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Above The Law, 1988, Steven Seagal, Pam Grier, Sharon Stone
Mr. Seagal whoops some serious butt in his debut film. If you like broken bones and incapacitated folks, then you'll love this.
4 stars out of 5
____
Absolute Power, 1997, Clint Eastwood, Ed Harris, Gene Hackman, Scott Glenn, Judy Davis
Another solid entry in the Eastwood directorial archives. Good acting and suspense abound.
4 stars out of 5
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The Abyss, 1989, Ed Harris, Mary My Name Is Too Long Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Michael Biehn
One of the most boring undersea epics ever created.
1 star out of 5
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The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen, 1989, John Neville, Robin Williams, Uma Thurman
Wonderfully bizarre film which includes an almost entirely naked 18-year old Uma Thurman. I drooled.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane, 1990, Andrew Dice Clay, Priscilla Presley, Robert Englund, Wayne Newton
The comic master as only he can be, albeit a bit tame, in the movie that spawned the hottest Billy Idol video ever. Too little Dice and too much Hollywood unfortunately.
3 stars out of 5
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The Accused, 1988, Jodie Foster, Kelly McGillis
I know it might be sick of me to say this...but you get to see Jodie Foster's melons!
4 stars out of 5
____
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 1994, Jim Carrey, Sean Young, Courteney Cox, Dan Marino
Oh god. OK. I admit it. I laughed a few times.
3 stars out of 5
____
Air Force One, 1997, Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close
Thoroughly enjoyable action farce about a real man president. Obviously, it isn't based on America's real 1997 president.
4½ stars out of 5
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Airplane!, 1980, Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielson, Lew Alcindor, Lloyd Bridges, Robert Stack
Perhaps the greatest movie ever created for those with IQs under 100.
4½ stars out of 5
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Airplane II: The Sequel, 1982, Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Captain Kirk
The third greatest movie ever created for those with IQs under 100, behind Naked Gun.
4 stars out of 5
____
Akira, 1990, animated
Tripped-out flick with some incredibly cool animation and lots of violence.
4 stars out of 5
____
Alien, 1979, Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Ian Holm, Harry Dean Stanton
The original and best of all the flesh-eating alien films and its own trilogy.
5 stars out of 5
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Aliens, 1986, Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Henn, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Paul Reiser
Good sequel, but it can't outshine the original.
4½ stars out of 5
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Alien³, 1992, Sigourney Weaver, Charles Dutton
Melodrama and science fiction don't mix. But add some serious gore and it becomes a tolerable mixture.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
Alien Resurrection, 1997, Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Ron Perlman
This is a feast for the eyes but an insult to the brain. But if Winona had bared all, I would have forgiven that minor flaw.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Alien Nation, 1988. James Caan, Mandy Patankin
Cool movie about a guy and his alien partner cracking down on future crime.
4 stars out of 5
____
Alligator, 1980, Robert Forster, Michael Gazzo
How can you go wrong with a movie about an alligator that's partial to human and poodle flesh?
3 stars out of 5
____
All Of Me, 1984, Steve Martin, Lilly Tomlin
Lilly Tomlin is a dog. Thank god she's kind of funny. Steve Martin kicks ass too.
4 stars out of 5
____
All The Marbles, 1981, Peter Falk, Burt Young
A one-eyed guy and female mud-wrestling! How can you lose!
1½ stars out of 5
____
Almost Famous, 2000, Kate Hudson, Patrick Fugit, Billy Crudup, Jason Lee, Frances McDormand
Here's a movie you can't help but to like. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll all wrapped around childhood innocence. A strange mix but it works nicely.
4 stars out of 5
____
Always, 1989, Richard Dreyfuss, Holly Hunter, John Goodman, Brad Johnson
Sappy but generally good movie in spite of the fact that Dreyfuss is such a commie.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Amadeus, 1984, F. Murray Abraham, Tom Hulce, Elizabeth Berridge, Roy Dotrice
A true spectacle with great music and an intriguing story.
4 stars out of 5
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American Beauty, 1999, Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening, Thora Birch, Wes Bentley
Bizarre but extremely amusing and dark look at one family's dysfunction.
4 stars out of 5
____
American Dreamer, 1984, JoBeth Williams, Tom Conti
I remember seeing this when it came out, thinking it would suck, and actually laughing. Not bad.
3 stars out of 5
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American Graffiti, 1973, Richard Dreyfuss, Opie, Han Solo, Druggie child of The Mamas And Papas
The 50s...Eisenhower was God. Obviously this movie rocks.
5 stars out of 5
____
American Pie, 1999, Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nichols, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari
Enough hilarity to balance the predictable childish humor. The same kind of childish humor that I tend to like.
3½ stars out of 5
____
American Pie 2, 2001, everybody from the first one
In many ways funnier than the first one, even if the plot is recycled from the first one, which already was recycled enough.
3½ stars out of 5
____
American Psycho, 2000, Christian Bale, Reese Witherspoon, Willem Dafoe, Jared Leto, Chloe Sevigny
Not for all tastes, but an extremely demented and funny look at 80s culture lies between the slicing and dicing.
4 stars out of 5
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An American Werewolf In London, 1981, David Naughton, Griffin Dunne
This is one of those movies that you never get sick of. The theater scenes are some of the funniest ever put on film.
4½ stars out of 5
>>>>
An American Werewolf In Paris, 1997, Tom Everett Scott, Julie Delpy, Phil Buckman, Vince Vieluf
An obvious attempt to appease Generation X-ers, this one falls flat. It has some good moments, but too many sappy ones.
2 stars out of 5
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Amistad, 1997, Matthew McConaughey, Djimon Hounsou, Anthony Hopkins, Morgan Freeman
Another winning achievement for Spielberg. It never seems too melodramatic or too Hollywood-- just too good.
5 stars out of 5
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The Amityville Horror, 1979, James Brolin, Margot Kidder
Any movie that has blood coming out of the walls can't be too awful.
2 stars out of 5
>>>
Amityville III: The Demon, 1983, Tony Roberts, Candy Clark, Meg Ryan
I'm not exactly proud to say that I saw this in the theater in 1983 with the 3D glasses and everything. The part where the swordfish flies out of the screen saved this one.
1 star out of 5
____
Analyze This, 1999, Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow
De Niro is his usual self and Crystal gets to do impersonations. The result is one extremely funny flick. Too bad Lisa Kudrow has parlayed her success on Friends into an "acting" career.
4 stars out of 5
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Anatomy Of A Murder, 1959, James Stewart, Lee Remick, Arthur O'Connell, George C. Scott
Fantastic movie that manages to impress with a rare quality of 1950s movies-- realism.
4½ stars out of 5
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And Then There Were None, 1945, Barry Fitzgerald, Walter Huston
Good screen version of the Agatha Christie novel.
4 stars out of 5
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Andy Warhol's Dracula, 1974, Udo Kier
Any movie that gives top billing to a man with an accent more indecipherable than Arnold's in Conan has got to be OK. Plus it has tons of nakedness and gore.
3 stars out of 5
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Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, 1974, Udo Kier
There's a line about the gal-bladder in this flick that just completely blows my mind. More of the same...
2½ stars out of 5
____
Angel Heart, 1987, Mickey Rourke, Lisa Bonet, Robert DeNiro
Here's the movie that eventually spawned the NC-17 rating from the MPAA. For all the fuss that was made about a few extra edited seconds of Lisa Bonet's tiny nubs, this movie is a kind surprise. Engrossing and intense, this is arguably the best of the Mickey Rourke films.
4 stars out of 5
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Animal House, 1978, John Belushi, Tim Matheson, Karen "14" Allen
Fraternities and beer. Welcome to my past life.
4½ stars out of 5
____
Annie, 1982, Albert Finney, Bernadette Peters, Carol Burnett
Whoever wrote this should be shot.
2 stars out of 5
____
Antz, 1998, voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Sylvester Stallone, Gene Hackman
Solid but not particularly great movie is sometimes funny. The animation is amazing.
3 stars out of 5
____
Any Given Sunday, 1999, Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx, James Woods, Dennis Quaid
Surprisingly, this is a very entertaining movie once you get past the usual annoying Oliver Stone camera angles. Its only other drawback is a length of 2½ hours.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Apostle, 1998, Robert Duvall, Miranda Richardson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Bob Thornton
A great performance by Duvall and a feelgood story can't salvage the boring scenes, of which there are plenty.
3½ stars out of 5
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Apocalypse Now, 1979, Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Harrison Ford, Laurence Fishburne
I humbly apologize for not thinking that this movie was the greatest movie ever, but frankly, it's overrated. Good cast, good acting, good (and justifiable commie-killing!) war, good script, but a bit too whacked.
4 stars out of 5
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April Fool's Day, 1986, Jay Baker, Deborah Foreman
Slasher flick with a great twist.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Apt Pupil, 1998, Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, David Schwimmer
A truly freaky movie that captivates and sickens all at once. Not for all tastes.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Arachnophobia, 1990, Jeff Daniels, John Goodman
Spiders infest a town and cause much nastiness. Surprisingly good.
3½ stars out of 5
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Armageddon, 1998, Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Billy Bob Thornton, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames
Good strictly from an "America Rules" perspective. Overall, it's good, mostly harmless fun.
3½ stars out of 5
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Arthur, 1981, Dudley Moore, Liza "God I'm ugly" Minnelli
I think this was Dudley Moore's last funny film.
4 stars out of 5
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As Good As It Gets, 1997, Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Greg Kinnear, Cuba Gooding Jr.
Nicholson excels in a role that must've been written for him. Everyone else is great too, but like most romantic comedies, there's a tendency to doze off at times.
4 stars out of 5
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Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, 1980, nobody famous
Like you had to look?
2 stars out of 5 (for genius special effects)
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Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery, 1997, Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Robert Wagner
Wonderfully dumb. Yeah, baby!
3 stars out of 5
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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, 1999, Mike Myers, Heather Graham
More obvious laughs than the first, but twice as stupid. The big benefit of the movie was that it made me want to go buy Boogie Nights so I could view Heather Graham naked at my leisure.
2½ stars out of 5
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Avalon, 1990, Aidan Quinn, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Elizabeth Perkins
Just a solidly made film about life in general.
4 stars out of 5
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The Babe, 1992, John Goodman, Kelly McGillis
Solid telling of the Bambino's life.
3½ stars out of 5
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Bachelor Party, 1984, Tom Hanks, Tawny Kitaen
Classic guy flick. Grab a case of beer and rent this if you haven't already.
4 stars out of 5
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Back To School, 1986, Rodney Dangerfield, Sally Kellerman, Robert Downey Jr.
Perhaps the last movie Rodney Dangerfield ever did that was worth watching more than one-and-a-half times.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Back To The Future, 1985, Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover
Thoroughly enjoyable romp about a wimp from the 80s who returns to the manly era of the 50s and finds his hands full.
4½ stars out of 5
>>>>
Back To The Future II, 1989, Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover
OK, but mostly ridiculous.
3½ stars out of 5
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Back To The Future III, 1990, Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover
Wuss from the 80s goes back to the 1880s, when men were men and wussies lived alone in the hills somewhere.
4 stars out of 5
____
Bad Boys, 1983, Sean Penn, Ally Sheedy, Esai Morales
A definite must-see for fans of Sean Penn and fans of prison cinema.
4½ stars out of 5
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Bad Dreams, 1988, Jennifer Rubin, Bruce Abbott
Awful.
1 star out of 5
____
Bad Influence, 1990, Rob Lowe, James Spader
Strange tale of sexual deviance which parallels Lowe's own life oddly enough. Not bad.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Bad Lieutenant, 1992, Harvey Keitel, Victor Argo
Revolting character-study of a cop gone bad. I liked it.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Bad News Bears, 1976, Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal, Vic Morrow
Despite the bad wardrobes, this will always be a classic.
4 stars out of 5
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Bad Taste, 1987, Pete O'Herne
One of the funniest and simultaneously disgusting movies ever made.
4½ stars out of 5
____
Barry Lyndon, 1975, Ryan O'Neal, Marisa Berenson, Patrick Magee, Hardy Krüger
Overlong but well-acted and with a great soundtrack. Not for everybody, but recommended for insomniacs.
4 stars out of 5
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Basic Instinct, 1992, Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone
Sharon Stone wonders why nobody takes her seriously as an actress.
2½ stars out of 5
____
The Basketball Diaries, 1995, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ernie Hudson, Marky Mark
Too melodramatic, but it does have a few good ass-whoopin scenes.
2 stars out of 5
____
Batman, 1989, Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger
Good but overrated film adaptation of the classic comic book character.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Batman Returns, 1992, Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer
This one is worth watching if only to see Michelle Pfeiffer prance around in tight black leather. As Catwoman, she can be my pussy any day.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Battle Beyond The Stars, 1980, Richard Thomas, John Saxon, Richard Vaughn, George Peppard
Low budget spoof of Star Wars is surprisingly witty. A guilty pleasure.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Battlefield Earth, 2000, John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker, Kim Coates
A big budget just makes this a bigger, dumber film.
2 stars out of 5
____
Battlestar Galactica, 1978, Lorne Greene, Richard Hatch, Dirk Benedict, Lew Ayres, Jane Seymour
I'll take the Millenium Falcon any day. But the Cylons were definitely cool.
1½ stars out of 5
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Beaches, 1988, Bette Midler, Barbara Hershey
Take a date to this and maybe you'll get some sympathy booty.
3 stars out of 5
____
The Bear, 1989, some bears
The only dissatisfying part of this movie to me was that the hunters never got to kill the bear cub.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Beastmaster, 1982, Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts
Marc Singer is no Arnold by any means, but this isn't as bad as it sounds.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
The Beastmaster 2: Through The Portal Of Time, 1991, Marc Singer, Kari Wuhrer, Wings Hauser
This one is as bad as it sounds. The Beastmaster frolicks through modern day L.A. in his loincloth.
1 star out of 5
____
Beauty And The Beast, 1991, animated
Disney makes all the average schlubs like myself look like losers by showing how this terrible, heinous wookie thing can even pull a hot piece of booty.
4 stars out of 5
____
Beavis & Butthead Do America, 1996, animated
An hour and a half of this turns out to be the same as watching an hour and a half of the show. Lots of funny parts, and plenty of idiotic stupidity that will make you roll your eyes.
3 stars out of 5
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Beetlejuice, 1988, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder
So-so movie whose real highlight is a young blossoming and oddly voluptious Winona Ryder.
3 stars out of 5
____
Before Sunrise, 1994, Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy
Another plotless endeavor from Richard Linklater, who seems to have found his calling. You have to be in the mood for this one.
4 stars out of 5
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The Believers, 1987, Martin Sheen, Helen Shaver
Freaky and worth a look.
3 stars out of 5
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Ben Hur, 1959, Charlton Heston, Stephen Boyd, Jack Hawkins, Haya Harareet, Hugh Griffith, Martha Scott
A true classic epic in every way. The biblical element to the story is only a sideshow compared to the rest.
5 stars out of 5
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A Better Way To Die, 2000, Scott Wiper, Andre Braugher, Natasha Henstridge, Lou Diamond Phillips, Matt Gallini
Unbelievably brutal film has some good one-liners, plenty of guns, and lots of action. It's only obvious fault is that it tries too hard to be Quentin Tarantino.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Beverly Hills Cop, 1984, Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton
The movie that made Eddie Murphy The Man of the mid-80s. Much better than the sequels that followed it.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Beverly Hills Cop II, 1987, Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Brigitte Nielsen
Not quite up to snuff.
3 stars out of 5
____
Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, 1970, Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, Marcia McBroom
This is worth watching if only for the last twenty minutes but minus the last five. Plus it has nakedness galore.
1½ stars out of 5
____
Big, 1988, Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins
There was so much fuss about this film and yet not a single naked breast.
4 stars out of 5
____
Big Business, 1988. Bette Midler, Lilly Tomlin
Two of Hollywood's ugliest women get together and make a movie.
2½ stars out of 5
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The Big Chill, 1983, William Hurt, Jeff Goldblum, Glenn Close, Tom Berenger, JoBeth Williams, Kevin Kline
Great flick about life. Of course, strictly speaking it is lacking in a manly context.
4½ stars out of 5
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The Big Lebowski, 1998, Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro
Another strange installment from the Coen brothers. Lots of crude laughs but a lackluster ending.
4 stars out of 5
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Big Momma's House, 2000, Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Paul Giamatti
This movie brings nothing new to the table, except a few guaranteed laughs from Lawrence. Otherwise it is predictable and very, very dumb.
2 stars out of 5
____
Big Trouble In Little China, 1986, Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dung, James Hong, Victor Wong
One that you either love or hate. It is so campy and so bad that it must have been written that way on purpose, right?
3 stars out of 5
____
Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure, 1989, Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin
Most excellent.
4 stars out of 5
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Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey, 1991, Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin
Bogus.
2 stars out of 5
____
Bill Cosby-- Himself, 1985, Bill Cosby
One of the funnier stage comics filmed when he was still funny.
4 stars out of 5
____
Billy Bathgate, 1991, Dustin Hoffman, Nicole Kidman, Bruce Willis, Steven Hill
Decent gangster film complete with a naked Nicole Kidman. Hubba hubba.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Billy Madison, 1995, Adam Sandler
This movie has so many funny parts that I can count them all on one hand.
1 star out of 5
____
The Birdcage, 1996, Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, Gene Hackman, Dianne Wiest
Extremely unmanly film, but goshdarnit, it's pretty damn hilarious.
4½ stars out of 5
____
Bitter Moon, 1994, Peter Coyote, Hugh Grant, Emmanuelle Seigner
Ridiculous film is salvaged only by the sight of Seigner's jugs.
2½ stars out of 5
____
The Black Hole, 1979, Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins
Space wimps get into trouble.
1 star out of 5
____
Black Rain, 1989, Michael Douglas, Andy Garcia, Kate Capshaw
Super-cool flick has Michael Douglas tracking down the Japanese mafia with motorcycles in rice paddies. Plus a bonus beheading.
4½ stars out of 5
____
Blackout, 1985, Richard Widmark, Keith Carradine, Kathleen Quinlan
One of the first HBO original films is a pretty good one.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Blade Runner, 1982, Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Edward James Olmos
Visual feast and seemingly timeless movie has Harrison Ford doing the Captain Kirk thing: killing bad guys and sleeping with alien chicks.
4 stars out of 5
____
Bloodsucking Freaks, 1978, Seamus O'Brian, Niles McMaster
The most revolting 90 minutes of film you will ever watch.
0 stars out of 5
____
The Blue Lagoon, 1980, Brooke Shields, Christoper Atkins
A tease of a film.
1½ stars out of 5
____
Blue Streak, 1999, Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson, Peter Greene, David Chappelle, Nicole Ari Parker
As far as Martin Lawrence films go, this is a pretty good one. Funny and plenty of action.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Blue Sky, 1994, Tommy Lee Jones, Jessica Lange
How Jessica Lange won an Oscar® for her performance is beyond me. Other than that, this movie is ridiculous.
2 stars out of 5
____
Blue Steel, 1990, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ron Silver
Sex freak Ron Silver stalks Jamie Lee Curtis. At least he has decent taste.
3 stars out of 5
____
Blue Thunder, 1983, Roy Scheider, Malcolm McDowell
Solid action flick about a state-of-the-art helicopter that kills bad guys.
4 stars out of 5
____
Blue Velvet, 1986, Kyle MacLachlan, Isabella Rossellini, Dennis Hopper, Laura Dern
Weird but definitely watchable, if only for the sight of Isabella in the buff.
4 stars out of 5
____
The Blues Brothers, 1980, John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Carrie Fisher
If it wasn't so long, it would be more tolerable.
3 stars out of 5
____
Body Double, 1984, Craig Wasson, Melanie Griffith, Gregg Henry, Deborah Shelton
A great mystery wrapped up in oodles of sex and violence.
4 stars out of 5
____
Boiler Room, 2000, Giovanni Ribisi, Vin Diesel, Nia Long, Nicky Katt, Scott Caan, Ron Rifkin, Ben Affleck
Hyperactive and improbable. The good start fools one into thinking the film is worthwhile.
2 stars out of 5
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James Bond:
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Dr. No, 1962, Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord, Bernard Lee
The original Bond film is a little rusty, but still better than most action films today. Plus it has Ursula Andress in a bikini when she was still hot.
3½ stars out of 5
>>>>
From Russia With Love, 1963, Sean Connery, Robert Shaw
Bond is completely within his element in this one. The first and at times still the most memorable Bond film.
4½ stars out of 5
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Goldfinger, 1964, Sean Connery, Gert Fröbe, Honor Blackman
Two words: Pussy Galore. I still think the gold chick in the beginning is the hottest babe Bond ever bagged.
3½ stars out of 5
>>>>
Thunderball, 1965, Sean Connery, Adolf Celi
One of my personal top five favorite Bond flicks. Anyone who can knock a guy out with an underwater punch is truly a stud.
4½ stars out of 5
>>>>
You Only Live Twice, 1967, Sean Connery, Donald Pleasance
Pretty good entry with one of the more fantastic finishes.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
On Her Majesty's Secret Service, 1969, George Lazenby, Telly Savalas, Diana Rigg
Purists may kill me, but this is my favorite of all the Bond films. Lazenby is a goofy Bond at best (in his only Bond film), but the plot is excellent, the action outstanding, and the ending unforgettable. This is the film that forever put Diana Rigg into the trivia books.
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Diamonds Are Forever, 1971, Sean Connery, Jill St. John
This is one of three worst Bond movies ever. I think the fact that Jill St. John just isn't all that hot might have something to do with it.
2½ stars out of 5
>>>>
Live And Let Die, 1973, Roger Moore, Jane Seymour
In his first Bond role, Roger Moore isn't quite as cool as he would later be. Jane Seymour's heaving boobies take some of the attention of 007 though, but the result is still a half-ass spy adventure.
2½ stars out of 5
>>>>
The Man With The Golden Gun, 1974, Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Maud Adams, Herve Villechaize
Bond gets back to form and Roger Moore gets back to Bond in this one. Herve Villechaize makes one think that all dwarves must hang.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
The Spy Who Loved Me, 1977, Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens
Without question one of the more memorable in the long 007 series. A first-class villain with a first-class plot and an awesome hideaway, gadgetry out the yinyang, and a very voluptious Barbara Bach (Ringo, how'd you pull that one off?).
5 stars out of 5
>>>>
Moonraker, 1979, Roger Moore, Lois Chiles
Without question the single dumbest Bond film ever made. Jaws should be biting people, not getting some pig-tailed teenage girlfriend with braces! The child-molestation overtones are appalling! And Bond should stick to bullets, not laserbeams.
1 star out of 5
>>>>
For Your Eyes Only, 1981, Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet
007 gets back on track with this one, killing people with real guns as God intended it to be done.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
Octopussy, 1983, Roger Moore, Maud Adams (again)
Maud Adams is really too old to be a Bond girl again, and surely Bond wouldn't need the help of so many chicks to catch his bad guy, but all realism aside, this is still a pretty good flick.
3½ stars out of 5
>>>>
Never Say Never Again, 1983, Sean Connery, Kim Bassinger, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Max Von Sydow
Technically, this is not an official Bond film but because so many people think it is, I put it in here. It's a spoof and remake of Thunderball with Connery reprising his role as 007. The big budget stunts and Bondesque feel are noticeably absent.
3 stars out of 5
>>>>
A View To A Kill, 1985, Roger Moore, Grace Jones, Christopher Walken
Roger Moore goes out with a bang, and I mean that in more ways than one obviously. Mediocre for a Bond film, which still gives it high marks.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
The Living Daylights, 1987, Timothy Dalton, Maryam D'Abo
Timothy Dalton is without a doubt the most serious and hard-assed Bond, but he's also quite good in his first of two outings. And D'Abo is the hottest Bond girl since Barbara Big Boobs Bach.
4½ stars out of 5
>>>>
License To Kill, 1989, Timothy Dalton, Robert Davi
Bond's buddy Felix Leiter, who's been played by a different guy in each movie I think, is roughed up and 007 seeks revenge. Davi is the best villain since Gert Fröbe.
4 stars out of 5
>>>>
GoldenEye, 1995, Pierce Brosnan, Izabella Scorupco, Famke Janssen, Joe Don Baker, Sean Bean
Brosnan is definitely a smooth Bond, and the women are hotter than ever, but the plot is only so-so. Thank god for the women, a great opening sequence, and the always titilating opening credits.
3½ stars out of 5
>>>>
Tomorrow Never Dies, 1997, Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce, Michelle Yeoh, Teri Hatcher
Definitely a big step above its predecessor. This is classic Bond with a ridiculously evil, egotistical, and insane villain. Bond hasn't been this Bondish in quite a while.
4½ stars out of 5
>>>>
The World Is Not Enough, 1999, Pierce Brosnan, Sophie Marceau, Denise Richards
Mostly lame villainy and Denise Richards' putrid acting drag down this otherwise entertaining installment in the Bond series.
3½ stars out of 5
____
Bonnie And Clyde, 1967, Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman
Faye Dunaway is so hot in this. I think the other parts of the movie were pretty good too.
4 stars out of 5
____
Boogie Nights, 1997, Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds
Incredibly blunt and funny movie is quite a hoot, but best seen with a very open-minded group of drunkards.
4 stars out of 5
____
Boomerang, 1992, Eddie Murphy, Robin Givens, Halle Berry, Martin Lawrence
Decent movie that would otherwise such if Eddie Murphy wasn't in it.
2½ stars out of 5
____
Born In East L.A., 1987, Cheech, Daniel Stern, Paul Rodriguez
Funny film that would be a lot funnier with Chong.
3 stars out of 5
____
Born On The Fourth Of July, 1989, Tom Cruise, Kyra Sedgwick, Willem Dafoe
Watching this convinced me that Tom Cruise could act. It's too bad I don't sympathize with his character or Oliver Stone.
3½ stars out of 5
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Bound, 1996, Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon, Joe Pantoliano, John P. Ryan
Two hot Hollywood actresses engaged in lesbo love and a twisted plot to boot.
4 stars out of 5
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The Bounty, 1984, Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins
Great retelling of the infamous mutiny that just happens to include tons of topless pacific islander girls.
4½ stars out of 5
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Boxing Helena, 1993, Julian Sands, Sherilyn Fenn
Stupid art film.
1 star out of 5
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The Boy In The Plastic Bubble, 1976, John Travolta
A timeless classic if you're under the influence and somewhat retarded.
1½ stars out of 5
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Boyz N The Hood, 1991, Ice Cube, Cuba Gooding, Morris Chestnut, Laurence Fishburne
The most surprising movie I've ever seen and one of best ever.
5 stars out of 5
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The Brady Bunch Movie, 1995, Gary Cole, Shelly Long
If you can survive the first 15 minutes of this, you'll realize that this movie is as perfect as it can be given its premise.
3½ stars out of 5
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Bram Stoker's Dracula, 1992, Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins
Arguably the best and without a doubt the coolest Dracula yet. A must-see, even if you only throw popcorn at Keanu Reeves whenever he has to utter a line.
5 stars out of 5
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Braveheart, 1995, Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan
Outstanding film with lots of primitive amputations and dismemberments. The ending will make you want to go kill the British.
5 stars out of 5
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The Breakfast Club, 1984, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Emilio Estevez, Ally Sheedy
Without question the best of all the mid-80s teenager movies released. Also one of my all-time personal faves.
5 stars out of 5
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Brian's Song, 1970, James Caan, Billy Dee Williams
Two real men, Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers, and how one of them tackles cancer. Actually, they wind up getting duped.
4 stars out of 5
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The Bridge On The River Kwai, 1957, Alec Guinness, William Holden, Jack Hawkins, James Donald
A classic that is only somewhat dated. Well photographed and well acted.
4 stars out of 5
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A Bridge Too Far, 1977, Dick Bogarde, James Caan, Sean Connery, Michael Caine, Laurence Olivier, Robert Redford
Classic WWII film.
4 stars out of 5
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Broadcast News, 1987, William Hurt, Holly Hunter, Albert Brooks
Hilarious and sometimes brilliant look at the communist media.
5 stars out of 5
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Brokedown Palace, 1999, Claire Danes, Kate Beckinsale, Bill Pullman, Lou Diamond Phillips
No nudity in spite of the hot young chicks. No nudity = no rental. I only saw it because I was in a hotel and had HBO.
2 stars out of 5
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A Bronx Tale, 1993, Robert DeNiro, Chazz Palminteri, Lillo Brancato
DeNiro's directing debut. Good stuff.
4 stars out of 5
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Buck Rogers In The 25th Century, 1979, Gil Gerard, Erin Gray
Nobody could do Buck Rogers like Gil Gerard.
2½ stars out of 5
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Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, 1992, Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Rutger Hauer, Luke Perry, Paul Reubens
I'm sorry, but this movie really was pretty OK.
3 stars out of 5
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Bugs Bunny / Road Runner Movie, 1979, animated
This would be a lot better were it not for that annoying road runner.
4 stars out of 5
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Bull Durham, 1988, Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins
Two of my least favorite thespians, Costner and Sarandon, team up for a pretty good flick about baseball and getting lucky.
4 stars out of 5
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Bullets Over Broadway, 1994, John Cusack, Dianne Wiest, Chazz Palmintari, Jennifer Tilly
If anybody can explain to me why Woody Allen is considered a genius, then they should be considered a genius.
2½ stars out of 5
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Bustin' Loose, 1981, Richard Pryor, Cicely Tyson
Who else would be in a movie called Bustin' Loose?
2 stars out of 5
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The Butcher's Wife, 1991, Jeff Daniels, Demi Moore
Sappy romantic balderdash.
2 stars out of 5
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