Reasonable Service - Mr. and Mrs. Right

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Mr. and Mrs. Right

My only claim to fame in this area is that I am Miss Picky, not that I am Miss Right. Be it known, however, that I have high standards for men as well as for women--at least in terms of ideals.

My original name for the woman who would meet all of my criteria for being the ideal woman was "Miss Right." However, I received feedback to the effect that many of these characteristics would only come with time and experience, which would render it quite unreasonable for an unmarried woman to meet all of these objectives.

Mrs. Right--Characteristics, Scriptures, and my personal responses in 2002

The Miss Right in Process--Characteristics with my personal responses in 2004

The Miss Right in Process--Characteristics with my personal responses in 2005

And, yes, I do have a list for Mr. Right. My standards for him are incredibly high.

1. No drinking and driving

2. No dating anyone else after the wedding

Oh, wait...here I am being cynical again. Instead of being cynical, I am going to be strange and list some positive qualities that I admire in some of the single men I know. Really. I realize that not all men possess all of these qualities. Furthermore, those who possess these qualities do not possess them exclusively. Perfection is not what I seek in a spouse (I would be waiting till I get to heaven if that were the case and I might still do that--you never know). However, I do believe that a man with a heart for the Lord will be on the path of sanctification and will seek to fill the role that God created for men. Below are some of the characteristics that I believe that God desires of men (and that I have seen, to some degree, in men who are not yet married).

They should be leaders of their homes. This is a bit difficult to determine very accurately prior to seeing a man with a wife and children. However, I believe that men who are good leaders will show it in their everyday lives even as they gently lead the people around them. Even if they are not in a position of leadership, they can take the lead in provoking each other unto love and to good works. Good leadership is not simple masculine assertiveness. An effective spiritual leader will determine God's desires for the people he is leading and will endeavor to impart those goals to those under him even while he works to enable them to fulfill God's desires.

They should love their wives. This, like leadership of a family, is a bit difficult to observe, in a direct sense, prior to a man's marriage. Still, it is possible to observe whether a man has his future wife in mind as he interacts with girls even while he is single. Paul instructed Timothy to treat the younger women like sisters even and especially in situations in which he might need to correct them. In Thessalonians, defrauding was forbidden. A man who is committed to sexual purity is demonstrating love for his wife even if he has yet to meet her.

They should study to show themselves approved. This characteristic should not be difficult to observe. In fact, the question is fairly simple: What is he doing with his life? If he is pleasing the Lord even in the smallest areas of his daily life and looking for more ways to serve the Lord and spending time in fellowship with the Lord, he is definitely "studying to show himself approved."

He studies God's Word. Psalm 119 actually states that living according to God's Word is what enables a young man to keep his way pure. Only studying God's Word will show a man what God desires and how to live as God desires. Psalm 1 lists many blessings for the man who spends much of his time pondering God's Word. I have seen this evidenced primarily in two ways: one is in a man's ability to use Scripture passages comfortably in normal conversation or to speak about God Himself and His nature in a way that reveals definite understanding of God's word; the other is in his application of God's Word to his daily life.

This list is incomplete even in terms of what I have observed; however, many of the other things I would mention fit into the same categories of those things I have already listed. Really, almost the entire Bible is dedicated to describing the life of a godly man. Comparatively speaking, few passages are written for women to follow. This makes it difficult to give an exhaustive list of desirable characteristics in men. If a man does fit the descriptions listed above, however, you can be sure the Lord will continue to change him because He has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

Of course, a man may fit the criteria I listed above without being Mr. Right–for me. I might even fit all of his criteria–technically–without being "The One." At the moment, I'm really not sure how to tell of the guy is Mr. Right. All the married girls I've met tell me, "You'll know." My response: "Thank you for that very helpful bit of advice." It is tempting to laugh in their faces, but I frankly admit my ignorance on this subject. I will let you know if I am ever enlightened. Actually, in all seriousness, the Lord has shown Himself faithful in revealing His will in all other aspects of my life, so I trust that He will do the same in this area. I honestly have no idea how He will do this, but I know that He will.