Transcript:
"Well, you see, I work at a place that lacks creativity. I mean sure - they have that advertising crap pretty much down pat, but what about real creativity?
"So, while I was sitting in front of my new hard fought PowerPC, a woman - and no, I don't wish to tell you her name - asked me if I could create a flyer for the upcoming Ice Cream Social.
"And I thought, f-ck you! f-ck you! and f-ck you, all you little voices inside my head. Then I realized that she was talking to me and I said, 'What?'
"'Would you please make a flyer for the Ice Cream Social? Here's the information that needs to be in there, otherwise you can get as creative as you want.' And she handed me a sheet with the information.
"'Sure,' I replied as I continued to fight off the voices inside my head. She walked away while the word "creative" continued to reverberate off the other voices in my mind. Hmmmm, I thought.
"So, I thought hell- yes I can get creative!
"So I popped in the CD-ROM disk containing pre-made clip art - I'm not very good at drawing, you see - and I found this file called 'Axe Murderer.' What could be more appropriate?
"You see, I don't belive in the penitentiary system - all that unnecessary housing and feeding of criminals. I believe in the wonderful technique of stress and tension reduction through a pleasurable medium. In this case, ice cream! Unlike my more conservative counterparts, I don't belive you jail a time bomb after he explodes. No - I believe you put out that person's fuse with a little dab of ice cream.
"Thus, as you can plainly complete for yourself, was Hank born.
"As for the wild popularity - I just credit that to Hank's on-the-edge sex appeal. He's that sympathetic type of guy who has suffered hardships throughout his life; he's the underdog we root for. He's an American."
© sklender, 1996 - Until My Death, and then three weeks beyond that.