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Living in Crazy WorldPoetrythey aren't much but i will post some because they are how i feel Searching for a Rabbit Hole I feel as though my thoughts might explode through my skull Rushing and Racing at lightning fast speeds In the same way they compete for recognition in my mind Starting a project will only bring disspointment Due to my inability to conclude any one task If I lie in bed and hide from my enemies They will certainly dissapear like magic Like the absurdity of Alice down the rabbit hole Where things need not make sense or Go at any particular pace for any set amount of time I wish I could walk with Alice through the beautiful garden And wander worry-free through strange lands It doesn't even matter if I'm only 12 inches tall Or taller than the highest tree I could have a tea-party with Hatters and Hares Who don't seem to mind if I'm a bit mad my thoughts will leave me alone enough To escape to a mushrooom top with a lazy caterpillar and Go on adventures with a Cheshire Cat If only the queen were not contstantly after my head Hurrying me along to a place unknown to me Chasing me away to where there is no place to hide I realize that I only know very little I know I'm scared of my daily fate Stampeding alongside terrible monsters I just remain hopeful that someday I will Fall into a rabbit hole that leads me somewhere Simpler than this dark confusing scattered world And I might break free of my own mind If I could I'm having a secret meeting in my room With my magazines and books Their words will always stay the same Their thickness and their looks I wish that I could be like that So sturdy, and stable, and same But my brain keeps playing tricks on me In some kind of maniacal game If I scream I'll upset everyone Like me, myself, and I If I hurt myself, my brain might stop But my eyes will start to cry Please wake me from this demented dream I promise I'll be good Just stay with me when I am scared I'd smile if I could The unwritten poem This poem, I found it yesterday The one I've been meaning to write With all the books I meant to read It was completely out of sight It must have been hiding there With the things I was going to learn I just couldn't seem to find it there Through all the twists and turns It had fallen through the broken dates And all the unmade beads So it lay there as completely useless As all my unplanted seeds I was going to look for it weeks ago But I found myself terribly busy With a pottery class I didn't attend So much action could make someone dizzy So now I wait for a phone call From a friend that I never called As I walk right through a tree that sits The one I never sawed Who knows where all the time goes In this lazy summer-day sun With all this work I must have forgot To get anything done Searching for normal As I gaze out my window into bright surroundings Battling internally with my thoughts I manage to wonder what it would be like To live as a normal person To experience the joy that is normality The comfort that is stability Time seems to pass so slowly From appointment to appointment From stress relief to exercise to medicine The defintion of therapy is unclear to me now How can I survive in such a distorted universe Sometimes green will be green Other times I see more rigid, more vivid colors My eyes often deceive me But not so nearly as often as my thoughts I'm scared that I never knew reality Right angles, delicate patterns, peculiar shapes Life is so surreal to me now I pray for my sanity I hope for redemption from this crazy world To somwhere I can love completely And experience life more fully I am the only thing that holds me back The Downpour The fading scent of a gloomy summertime donwpour Haunts the atmosphere of a dreary lifeless sky Hope for a sunny outlook is diminishing Soon, rain will rush like a seemingly never-ending stampede Towards the desolate earth The rain does not destroy the beautiful flowers Of my neighbors garden Or drown the permiscuous rabbits hiding in their burrows Somehow this phenomenom brings revival and life To those who accept it I can hear it now, the quiet echos of raindrops in the distance Faltering to the powers of gravity until ulimately Shattering on the pavement. Although I will not hear this sheet of noise forever It brings no comfort to realize that I must cope With this capricious episode for a limitless, indefinite duration The instability is erratic and is melancholia To my effervescent universe Debate between righteousness and despair I feel like i am all alone I have no friends, I have no home IF my internal pain shines through my shell I must be hurting people's eyes Look at me and see what you see Maybe angry or sad, but so not me My thoughts are more scrambled Than my morning breakfast eggs I'm not proud of my face I'm not proud of my legs It seems I am unable of feeling self-worth And I know that my fate was established at birth To be the psycho child in a stigma filled world The epitamy of pathetic to those high school it girls Webster can add a new definition for pain An eighteen year old girl Drowning in her own puddle of hopelessness Deserted by all, she is now left Completely and misterably alone Redemption, Revlation Get up out of bed Remember who you are Do not give up the fight I know you, you're strong You're a visionary Don't do this now You can be somebody But I can't go on I cant stop feeling Oh so passionately My highs are on top of mountains My lows sitting on ocean floors The median has been lost and forgotten There is no way out Everything is lost No one even knows who I am Experiemental Pschology Take your medications Find the perfect cocktail for you Drink it up with food and A cherry on top Leave your former self behind Leave your sleeplessness and rambunctioness The person who emerges Will be a complete mystery A girl I barely know And the world knows nothing of Don't try and save the planet You will only fail miserably |
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