A.B.Normal was a pioneering effort. No we are not talking about the brain 
donor in Mel Brooke's film "Young Frankenstein", but about Ravi J.Deka's 
spoofy column on conspiracies,  paranormal events and the all evasive 
truths. Printed in the Assam Tribune,  the fortnightly column ran for over 
a year and is probably the first and so far  the only one of its kind in India.


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Subterranean civilizations, Tesla, Marconi and cities of Atlantis ..
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voices in the mind... Zapped
 
 

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Sucking the Blood of the Sufferers.
 
 

Inside out, or flat out?? Nazis and creationists...
Flat as a Pancake??
Nah its Hollowed out!!

   


 

Fear of Flying


 The Saint Lawrence Agency of Altamonte Springs, Florida, promises that it has boldly gone where no Insurance Company has ever gone before. Their subsidiary "The UFO Abduction Insurance Company" is offering a unique coverage from Alien abductions for a single lifetime premium of  $19.95 + $3.00 (Same Day Shipping) since 1987, and yes, one can be one's own Beneficiary.
Claims upto $10,000,000.00 can be made against the policy provided the Claim Form bears the signature of an Authorised Onboard Alien.

Blame it on Whitley Strieber !! His 1987 novel the "Communion", featuring stalking E.T's and hypnotic recession turned the tables upon the aliens and overnight they were transformed from visionary guardians giving joy rides to the likes of George Adamski and Billy Meyers to  Vaderites in grey. Professing  to be a multiple abductee, Strieber recalls with horror how he was regularly molested by a group of humanoid extra-terrestrials, small in stature grey in colour and having the tell-tale alien eyes, catlike,  black and unblinking. Thus defining the quintessential "Grey".

The book had many takers. All those convinced that nothing good ever came out of foreigners whether they were from another country or another world were quick to point the plausibility of events. Thousands came out of the closet and spoke of their own encounters, Abduction Research became a science and the UFO Magazine started carrying classifieds like "UNDESIRABLE ALIENS REMOVED FROM YOUR LIFE! call ...".

Despite his traumas, Whitley Strieber isn't complaining. The  book was quickly made into a film. The sequel  "Transformation" was printed in 1989 and by the time his third book "Breakthrough: The next step" was out in 1995,  Strieber was well on his way in becoming the Nancy Friday of UFOlogy.

The phenomenon of kidnapping entities is not entirely new. Allegations of being rendered submissive and taken aboard a UFO and being subjected to weird tests and rites are remarkably parallel to medieval stories of Witches taken into the air for meetings with the devil. 
Similarly, many UFO abductees are left with strange markings and scars just like the people abducted earlier by the fairies. 
Many modern victims are astounded to discover strange markings on their skin which are visible only when exposed to ultra violet or 'black light'. Usually fluorescent green, resembling geometricaly shaped tattoos. In one extraordinary case a person discovered the Mandelbrot Fractal on his arm. The same mathematical formula which keeps popping up in crop circles and  Chinese hieroglyphs. 

Once inside the alien lab, the abductees are invariably stripped and made to lie on a table. Among the reasons offered for the disrobing is that facilitates the inspection and prevents stealing of souvenirs and alien artefacts. 
The people are then examined by strange machines, their bodies probed and implants inserted. Some Grey's stare into abductees' eyes from very close distances. Dubbed as "mindscan" these procedures are held as neurological manipulations allowing them  to read human minds.
Others  report that they were made to have skin contact with unusual looking babies, which look like hybrids between humans and aliens. Occasionally, sexual intercourse with other humans, adolescent and adult hybrids is also on the menu.

Ever since 23-year old Brazilian farmer Antonio Boas  told the world how he was spirited away in a Flying Saucer where he was seduced by a redhead, in 1957. Thereby becoming the world's first claimant to zero-gravity as well as inter-planetary sex, hundreds till date have echoed the claim. 
However, the Incubus and Sucubus of yore managed exactly the same without flaunting the silver spaceships of today's promiscuous  E.Ts. 
But, UFO specialists reject that such occurrences are purely Freudian or fabricated. They are convinced that collecting human semen, harvesting embryos and impregnating women with hybrids is the key to alien races survival, whose organs of procreation have atrophied due to being overtly platonic. Others discount them as intergalactic perverts as their fold contains Repteloids, Insectoids, Nordics, etc..

"Many women who have been sexually assaulted by space aliens have profound, inexplicable feelings of helplessness, guilt and fear," states feminist UFO author and psychologist Naomi Wulfberg. Adding that women suspecting of alien violations need urgent professional help. 

With stories of alien abductions surfacing only under hypnosis or prolonged therapy, the Cosmic sex fiends have proven to be slippery customers and the only one caught so far turned out to be a frustrated accountant from Bogota, Columbia.

43 year old Luis Camargo was arrested and convicted of statutory rape after the parents of a 14-year-old girl complained that he had promised her a blast in his spaceship if she had sex with him.
Having designed himself a spacesuit out of a shiny green fabric and wearing a green plastic mask, he lurked in a suburban park surprising his many willing victims on lonely pathways. 

"He told me that I had discovered his secret mission to Earth and that it was very important that I not betray him," said 18 year old Maria Delgado. "He said he was an observer from the planet Zonda, sent here to try to prevent the world from involvement in a terrifying war. 
"He was just so cute," added 23-year-old secretary Andrea Durano. "He was all green and everything and I was just so excited to be with a real space alien." 

© Ravi J. Deka 2000

* The column is meant for entertainment only and the author does not stand by the authenticity of any of the facts  and episodes mentioned. 



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