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Caddyshack, 1980, Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, Ted Knight
Beer-swilling cinema at top form.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Caddyshack II, 1988, Jackie Mason, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Robert Stack, Dyan Cannon
Beer-hurling cinema at top form.
½ star out of 5
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Cadillac Man, 1990, Robin Williams, Tim Robbins, Pamela Reed, Fran Drescher
Amusing plus it has Fran Drescher for drooling effect.
3½ stars out of 5
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Calendar Girl, 1993, Jason Priestley
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I kind of liked it.
3 stars out of 5
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Cannonball Run, 1981, Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett
Fast cars and slow jokes.
1 star out of 5
>>>>
Cannonball Run II, 1984, Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin
The least-anticipated sequel in recent memory.
½ star out of 5
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Cape Fear, 1991, Robert DeNiro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis
Suspenseful remake of the original 1962 original
4 stars out of 5
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Carlito's Way, 1993, Al Pacino, Sean Penn
More great performances by Pacino and Penn. And a fantastic ending to boot.
4½ stars out of 5
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Carrie, 1976, Sissy Spacek, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Amy Irving
Apart from the fact that one has to endure a fully nude Sissy Spacek at the beginning, this movie still manages to hold up after 20+ years. One of the better 70s horror films.
4 stars out of 5
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Casino, 1995, Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Sharon Stone, James Woods
How bad can a film be when it is 3 hours long and full of violence? The part where Joe Pesci gets a hummer gives new hope to wimpy men everywhere.
4½ stars out of 5
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Cast Away, 2000, Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt, Nick Searcy
In spite of all the rave reviews, this movie did very little for me. A strong performance by Hanks, but nowhere near his best.
3½ stars out of 5
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Casual Sex?, 1988, Lea Thompson, Victoria Jackson, Mary Gross
Overrated look at sex when it was still casual.
2 stars out of 5
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Casualties Of War, 1989, Michael J. Fox, Sean Penn
Melodramatic nonsense about our commie-killing soldiers doing bad things in Vietnam.
2½ stars out of 5
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Cat People, 1982, Nastassja Kinski, Malcolm McDowell, John Heard, Ed Begley Jr.
Odd and fairly pointless movie is made bearable by occasional shots of a nude and bound Kinski. It kept my attention.
2 stars out of 5
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Cave Of The Living Dead, 1964, nobody famous
I think I saw this on USA late one night. It sucked.
1 star out of 5
____
Caveman, 1981, Ringo Starr, Barbara Bach, John Matuszak, Shelley Long, Dennis Quaid
Buy a case of cheap beer and laugh at how stupid it all is.
4 stars out of 5
____
Chain Reaction, 1996, Keanu Reeves, Morgan Freeman
Lots of explosions fail to disguise what is essentially just an average action tale.
3 stars out of 5
____
Chances Are, 1989, Cybill Shepard, Robert Downey Jr., Ryan O'Neal, Mary Stuart Masterson
Surprisingly funny flick about reincarnation BS.
3 stars out of 5
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Chariots Of Fire, 1981, Ben Cross, Ian Charleson
Solid look at a bunch of running British wimps in the 20s.
4 stars out of 5
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Chasing Amy, 1997, Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Jason Lee, Dwight Ewell, Jason Mewes
In the vulgar tradition of the people who brought you Clerks and Mallrats comes this beauty. It's hilarious and vile, but a bit too bittersweet at the end for my tastes.
4 stars out of 5
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Children Of The Corn, 1984, Peter Horton, Linda Hamilton
Pretty awful but somehow I always get stuck watching it when it comes on the tube.
2 stars out of 5
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Child's Play, 1988, Catharine Hicks, Chris Sarandon, Brad Dourif
I find it very difficult to badmouth a villain as cool and downright evil as Chucky.
3 stars out of 5
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C.H.O.M.P.S., 1979, Wesley Eure, Valerie Bertinelli, Conrad Bain
Typically 70s movie about a bionic dog of all things.
1½ stars out of 5
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A Christmas Story, 1983, Peter Billingsley, Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon
Who needs It's A Wonderful Life when the best Christmas movie is right here? There's so more truth to this movie that it's scary.
5 stars out of 5
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The Cider House Rules, 1999, Tobey Maguire, Charlize Theron, Michael Caine, Delroy Lindo, Erykah Badu
A mostly-faithful adaptation of the modern classic which unfortunately self-destructs with a tidy and all-too-quick ending.
3½ stars out of 5
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Citizen Kane, 1941, Orson Welles, Joseph Cotton
Best film ever? No way. Though it was way ahead of its time, it still has a pretty lame plot. Any movie about a guy still thinking about his boyhood sled on his deathbed is suspect. I wonder why Joe McCarthy didn't go after Welles.
3½ stars out of 5
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City Of Angels, 1998, Nicolas Cage, Meg Ryan
These types of movies are generally a big turn-off for me unless they break with the conventional Hollywood kind of ending. This one does and, as such, is a watchable chick flick.
3½ stars out of 5
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City Slickers, 1991, Billy Crystal, Bruno Kirby, Daniel Stern, Jack Palance
Jack Palance drives some sense into a bunch of yankee scumbags.
4 stars out of 5
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City Slickers II, 1994, Billy Crystal, Jon Lovitz, Daniel Stern, Jack Palance
Again, Jack Palance is forced to save the day.
3½ stars out of 5
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Clan Of The Cave Bear, 1986, Daryl Hannah, Pamela Reed
Cave chicks were never this hot.
2 stars out of 5
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Clash Of The Titans, 1981, Harry Hamlin, Laurence Olivier, Burgess Meredith
Enjoyable fantasy with hokey special effects.
3 stars out of 5
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Cleopatra, 1964, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Rex Harrison, Hume Cronyn, George Cole
A notorious bust in Hollywood's history, all the trouble is evident in the final product. A rousing spectacle and well-acted one at that, the cutting of this movie from the originally intended six hours down to four makes what would have been a very good movie only somewhat good.
3 stars out of 5
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Clerks, 1994, Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson
Funny and crude. The perfect manly venture.
4 stars out of 5
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The Client, 1994, Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones
Disappointing film is saved only by another great performance from Jones.
2½ stars out of 5
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Cliffhanger, 1993, Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner
Typically terrible Stallone film. Lithgow makes it tolerable.
2 stars out of 5
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Clifford, 1994, Martin Short, Charles Grodin
Moronic.
1 star out of 5
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A Clockwork Orange, 1971, Malcolm McDowell, Patrick Magee
Very hard film to watch but one that will keep you thinking long after it's over.
4 stars out of 5
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Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, 1977, Richard Dreyfuss, Teri Garr
Any aliens this wimpy should be annihilated by humankind.
4 stars out of 5
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Cobra, 1986, Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen
Another terrible action film from the master.
1½ stars out of 5
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Cocktail, 1988, Tom Cruise, Elizabeth Shue
A movie about booze can't be that bad. Wrong.
1 star out of 5
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Cocoon, 1985, Wilford Brimley, Don Ameche, Steve Guttenberg
Old farts' fantasy.
4 stars out of 5
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Cocoon : The Return, 1988, Wilford Brimley, Don Ameche, Steve Guttenberg, Courteney Cox
Old farts' fantasy on the deathbed.
3½ stars out of 5
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Color Of Night, 1994, Bruce Willis, Jane March
Easily Bruce Willis' worst film and probably Jane March's best. Rent the director's cut version so that you at least get your money's worth of them humping.
½ star out of 5
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Coming Home, 1978, Jane Fonda, Jon Voight, Bruce Dern
It is clear that Hanoi Jane attempts to rehabilitate her commie image in this one. It's a powerful film, but wallows too much in self-importance at the end. But you do get to see a naked Jane before she got her boob job.
4 stars out of 5
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Coming To America, Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones, John Amos
One of Eddie Murphy's best.
4½ stars out of 5
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Commando, 1986, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong
This movie should be enough to convince anyone not to cross Arnold.
3½ stars out of 5
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Common Bonds, 1991, Rae Dawn Chong, Michael Ironside, Brad Dourif
Rather silly film about some convict dork falling for a hot babe.
2 stars out of 5
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Con Air, 1997, Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney
Nicolas Cage buffs up for yet another script that takes him to Las Vegas. Thoroughly enjoyable action from start to finish.
4 stars out of 5
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Conan The Barbarian, 1982, Arnold Schwarzenegger
This is obviously the greatest achievement in the long, illustrious history of Hollywood filmmaking.
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Conan The Destroyer, 1984, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain
The biggest mistake in Hollywood's history was creating a sequel to the first Conan that didn't carry an R rating. The second biggest was casting Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain in the film. And the third biggest was making this too much of a fairy tale. I'd rather watch Arnold lop off James Earl Jones' head and badmouth Krom any day of the week.
2½ stars out of 5
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Consenting Adults, 1992, Kevin Kline, Kevin Spacey
Ridiculous plot leads to ridiculous circumstances among ridiculous adults.
1½ star out of 5
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Conspiracy Theory, 1997, Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts, Patrick Stewart
This is probably one of the most far-fetched and ridiculous movies to ever have such big name stars. Fortunately for the film, the pacing and the stars make it watchable.
2½ stars out of 5
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The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover, 1990, Michael Gambon, Helen Mirren
Fantastic and disgusting film is not for all tastes. But it was tailor-made for mine.
4 stars out of 5
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The Cool Surface, 1993, Robert Patrick, Teri Hatcher
I originally got this just to see Teri Hatcher naked and the movie was better than I thought.
2½ stars out of 5
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Cool World, 1992, Gabriel Byrne, Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt
Good idea. Decent movie.
3 stars out of 5
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Cop Land, 1998, Sylvester Stallone, Harvey Kietel, Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro
Even Stallone is good in this one. Definitely a manly flick with plenty of manly men and few flaws.
4 stars out of 5
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Cousins, 1989, Ted Danson, Isabella Rossellini
The movie that convinced me Isabella Rossellini is the hottest woman alive.
4 stars out of 5
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The Crawling Eye, 1958, Forrest Tucker, Janet Munro
Very cool classic horror from the 50s.
3 stars out of 5
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Creepshow, 1982, Hal Holbrooke, Adrienne Barbeau, Leslie Nielson
A series of strange, bizzare, and funny tales about death, destruction, and mayhem.
3½ stars out of 5
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Crimson Tide, 1995, Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman
Good film has Denzel Washington mouthing off to his senior officer.
4 stars out of 5
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Crocodile Dundee, 1986, Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski
An Aussie comes to New York and strikes fear in the heart of a bunch of city boys.
4 stars out of 5
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Crocodile Dundee II, 1988, Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski
Mostly a rehash of the original but not as good.
3 stars out of 5
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Cross Of Iron, 1977, James Coburn, Maximilian Schell, James Mason, David Warner
Very good war movie that is more attractive with Sam Peckinpah's style than the much-loved The Wild Bunch is.
4 stars out of 5
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The Crow, 1994, Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson
Completely overblown but full of great visuals and heavy on atmosphere. Don't expect a lot of brainpower however.
3 stars out of 5
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Crumb, 1995, documentary
Based on the infamous cartoonist, this is one of the strangest documentaries ever created. It's also pretty darn funny.
4½ stars out of 5
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The Crying Game, 1992, Stephen Rea, Miranda Richardson, Forest Whitaker, Jaye Davidson
Without question the single most unmanly film ever made. A real man falls for a chick who happens to be a guy. When he finds out the hard way, he opts to pursue he/she/it anyway. Completely unrealistic. A real Irishman would have blown the transvestite's head clean off.
0 stars out of 5
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Cube, 1997, Nicole de Boer, Nicky Guadagni, David Hewlett, Andrew Miller, Julian Richings
Made at a cost of probably no more than three cents, it is a curious, but unltimately unfulfilling (due most likely to budget constrictions) film.
2 stars out of 5
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Cujo, 1983, Dee Wallace
Completely awesome film about a family pet that becomes rabid and starts mauling people.
4 stars out of 5
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Cyborg, 1989, Jean-Claude Van Damme
Jean-Claude will never be anything close to Arnold. Especially with that wussy name of his.
1 star out of 5
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Dances With Wolves, 1990, Kevin Costner, Mary McDonnell
Thankfully, this film concentrates more on nice scenery and a well-formed story than it does Costner's acting inabilities.
4½ stars out of 5
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Dangerous Beauty, 1998, Catherine McCormack, Rufus Sewell, Oliver Platt
Feminazi claptrap + chick flick plot = Catherine McCormack naked.
2½ stars out of 5
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Dangerous Liaisons, 1989, Glen Close, John Malkovich, Michelle Pfeiffer, Uma Thurman, Keanu Reeves
Truly great film about a womanizer. Plus you get to see Uma's jugs. What nice jugs they are.
5 stars out of 5
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D.A.R.Y.L., 1985, Barret Oliver, Mary Beth Hurt, Michael McKean
Typical 80s sci-fi robotic child hogwash.
2 stars out of 5
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Das Boot, 1981, Jurgen Prochnow, Herbert Gronemeyer
A movie that can be fully appreciated with the newer subtitled Director's Cut widescreen re-release. A war masterpiece, even though it is about the Krauts.
5 stars out of 5
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Dave, 1993, Kevin Kline, Sigourney Weaver, Frank Langella, Ben Kingsley
Sorry comedy about a president who turns from a real man into a mega-wuss because of a chick.
2 stars out of 5
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Dazed And Confused, 1993, Jason London, Rory Cochrane, Adam Goldberg, Anthony Rapp, Milla Jovovich
Austin filmmaker Richard Linklater's best film about one day and night in the quintessential 70s.
4½ stars out of 5
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Dead Again, 1991, Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson
Original mystery suffers from melodrama.
3 stars out of 5
____
Dead Alive, 1992, cast of nobodies
Fantastic piece of drivel sure to make you puke. A monkey's bite curses the hero's mother to eternal zombie-ness. In time, more and more zombies begin to appear and the blood spills. Rent this one for your children.
4 stars out of 5
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Dead Calm, 1989, Sam Neill, Nicole Kidman, Billy Zane
Very cool flick about a whackjob, a guy, and his wife in the middle of the ocean.
4 stars out of 5
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Dead Man Walking, 1995, Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon
Great drama that looks at the death penalty in a surprisingly impartial way. Even though director Tim Robbins would have it otherwise, 99.9% of people would have still fried Sean Penn in the end.
5 stars out of 5
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Dead Poet's Society, 1989, Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, Ethan Hawke
Solid performances hold up a rather hokey Hollywood-ish script.
3½ stars out of 5
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Deal Of The Century, 1983, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Gregory Hines
One of the first of a long line of bad Chevy Chase films.
1½ stars out of 5
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Death Becomes Her, 1992, Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, Isabella Rossellini
This is actually pretty funny.
4 stars out of 5
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Death Wish IV: The Crackdown, 1987, Charles Bronson
I'm ashamed to admit that this is the only one I've seen.
1½ stars out of 5
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The Deep, 1977, Robert Shaw, Jacqueline Bisset, Nick Nolte, Lou Gossett Jr.
Average underwater action film.
2½ stars out of 5
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Deep Cover, 1992, Laurence Fishburne, Jeff Goldblum
Cool cop flick with lots of good violence.
3½ stars out of 5
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Deep Impact, 1998, Robert Duvall, Tea Leoni, Elijah Wood, Morgan Freeman
A bit more serious than its cousin Armageddon but not nearly as fun since you don't get to see Paris bite the dust.
3½ stars out of 5
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Deepstar Six, 1989, Taurean Blacque, Nancy Everhard, Nia Peeples
Terrible rehash of Leviathan, which was in turn a terrible rehash of Alien.
1 star out of 5
____
The Deer Hunter, 1979, Robert DeNiro, Christopher Walken, Meryl Streep, John Cazale, John Savage
The first truly fantastic Vietnam movie.
5 stars out of 5
____
Deep Rising, 1998, Treat Williams, Famke Janssen, Kevin J. O'Connor, Anthony Heald, Wes Studi
A pleasant surprise for such a formulaic plot. Humor and good action keep this one from failing.
3½ stars out of 5
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Deliverance, 1972, Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty
A guy is forced to become a real man after one friend is mangled and the other one is cornholed right in front of his eyes. A definite classic. Oink, oink.
5 stars out of 5
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Demolition Man, 1993, Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock
It has its share of ridiculous scenarios, but overall this is pretty enjoyable.
3 stars out of 5
____
Desperately Seeking Susan, 1984, Rosanna Arquette, Madonna
Decent stereotypical 80s flick.
3 stars out of 5
____
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, 1999, Rob Schneider, William Forsythe, Arija Bareikis, Eddie Griffin, Oded Fehr
This one surprised me because it was actually funny. Hard to believe.
3 stars out of 5
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The Devil's Advocate, 1997, Keanu Reeves, Al Pacino, Charlize Theron, Judith Ivey, Jeffrey Jones, Craig T. Nelson
A film that surprises in that it (1) is actually a lot of fun, (2) shows that Keanu Reeves has some acting abilities, and (3) has two full frontal nudity scenes with two different women.
4 stars out of 5
____
Dick Tracy, 1990, Warren Beatty, Madonna, Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, James Caan, lots more
Pretty good live action film of the famous comic strip.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Die Hard, 1988, Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, Alexander Gudunov
Under no circumstances did I think Bruce Willis could pass as a true stud. I remember seeing trailers to this flick and laughing at the sight of Bruce Willis in his torn shirt as a Rambo wannabe. Well, boy was I surprised when this movie kicked ass. When it was over, I wanted to worship the Willis God.
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Die Hard 2: Die Harder, 1990, Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, WIlliam Atherton, Dennis Franz
Good sequel, but it can't match the original. Nothing like seeing death via an icicle through the eyeball though.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Die Hard With A Vengeance, 1995, Bruce Willis, Jeremy Irons, Samuel L. Jackson
Weakest of the trilogy, it's still worth the rental.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Diner, 1982, Mickey Rourke, Ellen Barkin, Kevin Bacon (of course), Daniel Stern, Paul Reiser, Steve Guttenberg
Good but overrated film about some guys in the 50s just being guys. They do their thing, then meet up at the end of every night at the local Diner to swap stories. Mickey Rourke is the serious Mac Daddy as always and the rest of cast is pretty good as well, but somehow I felt like I was watching a melodramatic interpretation of Porky's.
3 stars out of 5
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Dirty Dancing, 1987, Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey
Makes Footloose look like award-winning material.
½ star out of 5
____
The Dirty Dozen, 1967, Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, Donald Sutherland
Some of the best action films were made when people still knew who Ernest Borgnine was.
4 stars out of 5
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Dirty Harry:
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Dirty Harry, 1971, Clint Eastwood, Andrew Robinson
The first, the best.
4½ stars out of 5
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Magnum Force, 1973, Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook, David Soul, Tim Matheson, Robert Urich
Probably the worst of the series, but Callahan still manages to kick ass and take names.
3 stars out of 5
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The Enforcer, 1976, Clint Eastwood, Tyne Daly
Solid film except that Tyne Daly is a fat ugly pig.
4 stars out of 5
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Sudden Impact, 1983, Clint Eastwood, Sandra Locke
After a long layoff, Dirty Harry returns to reak havoc and tries to teach Sandra Locke how to act.
4 stars out of 5
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The Dead Pool, 1988, Clint Eastwood, Liam Neeson
Harpoon death sequence is definitely an original.
4 stars out of 5
____
Disclosure, 1994, Michael Douglas, Demi Moore, Donald Sutherland, Dennis Miller
Solid film benefits from a very sexy Demi Moore getting it on with Michael Douglas.
4 stars out of 5
____
Doc Hollywood, 1991, Michael J. Fox, Julie Warner, Bridget Fonda, Woody Harrelson
Solid comedy about a city boy who finds out that country lovin' is worth going back to.
4 stars out of 5
____
Dr. Giggles, 1992, Larry Drake, Holly Marie Combs
Not as bad as I thought it would be but that isn't saying much.
1½ stars out of 5
____
Dr. Strangelove (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb), Peter Sellers, George C. Scott
Outstanding satire that reminds you just how cool the Cold War really was. Bring back the commies.
4½ stars out of 5
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Dogma, 1999, Linda Florentino, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Chris Rock, Alan Rickman
Funny but somewhat disappointing fourth film from Kevin Smith of Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy fame, or infamy. Worth the rental though, if only to see that Linda Florentino still looks hot.
3 stars out of 5
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Dolores Claiborne, 1995, Kathy Bates, Jennifer Jason Leigh
I finished watching this and realized that I had not formulated an opinion one way or another.
2½ stars out of 5
____
Donnie Brasco, 1997, Johnny Depp, Al Pacino, Michael Madsen
Very well acted and well done, but not as good as it could be.
3½ stars out of 5
____
The Doom Generation, 1995, James Duvall, Rose McGowan, Johnathon Schaech
I don't care if you've seen everything: this movie is still bound to shock you in one way or another. But it's OK.
2½ stars out of 5
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The Doors, 1991, Val Kilmer, Meg Ryan
The transitive property says that if Val Kilmer is Jim Morrison (which he most certainly is), then he can only be as good as Jim Morrison was. The end product depends on whether or not you think Morrison was actually cool, or just an another dead martyred musician.
3 stars out of 5
____
Double Impact, 1991, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Geoffrey Lewis
So-so flick which, fortunately for the viewing audience, has Jean-Claude in two roles.
2½ stars out of 5
____
Double Jeopardy, 1999, Tommy Lee Jones, Ashley Judd, Benjamin Weir, Jay Brazeau
Nothing original, but lots of shots of Ashley Judd's covered butt, as well as a good revenge theme. Tommy Lee Jones is good as usual.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Down And Out In Beverly Hills, 1986, Bette Midler, Nick Nolte, Richard Dreyfuss
The thought of Bette Midler fooling around with anyone is ludicrous.
3 stars out of 5
____
Dracula, 1931, Bela Lugosi
Though cheesy by today's standards, this is still one of the best.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Dracula, 1979, Frank Langella, Laurence Olivier, Donald Pleasence
Decent remake of the classic story.
2 stars out of 5
____
Dragonheart, 1996, Dennis Quaid, (voice of) Sean Connery
Surprisingly good film about a talking dragon. It's no Puff The Magic Dragon, but at times Dennis Quaid's nonexistant British accent makes you wish that Puff would appear out of nowhere and kill his ass.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Dragonslayer, 1981, Peter MacNicol, Caitlin Clarke, Ralph Richardson
A good story and good special effects for the time.
3½ stars out of 5
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The Dream Team, 1989, Michael Keaton, Christopher Lloyd, Peter Boyle, Stephen Furst
Funny story about a bunch of loonies running amok.
4 stars out of 5
____
Dreamscape, 1984, Dennis Quaid, Max Van Sydow, Kate Capshaw
Decent sci-fi farce.
3 stars out of 5
____
Driving Miss Daisy, 1989, Jessica Tandy, Morgan Freeman, Dan Aykroyd
Dan Aykroyd's last (or only?) good movie. Fortunately, his role is minimal.
4 stars out of 5
____
Drop Dead Fred, 1991, Phoebe Cates, Rik Mayall
Surprisingly underrated film about a very rude and crude childhood friend. It was right up my alley.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Drugstore Cowboy, 1989, Matt Dillon, Kelly Lynch
Overrated movie about a junkie.
2½ stars out of 5
____
Dumb And Dumber, 1994, Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Teri Garr, Karen Duffy
The real amusement in this is Jeff Daniels as the dumber brother.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Dune, 1984, Kyle MacLachlan, Sting
Undeniably the most boring epic ever made.
½ star out of 5
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E.T. - The Extra-Terrestrial, 1982, Dee Wallace, Peter Coyote, Henry Thomas, Drew "I was hot at age 5" Barrymore
Definitely an original as well as a classic. I personally was hoping that E.T. would eat some of those Reese's Pieces, discover that his alien stomach couldn't digest chocolate, and then explode his guts all over Elliot's room. Just a thought. Oh. Another thing. Look for a very young Erika Eleniak as the girl Henry Thomas kisses in the classroom.
5 stars out of 5
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Easy Rider, 1969, Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, Jack Nicholson
The biker classic has always been overrated in my book, but generally it's a good film. Watch for Toni Basil (of "Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind" fame) as the naked chick on drugs in the graveyard scene near the end.
3½ stars out of 5
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Eat, Drink, Man, Woman, 1994, lots of Chinamen
(Foreign) Extremely good film about a family's modern-day trials and tribulations in the old-guard mindset of Taiwan.
4½ stars out of 5
____
Ed Wood, 1994, Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker, Bill Murray, Patricia Arquette, Jeffrey Jones
Surprisingly amusing film about the worst filmmaker known to man.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Edge, 1997, Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Elle Macpherson
An odd role for Hopkins, but he's good as always. The movie is definitely of the man variety, as two slickers are forced to become real men when stalked by a bear. Worth seeing for the when one guy gets eaten by the bear alone.
3½ stars out of 5
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Edward Scissorhands, 1990, Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Anthony Michael Hall, Alan Arkin
If you had lethal weapons for hands, would you be a hair stylist? Gimme a break.
3 stars out of 5
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The Eiger Sanction, 1975, Clint Eastwood, George Kennedy, Vonetta McGee, Jack Cassidy
Clint does 007 in this one, except that he's funnier, more of a tough guy, and you actually get to see his women naked.
4 stars out of 5
____
Eight Men Out, 1988, Charlie Sheen, John Cusack, Christopher Lloyd
Solid baseball film about the 1919 Black Sox scandal. Regardless of what happened, Shoeless Joe should be in Cooperstown.
4 stars out of 5
____
El Cid, 1961, Charlton Heston, Sophia Loren
One of the best visual spectacles ever put on film, even if the story is a bit contrived.
4 stars out of 5
____
Election, 1999, Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Thora Birch, Molly Hagen, Colleen Camp
A truly funny endeavor that will remind many of characters they knew in high school. The surprising amount of raunch makes it even better than it might otherwise be.
4 stars out of 5
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The Emerald Forest, 1985, Powers Boothe, Meg Foster, Charley Boorman
Decent film with enough naked women to hold one's interest.
3 stars out of 5
____
End Of Days, 1999, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Kevin Pollak, Robin Tunney
Needlessly lambasted by critics, this movie is not the end of cinema as we know it. That's not to say that it's a great flick, but it is better than ok. I mean, it is Arnold vs. Satan, folks.
3 stars out of 5
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Enemy At The Gates, 2000, Jude Law, Joseph Fiennes, Ed Harris, Rachel Weisz, Bob Hoskins, Ron Perlman
An astounding disappointment after such a strong beginning. This relies far too heavily on romantic melodrama that I care absolutely nothing about. Rachel Weisz does have a nice ass though.
3 stars out of 5
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Enemy Mine, 1985, Dennis Quaid, Lou Gossett Jr.
Cheesy space-brained plot with guys having babies.
2 stars out of 5
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Enemy Of The State, 1998, Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight, Regina King, Lisa Bonet
Super action would be even better if not for the anti-Republican Hollywood commie establishment sounding off. Oh well.
3½ stars out of 5
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The English Patient, 1996, Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe
This Oscar winner has great acting, fantastic cinematography, but an underdeveloped cast of characters.
4 stars out of 5
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Enter The Dragon, 1973, Bruce Lee, John Saxon, Jim Kelly
The can't-miss introductory Bruce Lee film to those who never appreciated him.
4 stars out of 5
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Entrapment, 1999, Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames, Will Patton
A standard big-budget action picture with a truly probably plot about stealing a billion things which aren't well guarded and some hot chick lusting after Sean Connery. Then again, she's doing Michael Douglas so I guess anything is possible.
3½ stars out of 5
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Eraser, 1996, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vanessa Williams, James Caan
Arnold's best movie in recent years features him as a CIA killing machine forced to battle his own. Vanessa Williams gave me a woody.
4½ stars out of 5
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Erin Brockovich, 2000, Julia Roberts, Albert Finney, David Brisbin, Dawn Didawick
Surprisingly funny and even crass, but not worthy of the Oscar hype surrounding the film or its cast.
3½ stars out of 5
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Escape From Alcatraz, 1979, Clint Eastwood, Patrick McGoohan
Clint Eastwood goes to prison. Good stuff.
4 stars out of 5
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Escape From New York, 1981, Kurt Russell, Ernest Borgnine, Adrienne Barbeau, Lee Van Cleef, Donald Pleasence
Turning NYC into a national prison is the best idea since dropping the atomic bomb on France.
4 stars out of 5
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Every Which Way But Loose, 1978, Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Ruth Gordon
Your typical 70s movie about a tough guy and his tough orangutan.
3½ stars out of 5
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Any Which Way You Can, 1980, Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Ruth Gordon
An early 80s movie stuck in a 70s land. Obviously, this film was made to rake in the big bucks.
1½ stars out of 5
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Evil Dead, 1982, Bruce Campbell
The original is a much more serious venture than its successors, but any movie that has a horny tree in it is OK by me.
3½ stars out of 5
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Evil Dead 2, 1987, Bruce Campbell
This is the original remade add slapstick. One of the most enjoyable gore-fests ever made.
4½ stars out of 5
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Army Of Darkness, 1993, Bruce Campbell
It's no Evil Dead 2, but the comedy is still there and it's still better than most of the trash out there.
4 stars out of 5
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Excalibur, 1981, Nicol Williamson, Nigel Terry, Helen Mirren, Nicholas Clay
Amazing and by far the best adaptation of the Arthurian legends. And it even has a bit of sex for brownie point purposes.
5 stars out of 5
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The Exorcist, 1973, Linda Blair, Ellen Burstyn, Max Von Sydow, Jason Miller
This timeless horror flick is guaranteed to fright.
5 stars out of 5
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Exotica, 1994, Bruce Greenwood, Mia Kirshner
The emphasis here is apparently more on atmosphere than plot.
2 stars out of 5
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Eyes Wide Shut, 1999, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman
Pretentious and stupid sexcapade is a bad way for Stanley Kubrick to go out. Not even the plethora of naked women can save it.
1½ stars out of 5
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