| TIME LINE |
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| THE LIFE, TIMES AND ASEXUAL EXPLOITS OF PLANET MORON December 1999 The world prepares for a new millennium. But, after a careless, contraceptive-free, drunken one night stand involving Paul, Woodsey and anonymous, non-gender specific others, what they didn't prepare for was... August 2000 ... the birth of PLANET MORON. Actually, the sex bit's a lie. We just wrote the thing, it wasn't actually physically 'born', that's just a metaphor. Also, Paul and Woodsey aren't attracted to each other because they're both men and gays don't exist. The 'first wave' of PLANET MORON was particularly crude and, worse, made dinnerladies look like a humorous option for apathetic wealthy land-owning pigs. Pigs, like 'birth', is a metaphor. August 2000 Nothing happens to PLANET MORON. September 2000 Nothing happens to PLANET MORON. October 2000 Nothing happens to PLANET MORON. November - December 2000 Paul discovers the hyphen. January 2001 A friend of Woodsey's reveals that PLANET MORON has actually been posted on the Real Internet, where previously he (Woodsey, not his friend) thought that it had been deleted into the oblivion of cyberspace. Upon seeing the (rather plain-looking) front page, two things occur to him. 1) To open Pagebuilder and take out the libellous Victoria Wood rantings and 2) that him and Paul could actually make something worthwhile from this. Not financially. February 2001 Making the decision to refer to January's edition of PLANET MORON (or PM, as it shall hereby be referred to as) as PM1, their website becomes a monthly must-see for humour-starved ITV viewers. March 2001 Music reviews are invented. Many music publications attempt, and fail, to replicate The Truth set up by PM. First single reviewed was the Stereophonics' Mr. Writer. Considering this was made after their cracking debut album, it was bound to be rubbish. And it was. Remorselessly so. September 2001 Paul leaves PM's hometown for the University of East Anglia. In addition to a sarcastic message wishing him good luck at university, Woodsey also fills in the substantial gaps left by Paul and attempts to lighten the pitch black tone by constantly using pitch black backgrounds. Irony. December 2001 PM's first Christmas. His mum got drunk and embarrassing, and he found his sister was pregnant with a half-human half-frog baby. It was a tad(pole) alarming (HAHAHA. - Ed). September 2002 Woodsey gets his first taste of gainful employment. But he doesn't, like Paul (is there supposed to be a comma there? - Ed), let some measly Other Thing get in the way of his priorities to ENTERTAIN THE MASSES (Paul just likes to entertain himself. HEH. - Ed). Woodsey has a brush with militarism, and tries to incorporate this into the captions of PM's brand new photo album. THE TIMELINE CONTINUES... |