| "A Bitter Little Story" |
| It's Mary, here, with her kiddie Jesus. Now, you may notice the extreme difference in language on this site. For instance, Woodsey's words are crafted on light humour and wit. Paul's words are crafted to go straight to the gullet (see his views on 'Dinnerladies') and contain high quantities of cynicism, sarcasm and hard edged humour. Just so you know. Now, on to the bitter little story. Imagine, if you would, dear reader, for a second: two plucky young fellows. Not much age difference, each bobbing around the years of about 18. They are both reasonably intelligent, one of them is the Funny One, the other is the Twisted One. Imagine these two lads meeting weekly, to convey their respective funny/twisted thoughts on to this thing called paper. A bit odd, you might think. But not all that odd, since The Funniest Thing Ever Written By Someone Young Award is coming up, and the paper, is indeed, a script for a sitcom. Although the Funny One does quite a lot more work on this sitcom than the Twisted One (about a fair 95/5 split in workload)(I like that bit. - Woodsey) within a few months they have created the first episode of a Moderately Funny Sitcom, with Simpsons-esque humour, and a taste for old so-bad-they're-awesome jokes. A good formula, you might think. As they did. The Funniest Thing Ever Written By A Young Person award looms, and it must be noted here that these awards are created by none other than The Big, Big Corporation For Funny Written Things, so it's high class stuff here. And the Funny One and the Twisted One thought they were in with a chance...a whole episode written... and they sent it off to The Big, Big Corporation For Funny Written Things. And then they waited. And waited. And waited. They checked The Big, Big Corporation For Funny Written Things web page... and there was a list of names.... they cheeky fellows scanned down for their names... alas, to no avail. The Big, Big Corporation Of Funny Written Things deemed it necessary for the chaps' A Moderately Funny Sitcom not to be even considered, and they were sent a letter basically saying "Sorry we have neither the time or the patience to even bother reading your script.... come back when you have some talent... Stupid Moderately Funny Sitcom". Heartbroken and distraught, the Funny One and the Twisted One went into a cocoon of contemplation and bitterness.... bitterness against a world that acccepts Apparently Funny Things of which the creators say "This is a Moderately Funny Thing with a difference.... it isn't played for laughs". And so, The Big, Big Stupid Corporation Of Not Very Funny Written Things continues its reign over the airwaves, while the two writers sit, and pile all their bitterness into a world which appears to be against them at all turns...... "It's all a tissue of lies!!!!!!!!!" - Greg Dy- um, I mean Head of The Big, Big Stupid Corporation Of Not Very Funny Written Things |
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