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J thru M
JKLM


J

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Jack Frost, 1997, Scott MacDonald, Chris Allport, Stephen Mendel, F. William Parker

One-liners and quirky direction help this otherwise dumb horror flick that includes one of the most tasteless scenes in cinema history: death by snowman molestation.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Jackie Brown, 1997, Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Robert DeNiro, Michael Keaton

Not typical Tarantino by any means and slow at times, but otherwise another solid effort.

4 stars out of 5

____

Jacob's Ladder, 1990, Tim Robbins, Elizabeth Peña, Danny Aiello

If you get past the rather irrelevant politics of it, in the end you have as close to spiritual cinema as you can get.  An interesting and thoroughly engrossing account of what it's like when one dies. It's done in a way of questionable taste, but the end result is that you won't soon forget about the movie.

4½ stars out of 5

____

Jade, 1995, David Caruso, Linda Florentino, Chazz Palminteri

Not only does this movie suck, but its advertisements were all a tease! I'm suing!

1 star out of 5

____

Jagged Edge, 1985, Glenn Close, Jeff Bridges, Peter Coyote

Predictable and not enough shots of Glenn Close naked.  But not bad.

3 stars out of 5

____

The January Man, 1989, Kevin Kline, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Harvey Keitel, Alan Rickman, Danny Aiello

A great cast can't pull this movie up from mediocrity.

2 stars out of 5

____

Jaws, 1975, Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton

The first and by far the best in the maneating shark series. After 20 plus years, this one is still a winner.

5 stars out of 5

>>>>

Jaws 2, 1978, Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton

This movie embodies 70s beachwear to me for some odd reason.  Not as good as its predecessor, but still fun.

3 stars out of 5

>>>>

Jaws 3, 1983, Lou Gossett Jr., Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong

Even a mangled fishhead seemingly floating out of the screen in the original theatrical 3D release can't salvage this stinky bait.

1½ stars out of 5

>>>>

Jaws: The Revenge, 1987, Bess Armstrong, Michael Caine, Mario Van Peebles, Lance Guest

Did you ever notice how most sequels that fall just under the 90 minute mark suck? There's a reason: lack of script.

1 star out of 5

____

Jennifer 8, 1992, Andy Garcia, Uma Thurman, Lance Henricksen, John Malkovich, Kathy Baker

So-so mystery is aided by a naked Uma Thurman (although I've heard it's only a body double).

3 stars out of 5

____

The Jerk, 1979, Steve Martin, Bernadette Peters, Jackie Mason

Without question Steve Martin's best comedy. A requirement for all video collections.

4½ stars out of 5

____

JFK, 1991, Kevin Costner, Sissy Spacek, Joe Pesci, Kevin Bacon, Gary Oldman, John Candy, etc...

Made by Hollywood's most infamous commie director, this overlong piece of conspiracist's propaganda is actually not too bad.  Problem is, too much of it just isn't true.  Imagine that.

3 stars out of 5

____

Johnny Dangerously, 1984, Michael Keaton, Joe Piscopo, Marilu Henner

Amusing spoof on gangster films.

3 stars out of 5

____

Judgement Night, 1993, Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr., Denis Leary

Surprisingly good movie is helped by Leary and a good soundtrack.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Juice, 1992, Omar Epps, Tupac Shakur

Overblown in typical liberal fashion.

2 stars out of 5

____

Jumpin' Jack Flash, 1986, Whoopi Goldberg, Stephen Collins, Annie Potts, John Wood, James Belushi Carol Kane

One of Whoopi's better movies, if that's really saying much.

3 stars out of 5

____

Junior, 1994, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Danny DeVito, Emma Thompson

Arnold gets pregnant.  This is clearly his lowest cinematic moment.

1 star out of 5

____

Jurassic Park, 1993, Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough

Yet another solidly constructed film from Steven Spielberg.  Of course the book was better.

4 stars out of 5

>>>>

The Lost World: Jurassic Park, 1997, Jeff Goldblum

Sequel matches the original and in some ways exceeds it (particularly with the special effects).

4½ stars out of 5

____

Just Cause, 1995, Sean Connery, Laurence Fishburne, Kate Capshaw, Blair Underwood, Ed Harris

Very good suspense film keeps you guessing until the very end.

4 stars out of 5

____

K

____

K-9, 1989, James Belushi, Mel Harris

Surprisingly amusing film about a cop and his dog partner.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Kalifornia, 1993, Brad Pitt, Juliette Lewis, David Duchovny, Michelle Forbes

In case some of you men out there lost sight somewhere along the way that Brad Pitt is actually pretty cool, just watch this little feel-gooder. It'll make you forget the fact that your woman wants to jump his bones.  It might make your woman forget too.

4 stars out of 5

____

Kama Sutra, 1997, Naveen Andrews, Sarita Choudhury

Lavish skin flick is nice on the eyes in more ways than one, but plot-wise it makes you want to barf.

2½ stars out of 5

____

The Karate Kid, 1984, Ralph Pussio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue

Give me some credit.  I was the one person in the US who thought this was trash when it came out.

2 stars out of 5

>>>>

The Karate Kid Part II, 1986, Ralph Pussio, Pat Morita

And then people started to rethink their opinion on the first movie when this came out.

1½ stars out of 5

>>>>

The Karate Kid Part III, 1989, Ralph Pussio, Pat Morita

And then an entire nation knew that I was right and that this entire pathetic film series had been a sham.

1 star out of 5

____

Kids, 1995, Leo Fitzpatrick, Justin Pierce, Chloe Sevigny, Sarah Henderson

Fantastic movie that is guaranteed to disturb in some way, shape, or form.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Killer, 1989, Chow Yun Fat, Danny Lee

(Foreign) John Woo's completely cool film about a hitman and a cop who meet up somewhere in the middle.  Lots of shootings, blood, and death. Never a dull moment.

5 stars out of 5

____

The Killing Fields, 1984, Sam Waterson, Haing S. Ngor, Julian Sands, John Malkovich, Craig T. Nelson

Excellent movie that made me want to wear black pajamas and eat dogs.

4½ stars out of 5

____

Killing Zoe, 1994, Eric Stoltz, Jean-Hugues Anglade, Julie Delpy

Somehow, all these Quentin Tarantino-writtenflicks have the same underlying theme but manage to distinguish themselves in different ways.

4 stars out of 5

____

Kindergarten Cop, 1990, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Pamela Reed

Arnold in probably his best comedy role. Fun for everyone, even die hard Arnold fans like me who'd much rather see him decapitate someone in a Conan sequel.

4 stars out of 5

____

King Kong, 1933, Robert Armstrong, Fay Wray, Bruce Cabot

A great story in addition to amazing special effects for the time. An undisputed classic.

5 stars out of 5

____

King Kong, 1976, Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange, Charles Grodin

So-so remake.

2½ stars out of 5

____

King Of New York, 1990, Christopher Walken, Laurence Fishburne, David Caruso, Wesley Snipes

A violent and depressing movie from Abel Ferrara?  Never! Better than Bad Lieutenant.

4 stars out of 5

____

King Ralph, 1991, John Goodman, Peter O'Toole, John Hurt

I didn't actually pay money to rent this or see it at the theater.  I saw it on network TV... and it wasn't half-bad.  Predictable but better than you'd think.

3 stars out of 5

____

Kinjite (Forbidden Subjects), 1989, Charles Bronson, Perry Lopez, Peggy Lipton

Any movie with a parenthetical title is usually bad. This one sucks.

1 star out of 5

____

L

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L.A. Confidential, 1997, Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, James Cromwell, Kim Basinger, Danny DeVito

Entertaining mystery film doesn't pack any real surprises, but good pacing and direction make this one a winner.

4 stars out of 5

____

La Femme Nikita, 1991, various Frogs

(Foreign) This is not only surprisingly good for a French film, but also superior to the American remake Point Of No Return. Gasp!

4 stars out of 5

____

The Land Before Time, 1988, animated

Good film for the kiddies with lots of animated talking dinosaurs.

3½ stars out of 5

____

The Last Boy Scout, 1991, Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans

Ridiculous plot line is made up for in part by good dialogue and great action sequences.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Last Man Standing, 1996, Bruce Willis, Bruce Dern

More spaghetti western/John Woo hybrid than it is a gangster flick. Mindless, violent entertainment.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Last Of The Dogmen, 1995, Tom Berrenger, Barbara Hershey

Decent and watchable.  Tom Berrenger has to put up with a whining, scholarly Barbara Hershey as the two search for some untamed indians.

3 stars out of 5

____

The Last Of The Mohicans, 1992, Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe

It's a wonder that this film didn't earn Michael Mann a Best Director Oscar, but it's no shame losing out to Unforgiven. Mann does to 18th century colonial America what many thought he could only do with the urban setting, making it almost surreal but completely believable.  A feast for the eyes and generally solid.

4½ stars out of 5

____

The Last Starfighter, 1984, Lance Guest, Robert Preston

You can't really find too much wrong with this.  Sure, it is a typically cheesy 80s sci-fi film, but it is also good wholesome fun. Did I just say that?

3½ stars out of 5

____

Last Tango In Paris, 1972, Marlon Brando, Maria Schneider

This is really a pretty awful film whose only saving grace is a couple of kinky sex scenes.

2 stars out of 5

____

The Lawnmower Man, 1992, Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright

Stupid film which spawned one of the most unanticipated sequels in recent memory.

1 star out of 5

____

Lawrence Of Arabia, 1962, Peter O'Toole, Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn, Jack Hawkins, Omar Sharif

A classic by any standard, even if only homos and sailors are named Lawrence.

5 stars out of 5

____

A League Of Their Own, 1992, Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, Madonna, Rosie O'Donnell

Somewhat enjoyable film suffers from not succumbing to female stereotypes.

3 stars out of 5

____

Lean On Me, 1989, Morgan Freeman, Robert Guillaume

Solid acting with a solid and dare I say inspirational story.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Legend Of Boggy Creek, 1972, Willie E. Smith, John P. Nixon

The story of one of America's better known lesser known Bigfoot-like creatures.  Did you get all that?

2 stars out of 5

____

Less Than Zero, 1987, Andrew McCarthy, Robert Downey Jr., Jami Gertz, James Spader, Tony Bill, Nicholas Pryor

Depressing look into the pampered Beverly Hills brat culture in the mid-80s.  I doubt much has changed since then. Beverly Hills 90210 it ain't.

3 stars out of 5

____

Lethal Weapon, 1987, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey

Very entertaining buddy-buddy cop flick.  This and the first sequel are equally good.

4 stars out of 5

>>>>

Lethal Weapon 2, 1989, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Patsy Kensit

On par with the original.

4 stars out of 5

>>>>

Lethal Weapon 3, 1992, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, René Russo

Good but not equal to its prequels.

3½ stars out of 5

>>>>

Lethal Weapon 4, 1998, the usual crew, Chris Rock, Jet Li

By now, I'm thoroughly sick of the cop-buddy chatter and anti-NRA drivel, but I'm not ashamed to admit that all of these films are pretty darn good.  Jet Li really carries this one with some cool fight scenes.  Better than Lethal Weapon 3.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Leviathan, 1989, Peter Weller, Richard Crenna, Amanda Pays, Daniel Stern, Ernie Hudson

Very mediocre undersea ripoff of Alien.

2 stars out of 5

____

Liar Liar, 1997, Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Jennifer Tilly, Swoosie Kurtz, Amanda Donohoe

Otherwise dumb and sappy comedy is saved by Carrey's silly behavior.

3 stars out of 5

____

License To Drive, 1988, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Carol Kane, Richard Masur

Enjoyable teenage flick about screwing up your driver's test and dealing (or not dealing) with the consequences.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Life Is Beautiful, 1998, Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Braschi

Released as La Vita è bella in Italy, this film is perhaps the only one that can make you smile at the Holocaust.  It reminded me of the innocence of youth and the good things in life, which was its point I think.

4 stars out of 5

____

Life Of Brian, 1979, Terry Jones, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, Graham Chapman

One of the better Monty Python outings, this time dealing with Jesus Christ.

4 stars out of 5

____

Little Giants, 1994, Rick Moranis, Ed O'Neill, John Madden

I didn't actually rent this or anything.  I saw it on an airplane where I had no choice.  But I was pleasantly surprised.  Good for the kiddies.

3 stars out of 5

____

Little Man Tate, 1991, Jodie Foster, Dianne Wiest, Adam Hann-Byrd, Harry Connick, Jr.

Good but far too serious.

3½ stars out of 5

____

The Little Mermaid, 1989, animated

A major part of Disney's rejuvination in recent years, this is good for everyone.

4½ stars out of 5

____

The Little Shop Of Horrors, 1960, Jonathan Haze, Mel Welles, Jackie Joseph, Jack Nicholson

Entertaining bit from Roger Corman.

4 stars out of 5

____

Little Shop Of Horrors, 1986, Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Vincent Gardenia, Steve Martin, and the list goes on

Musical remake of the original is still fun in spite of the many gay songs.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Little Thief, 1989, Charlotte Gainsbourg

(Foreign) More in line with most French films.  This is watchable for the occasional glimpse of flesh, but otherwise a complete bore.

2 stars out of 5

____

Little Women, 1994, Winona Ryder, Susan Sarandon, Trini Alvarado, Eric Stoltz, Gabriel Byrne, Claire Danes

A classic if you're a wuss.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, 1998, Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Sting

An inventive script and amusing characters make this one of the better action/comedy imports in the last few years.  Fans of Pulp Fiction should enjoy it.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Lonely Guy, 1984, Steve Martin, Robyn Douglass, Charles Grodin

Not vintage Steve Martin but still watchable.

3 stars out of 5

____

The Long Kiss Goodnight, 1997, Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, David Morse

Mostly stupid film is saved by great action sequences.

2½ stars out of 5

____

The Longest Yard, 1974, Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, Michael Conrad, Bernadette Peters

Goofy prison movie that shows up on TBS about once a month.

3 stars out of 5

____

The Lords Of Discipline, 1983, David Keith, Robert Prosky

I saw this when I was really drunk and don't remember too much, except that I didn't particularly care for it.

2 stars out of 5

____

The Lost Boys, 1987, Jason Patric, Dianne Wiest, Corey Haim, Barnard Hughes, Kiefer Sutherland

Still lots of silly fun if you aren't looking for anything else.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Lost In Space, 1998, William Hurt, Gary Oldman, Matt LeBlanc, Mimi Rogers

Hard to believe that in this day and age the special effects from Star Wars still look more realistic than this high budget mess.  Not intelligent enough for adults or clean enough for the kids.

2 stars out of 5

____

Love & A .45, 1994, Gil Bellows, Renee Zellwegger, Rory Cochrane

Natural Born Killers by accidental circumstances but much better than Mr. Stone's messy concoction.

4 stars out of 5

____

Love At First Bite, 1979, George Hamilton, Susan Saint James, Richard Benjamin

An undeniable 70s comedy classic.

4 stars out of 5

____

Love Story, 1970, Ryan O'Neal, Ali MacGraw

Try this math equation: Ryan O'Neal + Ali MacGraw = X. What does X equal? X equals puke. Add them all together and it equals sheer happiness in the end when she croaks.

2½ stars out of 5

____

The Lover, 1992, Jane March, Tony Leung

Screw plot! Who needs it when Jane March can frolick around completely naked against some very nice background scenery.

3 stars out of 5

____

M

____

MacBeth, 1971, Jon Finch, Francesca Annis, Martin Shaw

Roman Polanski makes Shakespeare cool and understandable in this classic version of the tragic play. A must-see for all those who think Shakespeare was just some fruitcake in tights.

5 stars out of 5

____

MacKenna's Gold, 1969, Gregory Peck, Omar Sharif, Telly Savalas, Julie Newmar

Fun, somewhat hokey western.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Mad Max, 1979, Mel Gibson, Joanne Samuel

Definitely a manly film about a guy looking out for his family.

3stars out of 5

>>>>

The Road Warrior, 1981, Mel Gibson, Bruce Spence, Vernon Wells, Mike Preston

Awesome sequel completely surpasses the original.

4 stars out of 5

>>>>

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, 1985, Mel Gibson, Tina Turner

Not much to this one.

2 stars out of 5

____

Made In America, 1993, Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Danson, Will Smith, Nia Long, Jennifer Tilly

Mostly dumb comedy about a black girl finding out that her father is a very white Ted Danson.

2 stars out of 5

____

The Madness Of King George, 1994, Nigel Hawthorne, Helen Mirren, Ian Holm, Amanda Donohoe

Funny film adapted from the play about King George III's well-documented delirium.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Magnificent Seven, 1960, Yul Brynner, Eli Wallach, Horst Buchholz, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson

A classic western with a classic western plot swiped from the Japanese.

4½ stars out of 5

____

Magnolia, 1999, Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, Tom Cruise, Philip Baker Hall, John C. Reilly, Jason Robards

An intense film that never lets up.  It is very well crafted and acted, but don't see it unless you are ready for some very serious drama.  Unlike P.T. Anderson's previous creation Boogie Nights, there are very few laughs in this one.

4 stars out of 5

____
 

Major League, 1989, Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Wesley Snipes

The original baseball comedy classic.  Still amusing after a million viewings, albeit a little less funny every time.

4 stars out of 5

>>>>

Major League II, 1994, Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen

Dry rehash of the original.

2 stars out of 5

____

Malcolm X, 1992, Denzel Washington, Angela Bassett

Spike Lee's only good film dwells on a man who was pretty much a pinko in life, but who died like a stud.

4 stars out of 5

____

Mall Rats, 1995, Jason Lee, Jeremy London, Shannen Doherty

The maker of Clerks follows with a less-funny but still crudely amusing slacker flick.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Man On The Moon, 1999, Jim Carrey, Danny Devito, Courtney Love

A good film that really makes one wonder why anyone would make a film about Andy Kaufman.

3½ stars out of 5

____

The Man Who Saw Tomorrow, 1981, Robert Guenette

Interesting film follows the predictions of Nostradamus.

3 stars out of 5

____

The Man With Two Brains, 1983, Steve Martin, Kathleen Turner

One of the last great Steve Martin comedies.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Mangler, 1995, Robert Englund, Ted Levine

Yet another awful full-length cinematic adaptation of a Stephen King short story. Skip it.

1 star out of 5

____

Manhunter, 1986, William Petersen, Kim Greist, Brian Cox, Dennis Farina, Joan Allen

Based on the great Thomas Harris novel, this movie falls a bit short. It still manages to entertain somewhat though.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Maniac Cop 2, 1990, Robert Davi, Claudia Christian, Bruce Campbell, Michael Lerner

So what if I never saw the original.  This movie rocks!

3 stars out of 5

>>>>

Maniac Cop 3:  Badge Of Silence, 1993, Robert Davi, Robert Z'dar

Not quite as up to snuff as Maniac Cop 2 but close.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Marked For Death, 1990, Steven Seagal, Keith David, Basil Wallace

So-so Seagal outing not as good as Above The Law or Hard To Kill.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Mars Attacks!, 1996, Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Jim Brown

Starts slow until the Martians start to steal the show.  Campy fun.

3 stars out of 5

____

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, 1994, Kenneth Branagh, Robert DeNiro, Tom Hulce, Helena Bonham Carter

Hyperactive Frankenstein grates on the nerves when it's not impressing with lavish scenery.  Overall it fails to enthrall.

2 stars out of 5

____

Mask, 1985, Cher, Sam Elliott, Eric Stoltz

Complete wuss film with a wench in the lead role as a deformed freak's mother. At least Sam Elliott and Eric Stoltz are pretty cool.

2½ stars out of 5

____

The Mask Of Zorro, 1998, Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta Jones

Good, mostly wholesome fun.  Antonio Banderas was as much made for playing Zorro as Brosnan is made to play Bond.

4 stars out of 5

____

Matilda, 1979, Elliot Gould, Robert Mitchum

I saw this when I was a little squirt and what else can I say but that I liked it.

3 stars out of 5

____

The Matrix, 1999, Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano

This is a really cool film at times, and flat out stupid at times as well.  Worth seeing for the special effects and Carrie-Anne Moss running around in black leather.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Maverick, 1994, Mel Gibson, James Garner, Jodie Foster

Fun adaptation of the TV series.

4 stars out of 5

____

Maximum Overdrive, 1986, Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, Yeardley Smith

Trucks O' Death. What a winning proposition.

2 stars out of 5

____

Me And Him, 1987, Griffin Dunne, Ellen Greene, Craig T. Nelson

A touching film about a man's relationship with his penis.  Definitely more likely to be appreciated by males.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Mean Streets, 1973, Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Amy Robinson, Robert Carradine, David Carradine

Young talent is on display in Scorsese's first film.  Outdated background is kept fresh by Scorsese's style and a good story.

4 stars out of 5

____

Meatballs, 1979, Bill Murray, Harvey Atkin, Chris Makepeace, Kate Lynch

Before Friday The 13th, there was a nice, charming summer camp where things were funny and everybody knew your name.

3½ stars out of 5

>>>>

Meatballs Part II, 1984, Richard Mulligan, Kim Richards

Sometime during the course of watching this, I started to wish Jason would invade the Meatballs movies.

1½ stars out of 5

>>>>

Meatballs III, 1987, Sally Kellerman, Patrick Dempsey, Shannon Tweed, Al Waxman

I'm not so sure what this has to do with the first two.

1 star out of 5

>>>>

Meatballs 4, 1992, Corey Feldman, Jack Nance, Sarah Douglas

I pray you realize that I only managed to see all four of these movies when they were on HBO.  They just sort of appeared on the TV sometime after midnight.

1 star out of 5

____

Mediterraneo, 1991, lots of foreigners

(Foreign) In spite of the fact that this movie deals with a bunch of worthless, wimpy Italian soldiers, it still manages to impress.  Nice cinematography and character development make you almost want to care about the greasy bastards.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Meet Joe Black, 1998, Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Claire Forlani, Jeffrey Tambor

A lengthy and unconventional but unexceptional story about love and death.  Probably worth the rental to satisfy a woman's lust for Brad Pitt.

3 stars out of 5

____

Men At Work, 1990, Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez

Real-life brothers play reluctant hero garbagemen. Too bad they didn't spend more time picking the trash out of this film.

1 star out of 5

____

Men In Black, 1997, Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Linda Florentino, Vincent D'Onofrio, Rip Torn

Just enough humor and not enough sappy melodrama to keep me amused.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Menace II Society, 1993, Tyrin Turner, Jada Pinkett, Charles Dutton, Samuel L. Jackson

Different from the superior Boyz N The Hood, yet this little ditty still manages to keep one thinking long after that case of beer has disappeared into the belly.

4 stars out of 5

____

Meteor, 1979, Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Brian Keith, Henry Fonda

To this day this remains the only film that has put me to sleep in the theater.  I can't believe it's only 103 minutes long.

1 star out of 5

____

Miami Blues, 1990, Alec Baldwin, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Fred Ward, Nora Dunn

Starts slow and rather lamely, but finishes well.

3 stars out of 5

____

Michael Collins, 1996, Liam Neeson, Aidan Quinn, Alan Rickman, Stephen Rea, Julia Roberts

Solid movie attempts to make Irish Republican Army founder Michael Collins into a martyr and is partially successful. Unfortunately, the nonacting abilities of Aidan Quinn and Julia Roberts make this hardly watchable at times.

4 stars out of 5

____

Micki & Maude, 1984, Dudley Moore, Amy Irving

Sometimes dumb, sometimes funny. Typical Dudley Moore.  Whatever happened to him anyway?

3 stars out of 5

____

Midnight Cowboy, 1969, Jon Voight, Dustin Hoffman

A real man moves to NYC and turns into a homo. Not a pretty sight, but Dustin Hoffman is cool as a gimpy dago loser.

3 stars out of 5

____

Millenium, 1989, Kris Kristofferson, Cheryl Ladd, Daniel J. Travanti

This movie is so bad that it gets the rating it deserves.

(-)6 stars out of 5

____

Misery, 1990, James Caan, Kathy Bates

Although it isn't my favorite, it is probably the most well-adapted of all the Stephen King novels. A freaky film indeed.

4 stars out of 5

____

Missing In Action 2: The Beginning, 1985, Chuck Norris

Cong-killing machine Chuck Norris in action.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Mission: Impossible, 1996, Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Emmanuelle Beart, Ving Rhames, Jean Reno, Vanessa Redgrave

Tom Cruise is not quite James Bond material, but this flick is still plenty of fun.

4 stars out of 5

>>>>

Mission:  Impossible-2, 2000, Tom Cruise, Thandie Newton, Ving Rhames, Dougray Scott

A spectacular action film from start to finish.  Arguably John Woo's best directorial work to date.

5 stars out of 5

____

____

Mr. Mom, 1983, Michael Keaton, Teri Garr, Ann Jillian, Martin Mull

Here's the film that made Michael Keaton a star. It just goes to show that a man has no business changing doodied diapers.

4 stars out of 5

____

Mrs. Doubtfire, 1993, Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan

Funny but a bit too lighthearted for my tastes.

3½ stars out of 5

____

Mo' Money, 1992, Damon Wayons, Marlon Wayons

Although extremely dumb, this is better than most if not all Damon Wayons films.

2½ stars out of 5

____

Modern Problems, 1981, Chevy Chase, Patti D'Arbanville, Mary Kay Place

Except for a few hilarious scenes, this movie is mostly a bore.  But if it happens to be on cable, what the heck.

2 stars out of 5

____

Mommie Dearest, 1981, Faye Dunaway, Diana Scarwid, Steve Forrest

I liked Faye Dunaway better in Bonnie And Clyde.

3 stars out of 5

____

Money Train, 1995, Woody Harrelson, Damon Wayons, Jennifer Lopez, Robert Blake

I would only recommend this film to my worst enemy.

½ star out of 5

____

Monty Python And The Holy Grail, 1974, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin

A classic that can be enjoyed by young and old alike.  The comic violence is good for male bonding.

4 stars out of 5

____

Monty Python's The Meaning Of LIfe, 1983, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam

More for the adults, this crazed series of skits works wonders on the funny bone in typical Monty Python fashion.

4 stars out of 5

____

Mothra, 1962, lots of Japanese

My personal favorite in the Japanese monster movie department. Mothra is a beast to be reckoned with. I never watched Godzilla vs. Mothra because I couldn't take the pain of seeing Mothra go down.

4 stars out of 5

____

The Mountain Men, 1980, Charlton Heston, Brian Keith

A manly film if ever there was one.  Two mountain men do mountain men things.

3 stars out of 5

____

Much Ado About Nothing, 1993, Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Keanu Reeves, Denzel Washington

Branagh succeeds yet again as the modern day master of Shakespeare.

4 stars out of 5

____

Mulholland Falls, 1996, Nick Nolte, Chazz Palmenteri, Melanie Griffith, Michael Madsen, Christopher Penn

A truly boring and utterly pointless film.

1½ stars out of 5

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The Mummy, 1999, Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo

Cool effects abound in this update of the 1932 and 1959 movies of the same name.  Fraser makes his case as a viable action hero.

4 stars out of 5

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The Muppet Movie, 1979, the Muppets, many cameos

How can you dislike the Muppets?  Especially those old dudes who sit in the balcony.

3½ stars out of 5

>>>>

The Great Muppet Caper, 1981, the Muppets, Diana Rigg, Charles Grodin, Peter Falk

The Muppets turn into crusaders against crime.

3 stars out of 5

>>>>

The Muppets Take Manhattan, 1984, the Muppets, many cameos

More of the same.  My favorite part was when Kermit got hit by the car.

3 stars out of 5

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My Bloody Valentine, 1981, Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck

Spawned when slasher flicks were just beginning to take over the world.  Your bound to find this one showing on cable a few times a year.

2 stars out of 5

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My Blue Heaven, 1990, Steve Martin, Rick Moranis, Carol Kane, Joan Cusack, Melanie Mayron

Underrated comedy was Steve Martin's best (and only) one in a while when it came out.

3½ stars out of 5

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My Bodyguard, 1980, Chris Makepeace, Matt Dillon, Martin Mull, Adam Baldwin, Ruth Gordon

Still a rather enjoyable movie about a wimp who has to befriend a "bodyguard" (Animal Mother from Full Metal Jacket) in order to not get his ass kicked.

4 stars out of 5

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My Cousin Vinny, 1991, Joe Pesci, Marisa Tomei, Ralph Macchio, Fred Gwynne

Funny movie but Marisa Tomei's Oscar® for her role is a slap in the face to movie actresses everywhere.

4 stars out of 5

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My Demon Lover, 1987, Scott Valentine, Michelle Little

If it can be claimed that Scott Valentine ever had his 15 minutes of fame, then this is it.  Better than it sounds. At least it was 10 years ago when I saw it.

3 stars out of 5

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My Fair Lady, 1964, Rex Harrison, Audrey Hepburn

Probably the only musical that I can safely say that I enjoy. Plus Audrey Hepburn was a babe.

4 stars out of 5

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My Life As A Dog, 1987, Anton Glanzelius

(Foreign) I didn't even know they had movie cameras in Sweden until I saw this.  Its a good flick, and does not offend any manly sensibilities.

4 stars out of 5

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My Own Private Idaho, 1991, River Phoenix, Keanu Reeves

This movie is so unmanly that I couldn't even watch it all the way through to the end.

no rating

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Mystery, Alaska, 1999, Russell Crowe, Hank Azaria, Mary McCormack, Burt Reynolds, Colm Meaney

Although Russell Crowe sporting a hockey mullet is pretty bad, the movie isn't.  Vulgar, funny, and Rocky-esque.

3½ stars out of 5

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