I wish that I could say the past week has lightened my spirits, but that would make too much sense, wouldn't it. So, let me recount for those brave souls who have gotten this far on the page what I'm going on about.
I've been having issues with my mothers new boyfriend (YES IT'S A BIT TRIVIAL) and I snapped over New Years. I can't accept him into my life willingly because he is, quite frankly, an asshole. Now, if my mother wants him there, that's her business- what ever makes her happy I say! This doesn't imply that I am obliged to be there. I have a life to get back to, and that's the option I'm taking. Now this is all fine and dandy until you factor in my ex-step father, who I have chosen to stay in touch with. He told me the other day that I wasn't trying to have a relationship because I never confided in him or asked for his advice. This statement, about the emotion thing is true, but what confuses me is that even when he was married to my mother (for the majority of my life I might add) I never talked to him like that! I don't have the most open relationship with my family. Hell! Just in reading this, you probably know more about me than they do! I'm still asking myself where he get's off telling me that I don't love him.
So, now the question becomes what to do about this situation. We have path A, which is what my brother took, and cut off all contact with the parent. Or path B, which I think that I've taken, where I try to deal with the situation as best I can, while attempting to live my life, and drive myself crazy in the process. Or path C, and I'm not to sure what that means yet. I'm inches away to subscribing to the self-help book of the month club already! I am actually looking forward to relocating to the DC area, just so that I can get a place with a cat and forget to give anyone the phone number.
On top of all of this, after leaving my mothers capable care, I feel like the most useless human being on the planet- she has this effect on people. And I still have to find a job, career, school for masters degree..... etc. I wish that I had the ability to do yoga or something, but I know that I can always go hiking once I get to Virginia.
Anyway, if any of you reading have some practical advice, I'm all ears.
CSHL- Sunrise, Florida, United States of America
