch Baker, Edward Andrews
Yet another John Hughes classic. And it is actually rated PG.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Sixth Sense, 1999, Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collete, Olivia Williams, Donnie Wahlberg
One of those rare movies that doubles as a freaky fright and chick flick. Definitely worth viewing.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Slacker, 1991, nobody but true slackers
If you have ever been to Austin, Texas, then you will appreciate this movie more.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Slap Shot, 1977, Paul Newman, Strother Martin, Michael Ontkean, Jennifer Warren
This one is still funny many years later. Paul Newman carries the film well in a role unlike any he had ever done then or now.
4 stars out of 5
____
Sleepers, 1996, Jason Patric, Robert DeNiro, Brad Pitt, Kevin Bacon, Minnie Driver
This would be impossible to watch if not for the great cast and acting. It's good, but a happy movie it isn't.
4 stars out of 5
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Sleepy Hollow, 1999, Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Casper Van Dien
A visual treat as most Tim Burton flicks are, but the plot stutters a bit near the end. Still, it's worth watching for all the manly beheadings alone.
4 stars out of 5
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Sling Blade, 1997, Billy Bob Thornton, Dwight Yoakam, J.T. Walsh
One of the more enjoyable films of the last few years.
5 stars out of 5
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Smokey And The Bandit, 1977, Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason, Pat McCormick
I would think that 20 years later this movie would really suck, but the truth is it is just as stupid and funny as ever. This is the 1970s in less than two hours.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Smokey And The Bandit II, 1980, Burt Reynolds, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason, Pat McCormack
More of the same but lacking something.
2˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Smokey And The Bandit III, 1983, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason, Pat McCormack, Paul Williams
Why?
1 star out of 5
____
Snatch, 2000, Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones
Funnier and more over-the-top than Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels.
4 stars out of 5
____
Soldier, 1998, Kurt Russell, Jason Scott Lee, Connie Nielsen, Gary Busey, Michael Chiklis
Don't expect much here. It is Rambo meets No Escape. And as with those two flicks, it has plenty of action, but almost zero substance.
2˝ stars out of 5
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A Soldier's Story, 1984, Howard Rollins Jr., Adolph Caesar
A movie about racism that doesn't come across as tired melodrama or too PC.
4 stars out of 5
____
Some Kind Of Wonderful, 1987, Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson, Lea Thompson, Craig Sheffer, John Ashton
Directed by Howard Deutch, who also directed Pretty In Pink, it isn't a John Hughes film, but you might think it is.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Somebody Up There Likes Me, 1956, Paul Newman, Pier Angeli, Everette Sloane, Sal Mineo
Paul Newman is hardly recognizable with his thick tough guy accent in this great biographical film about Rocky Graziano.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Something Wild, 1986, Jeff Daniels, Melanie Griffith, Ray Liotta
Before they were big stars, these three joined together for this quickly forgotten comical action flick. Worth a shot.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Somewhere In Time, 1980, Christopher Reeve, Jane Seymour, Christopher Plummer
Guys, take note!! Although this movie may be a bore in every way imaginable, it is every female's favorite movie!! Do what you wish with that knowledge.
2 stars out of 5
____
Sommersby, 1993, Richard Gere, Jodie Foster, Bill Pullman, James Earl Jones
This entire movie sucks until the end, which makes it worth watching.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Son-In-Law, 1993, Pauly Shore, Carla Gugino, Lane Smith
Surprisingly decent.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Soul Food, 1997, Vanessa Williams, Vuveca Fox, Irma P. Hall, Michael Beach, Brandon Hammond
Surprisingly pleasant, although not very manly in any particular way.
3 stars out of 5
____
Soul Man, 1986, C. Thomas Howell, Rae Dawn Chong, James Earl Jones, James B. Sikking
Great premise suffers from bad writing.
2 stars out of 5
____
South Park: Bigger, Longer, And Uncut, 1999, animated
I've seen plenty of crude movies, but this one takes the cake. Leave your social graces and inhibitions at the door, and you should find this to be about the funniest movie in a long, long time.
4 stars out of 5
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Southern Comfort, 1981, Powers Boothe, Keith Carradine, Fred Ward
Deliverance fans take note. The National Guard battles Louisiana rednecks.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Spaceballs, 1987, Rick Moranis, John Candy, Bill Pullman, Mel Brooks, Daphne Zuniga, Dick Van Patten
The last funny movie Mel Brooks has made.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Spacecamp, 1986, Kate Capshaw, Lea Thompson, Tom Skerritt, Kelly Preston
Kids film for sure that was released on the heals of the Challenger disaster.
3 stars out of 5
____
The Spanish Prisoner, 1998, Campbell Scott, Steve Martin, Rebecca Pidgeon, Ben Gazzara, Ricky Jay
A latter half full of twists and turns more than makes up for a rather slow start. It has a Hitchcockian feel and no bad words that might be harmful to the kiddies. But it is PG and therefore has no boobs and not nearly enough violence.
4 stars out of 5
____
Spanking The Monkey, 1994, Jeremy Davies, Alberta Watson, Carla Gallo
Extremely disturbing film but you just might find yourself laughing anyway. This goes in the "interesting" category.
3 stars out of 5
____
Spartacus, 1960, Kirk Douglas, Jean Simmons, Laurence Olivier, Peter Ustinov, Charles Laughton, Tony Curtis
I had no idea how much Braveheart owes to this classic until I sat down and watched it. This movie would be perfect if not for the latent homosexual scene that has been added to the new director's cut. Cut from the original release for being too controversial at the time, it can now also be stated that the scene really seems to serve no purpose except to be controversial. The movie flows better without it.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Species, 1995, Natasha Henstridge, Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker
One of the worst films of the modern era. And that is in spite of showing a very hot woman naked for nearly half the movie.
1 star out of 5
____
Species II, 1998, Natasha Henstridge, Michael Madsen, Marg Helgenberger
Probably the most unnecessary sequel in recent memory, but this one is much better than the original because (1) it has many more naked chicks, and (2) it doesn't become unbearably dumb until the last 30 minutes.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Speed, 1994, Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Daniels
Although Reeves can't act, the action in this dandy overshadows the plethora of nonactors, which also includes Sandra Bullock as a screaming heroine.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Sphere, 1998, Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, Samuel L. Jackson, Peter Coyote, Liev Schreiber
Yet another Michael Crichton adaptation, this one matches the confusion and atmosphere of the book, then trashes the ending.
3 stars out of 5
____
Spies Like Us, 1985, Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bruce Davison
Stupid but with enough funny parts to keep your attention.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Splash, 1984, Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah, John Candy, Eugene Levy
Something that both the chicks and men can watch.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Stalingrad, 1993, Thomas Kreischmann, Jochen Nickel, Sebastian Rudolph, Sylvester Groth
Wonderfully filmed German war flick suffers from melodrama and some stiff acting. Fans of Das Boot should find it worthwhile.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
Stand By Me, 1986, Will Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland, John Cusack, Richard Dreyfuss
A fine cast of the next generation of rat-packers and a great script make this a must.
4˝ stars out of 5
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Star Trek:
>>>>
Star Trek-- The Motion Picture, 1979, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan
It is hard not to be annoyed by this one and impossible not to be bored.
1˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan, 1982, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan
The coolest of all of them in my opinion. Ricardo Montalban as Khan steals the show.
4˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Star Trek III: The Search For Spock, 1984, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan
Another great installment in the series.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 1986, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan
Some cool moments are undermined by a "Save The Whales" communist plot.
3˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, 1989, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan
Captain Kirk meets God? Well most of this movie is good anyway.
3˝ stars out of 5
>>>>
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, 1991, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan
Solid action is somewhat laughable given the fact that all the stars (except Spock, of course) are now 600 pounds overweight.
4 stars out of 5
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Star Wars:
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Star Wars, 1977, Mark Hamill, Sir Alec Guinness, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher
Do I really need to review this?
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
The Empire Strikes Back, 1980, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams
Or this?
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Return Of The Jedi, 1983, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams
Or even this?
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 1999, Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd
Screw the critics. This one is every bit as enjoyable as the first three, although probably not as well rounded as the first two. Great light saber fights and special effects abound.
5 stars out of 5
____
Starman, 1984, Jeff Bridges, Karen Allen, Charles Martin Smith
Kooky film has Jeff Bridges playing an alien and acting like a puppy dog. Good regardless.
4 stars out of 5
____
Starship Troopers, 1997, Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards, Neil Patrick Harris
Unquestionably stupid space war movie gives you more reasons to hate bugs than you might have wanted. Yet in spite of the pervasive idiocy in this flick, it succeeds in the raging testosterone category and has some really nifty battle scenes.
3 stars out of 5
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State Of Grace, 1990, Sean Penn, Gary Oldman, Ed Harris, Robin Wright, John Turturro
Although it has arguably two of today's best actors, Penn and Oldman, this film is lacking something.
3 stars out of 5
____
Stay Tuned, 1992, John Ritter, Pam Dawber, Jeffrey Jones, Eugene Levy
This surprise is apt to be much better than anything John Ritter or Pam Dawber ever does again.
3˝ stars out of 5
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The Stepfather, 1987, Terry O'Quinn, Shelley Hack
This will get your attention.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
The Stepfather II, 1989, Terry O'Quinn, Meg Foster, Henry Brown, Jonathan Brandis
More of the same.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Stephen King's Graveyard Shift, 1990, David Andrews, Kelly Wolf, Brad Dourif, Stephen Macht
Gore fest and sucky everything.
1 star out of 5
____
Stone Cold, 1991, Brian Bosworth, Lance Henriksen, William Forsythe
Former University of Oklahoma football star Brian Bosworth, who once showed his disdain for an NCAA drug suspension by wearing a shirt proclaiming "National Communists Against Athletes" in the 1987 Orange Bowl, shows his manliness by kicking worthless biker scum ass.
3˝ stars out of 5
____
The Story Of Jack And Jill...And Jill, 1990s, Dana Plato
I don't know when this movie was made but it has Dana Plato naked...before she died, of course. She actually looks pretty decent naked a sucking face with whoever the chick is in this loser film. Rated only on account of the sex.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Strange Brew, 1983, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas, Max von Sydow
Real men unite! Although this is Canadian-made, it unites all true men everywhere under the universal manly symbol of beer.
4˝ stars out of 5
____
Strange Days, 1995, Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett, Juliette Lewis, Tom Sizemore
In spite of the promising cast, this film is lacking in about every way imaginable.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Straw Dogs, 1971, Dustin Hoffman, Susan George, Peter Vaughan, T. P. McKenna
This one is bound to raise some eyebrows. Directed by the King Of Manly Cinema, Sam Peckinpah, it will shock, surprise, outrage, and then at the end have you screaming for blood.
4 stars out of 5
____
Striking Distance, 1993, Bruce Willis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Tom Sizemore, Dennis Farina
Disappointing.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Stripes, 1981, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, John Candy, Warren Oates, Sean Young, P.J. Soles, John Larroquette
Out of all the films that deal with misfits in the army, this is easily the best.
4 stars out of 5
____
Suicide Kings, 1998, Christopher Walken, Henry Thomas, Sean Patrick Flanery
Denis Leary and Christopher Walken are the highlights in this better-than-average mystery. The ending is a bit of a letdown.
3 stars out of 5
____
The Super, 1991, Joe Pesci, Vincent Gardenia, Madolyn Smith, Ruben Blades
Nothing super here.
2 stars out of 5
____
Supercop, 1996, Jackie Chan, Michelle Khan
Action-packed, but without the usual crazy stunts that Chan is known for.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Superman:
>>>>
Superman, 1978, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder
Enjoyable for all.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Superman II, 1980, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty
The best of the rest.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Superman III, Christapher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Robert Vaughn
Trash.
1 star out of 5
>>>>
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, 1987, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Mariel Hemingway
Communist drivel.
1 star out of 5
____
Supernova, 2000, James Spader, Angela Bassett, Lou Diamond Phillips, Wilson Cruz, Robin Tunney
This movie is just plain stupid. It would be much better if not for the lame bad guy.
1˝ stars out of 5
____
Swamp Thing, 1982, Louis Jourdan, Adrienne Barbeau, Ray Wise, David Hess
How and why the Swamp Thing would ever fall for Adrienne Barbeau is beyond me.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
Swingers, 1996, Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Ron Livingston, Patrick Van Horn, Heather Graham
Oft-quoted movie that is really only envied among the wannabe crowd.
3 stars out of 5
____
Switch, 1991, Ellen Barkin, Jimmy Smits, JoBeth Williams, Perry King
OK film until it starts getting a bit homo-esque at the end.
2˝ stars out of 5
____
The Sword And The Sorcerer, 1982, Lee Horsley, Kathleen Beller, Simon MacCorkindale, Richard Lynch
Chalk this one up as another one of those films that is so bad it's good. Well, maybe not good. Let's just say fun. And there's boobies!
2˝ stars out of 5
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