A.B.Normal was a pioneering effort. No we are not talking about the brain 
donor in Mel Brooke's film "Young Frankenstein", but about Ravi J.Deka's 
spoofy column on conspiracies,  paranormal events and the all evasive 
truths. Printed in the Assam Tribune,  the fortnightly column ran for over 
a year and is probably the first and so far  the only one of its kind in India.


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Fear of Flying
 
 

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Flat as a pancake??
          Nah!! Its Hollowed out!!


 The president of the International Flat Earth Research Society, Charles K. Johnson, is convinced  "The earth is flat" and the space program exists only to prop up the myth - that the earth is a globe.
"Nobody knows anything about the true shape of the world," he contends, basing his beliefs on the Bible.
" The Old Testament implies that the earth is flat, while in the new one, Jesus was shown the four corners of the world, which can be possible only if the earth is flat as a Pancake.  The spinning ball thing just makes the whole Bible a big joke."Declares Johnson asserting that the Flat Earth Society existed since the time of Moses. 

British astronomer Edmund Haley, on the other hand knew that the earth was a sphere's, but speculated that it might have several ones inside as well. The two inner shells having diameters comparable to Mars and Venus,  He also proposed that these inner spheres might support life, bathed in perpetual light created by a luminous atmosphere. 
Haley's hypothesis was taken up by an eccentric American  army captain named John Cleves Symmes, who decided the earth was made up of five concentric spheres. And that there was a huge opening, at each of the poles joining the worlds inside which were obviously inhabited. 
He travelled around the country trying to raise money for an expedition to the north polar hole, even petitioning the US Congress, a proposal which garnered twenty-five votes. An expedition financed by a rich doctor yielded no hole, but surely inspired es Verne and Rice Burroughs to  write a series of novels about the world within ours. Scantily clad damsels, savages, lizards and all. 

A few years later another American called Cyrus Teed had a vision: "The  earth  is  a hollow sphere, and we live inside it. Everything else in the universe  is  in  here  with  us, the sun the moon and the stars. Outside the sphere - Nothing !!.
Teed's cosmology appealed to the Biblical fundamentalists as it made the earth important  again. In 1870 he changed his name to Koresh (like David Koresh of Branch Davidian) and   started  a  cult called Koreshan Unity, which peaked at 4,000 followers.

Koresh has it that the scientists  had  everything  backward:  It  is centrifugal    force, not gravity, that keeps our feet planted  on  the  ground.  The    sphere  is about  25,000  miles around, and the largest body within it is the moon; slightly less then a kilometre in diameter, and the sun's only  eight  feet  across.
The crazy theory  is in a way virtually impossible to refute as it is grounded on "inversion"  geometric    transformation  that lets a mathematician turn shapes inside-out. When a sphere is inverted, every point  outside is mapped to a corresponding point inside, and vice versa. Thus all the corresponding law of Physics equally invert. 
Except for his followers the only other people who took him seriously were the Nazis who went to the Isle of Man with a secret mission of photographing the United States by pointing their powerful telescopes "up".

In the 20th century  it was William Reed who published a book  in 1906, called "Phantom of the Poles" where he claimed, "I am able to prove my theory that the earth is not only hollow, but suitable in its interior to sustain human life with as little discomfort as on its exterior". Marshall B. Gardner, who wrote about Symmes' theory a few years later,  rejected his notion of five concentric spheres, but enthusiastically adopted the idea of openings at the poles. According to Gardner, the interior of the earth was lighted by a small sun about six hundred miles in diameter. 

However,  in 1926 when Admiral Richard E. Byrd made his first flight over the North Pole, and in 1929 he performed the same feat at the South Pole apparently not finding any gaping holes, or did he?? 

For years rumors have persisted that on his historic next flight to the North Pole in 1947, Admiral Byrd flew beyond the Pole into an opening leading inside the Earth where he met with advanced beings who had a sobering message for him to deliver to Mankind on the Surface World. Thus upon his return to Washington, on March 11, 1947 he was interviewed by top security forces who  placed him under strict control and ordered to remain silent on the behalf of humanity/ his sanity. 

Next was the turn of the "Deros" man,  Dick ..er, Richard Shaver to propagate the case of the underground race. But that was until the appearance of  the 267 year old Princess Sharula Aurora Dux (who looks 30). Claiming  she  has been officially appointed Ambassador to the surface world. Illuminated by a central sun, the inner kingdom is called Agharta with a  main-city of Shamballa and the one located below Rajasthan, conveniently called "Rama". 

Lately a  South African author Jan Lamprecht,  in a new book called  "Hollow Earth" (Worldwide Publishers) says that his hollow Earth theory is supported by the fact that radiation linked  to Chernobyl was found at the South Pole -- even though radiation from the plant  never rose high enough to reach jet stream winds that could blow it into Antarctica.

All the theories nonwithstanding, Norwegian fishermen always believed in a lore that a lush green land existed to the north, eternally surrounded by mist and illuminated by a hazy sorce.

Similarly in two identical episodes, one in the 12th century near Suffolk, England and the other in Banjos, Spain in August of 1887. A boy and a girl of greenish colour were found abandoned  wearing unfamiliar clothing and speaking an alien language. The most peculier thing was that they were greenish in colour and that they lived in a place with no sun. In both the case they got lost in a cave prior to being found on our outside world!!

© Ravi J. Deka 2000

* The column is meant for entertainment only and the author does not stand by the authenticity of any of the facts  and episodes mentioned. 



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