Just for Fun

Haven't you ever wanted to do anything "just for fun"? Well, this is not an article on the unedifying nature of fun. Instead, it's my idea of fun--lots of questions for anyone who wants to answer them. To be honest, they are more serious than fun, so brace yourself! This is from an assignment I did while enrolled in the Telos Institute International. By the way, these are questions I will ask any guy who might ever be so crazy as to consider me for a bride. Of course, it would be in regular conversation, but writing out these questions helped me a lot in thinking through these issues myself.

Authority
• Once you get to be an adult, how much say should your parents have in the decisions you make?
• Have you ever been in a leadership position for Christian ministry?
• Have you ever made appeals to those in authority over you? Did they listen? Why did they or did they not listen, do you think?
• What is the Biblical model for marital roles, especially in the area of leadership?
• What is your definition of Biblical submission?
• If you were engaged to a girl, would you wait to get married if the girl’s parents desired it?
• What kind of challenges have you faced in your relationship with your parents?
• What do you think are the most common abuses of authority?
• How are authorities to view the leadership role? (Answer: From the perspective and performing the actions of servants)

Finances
• What kind of work are you doing to make a living?
• When a husband wants to make a major purchase, should he check with his wife first, or can he go ahead and make the decision on his own since he is the “head” of the family?
• Have you ever lost money on business deals that you thought would be great, but that the women in your family told you would fail?
• How much must women know about business for you to consider their financial advice worth considering?
• Would people trust you to invest and take care of their money for them?
• What kind of debt do you think is acceptable or desirable?
• What kind of debt do you avoid? Why would someone avoid debt at all?
• What kinds of jobs have you had over the years?
• If you had to start your own business, what skill would you use to try to earn a living?
• Do you own anything expensive that you think the Lord might ask you to sell in order to focus more on Him?
• If you bought a car, how much did you talk the dealer down before buying it?
• Have you ever received money as a direct answer to prayer?
• Does tithing apply to Christians today?
• Do you like to meet needs you see in the lives of others, even if it requires financial sacrifice? Have you ever had to pay someone back for taking something without his permission?

Health
• Have you ever had any health problems?
• Do you ever deal with anxiety or depression?
• Have you ever gone to bed angry?
• What do you know about nutritious food preparation?
• Do you like eating healthy foods, or do you prefer cooking and eating stuff that kills you?
(Some of these questions may not seem perceptive or discerning, but the health ones relate somewhat to whether a person considers his body’s being the temple of the Holy Spirit a deciding factor in how he treats it.)

Life Calling and Work
• What year (if in college) of college are you in right now, and what degree are you pursuing?
• What do you think is God’s purpose for your life?
• What do you feel God leading you to do as far as ministry?
• When you reach the end of your life, what do you want to be able to look back and see that you have accomplished?
• Do you think that the Lord has a specific calling for your life?
• What should be the relationship between a person’s work and ministry?

Marriage
• What are the gifts (of yourself—talents, and so forth—not things or money) you will be able to give to your spouse?
• Are you ready to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse?
• What do you think are the responsibilities of a wife?
• Should she have her own life and ministry, or should she look to fulfill her husband?
• What is a wife to do when her husband will not listen to her appeals regarding an area of sin in his life?
• What quality do you find the most attractive in a woman?
• Do you think it is acceptable for a woman to work outside the home, as long as she does not have a career focus?
• If a husband and wife disagree on a decision, how should they resolve it?
• What is true love? What is the opposite of love? How can you demonstrate genuine love to a future spouse?
• Can you think of any reasons that would make it necessary to postpone marriage, and would you be willing to do it if necessary?
• What objectives must people meet before it would be appropriate for them to marry?
• What attracts you to a woman?
• What kind of person do you think the Lord will have you marry?
• Is marriage for everyone, or do you think God may have given you the gift of singleness?

Children
• Have you heard the different philosophies of child training and discipline? Whom do you respect the most on this issue, and have you thought about how to put these matters into practice if you ever have children?
• How many children would you like to have?
• What do you think is the reason for the high abortion rate in our country?
• What philosophies motivate people to kill babies? How are we different?
• What kind of experience do you have with children?
• Do you think that children are a blessing, or a bother?

Expectations
• Have you yielded your expectations to the Lord and worked through important issues that could hinder the marital relationship?
• What kind of expectations do you have of a future spouse?
• What has your mother done for you your whole life?
• If you got home from work one night and found your wife talking on the telephone, regardless of the time, and having done nothing to prepare dinner, how would you respond?
• If your wife never did the laundry, would you say something to her, especially if she does not work?
• Who should take out the trash?
• In general, how do you think a couple should begin resolving expectations of each other before the wedding?
• How well do you handle home repairs?

Morality
• (For guys) When was your first date? What standards did her dad give you for the time you spent together? What did you think of his standards?
• Are there any activities or kinds of music that the Lord has convicted you to avoid? What are they, and how do you do that without offending Christian friends who do not agree?
• When it comes to physical intimacy in marriage, what do you think of the phrase “anything goes in marriage”?
• I know this is very personal, but have you ever looked at pornographic images, particularly the ones on the Internet? Are you being completely honest with me?
• What do you think is the feminine equivalent of pornography, since a woman does not always find visual stuff as stimulating as men do?
• How have you resolved “soul ties” from wrong friendships, whether evil or immoral?
• Have you sought their forgiveness for any wrongdoing in which you engaged with them?
• How should a couple maintain excitement in marriage and how can they avoid romantic attractions to other people?
• What is the final standard for morality?
• Are you accountable to anyone in the area of moral purity?
• How can you avoid “defrauding your brother” in the area of morality?

Theology
• If you were standing at heaven’s gates and needed to explain why God should let you in, what would you say?
• What church do you attend (this may tell you a lot about a person’s doctrinal persuasion and help in determining specific questions to ask)?
• What does your church teach, and do you agree with all of it?
• How do you explain the Trinity? Is the concept of a Triune God Scriptural?
• Do you believe in election for salvation, or does each person make that choice for himself? (Trick question!)

God's Word
• How much does the Bible apply to our lives currently?
• Is the Bible a book that God inspired, or do you think it is just a coordination of many writings of fallible men?
• Have you ever had the experience of praying for confirmation of direction, then seeing a passage of Scripture “jump out at you” with new meaning?
• What is the longest section of Scripture you have ever memorized? What did you learn from that passage?

Walk with the Lord
• How has the Lord allowed you to serve in the church you are attending?
• How much time do you spend in daily prayer and Bible reading?
• What answers have you seen to your prayers in the past few years?
• Do you often react to people in a way that they consider unwarranted?
• What kind of qualities do you think are necessary for married people to have?
• What qualities would your parents say are your strongest?
• What qualities would your friends and family say are your weakest?
• What kind of character qualities would marriage build in a person’s life if he responded correctly to the trials he faced?
• Do you spend time in prayer with other believers on a regular basis?
• Is there a specific person to whom you are accountable for spending regular time in God’s Word?
• How many people do you influence by your example each day? God’s Will
• What are your bases for making decisions?
• Do you like to figure things out yourself, or do you try to get other people to help you seek God’s direction?
• Do you think God has one particular person in mind for you to many?
• Is God’s will specific for each person, or is it general and such that we base decisions on our situations?