Mark slams rivals head-on and leaves their wreckage in the dust

Mark approached Week 8 of the Sunday Football Picks the same way he approaches PlayStation's ATV Off-Road Fury, with reckless abandon and unbridled aggression that leaves the rest of the field damaged and limping behind him.  He successfully picked the lowly Bengals and two other underdogs to achieve an 11-2 record that tied the year's best performance.  Let's go to the video replay to see how things unfolded on Sunday.  Well, you'll have to be satisfied with written commentary since the television is not in front of you showing the thrilling footage.

Although he wasn't a Spoon Man that morning with his typical Fishbowl-size helping of cereal, Mark did Crumble and munch a few chocolate Pop Tarts and drink a glass of milk to help strengthen Them Bones.  Then it was on to the Picks!

Mark began racing down the right path when his underdog Panthers used a veteran move to jump to an early 10-0 advantage in New Orleans.  A rookie mistake made them land awkwardly, though, and the Saints motored back to grab a 17-10 lead.  But after the game was tied, the Saints were taken to school in overtime as Carolina prevailed 23-20.

Mark was the only person riding with the sluggish Bengals, who gunned their engines in the fourth quarter to overtake the mighty Seahawks.  The wild and crazy ride ended with Seattle running out of fuel and Cincinnati taking the checkered flag by a fender, or perhaps a field goal, at 27-24.

Mark's Ravens put an ambulance hit on the injured Broncos, who couldn't avoid a 26-6 thrashing in Baltimore.  Denver was bumped off track and sent reeling into a rolling crash-and-burn in the fourth quarter.  No identifiable parts were left of the team.

Mark's Chiefs, dressed in Answer Red or maybe a similar color, were waiting atop the NFL hill at 7-0.  They came barreling down to smash the Bills 38-5.  The impact was direct and severe, and Buffalo appeared lifeless after the thunderous collision.  Mark wants everyone to know that Kansas City is the 12th team since 1972 to start a season 8-0.  Feel free to ask him about the significance of that accomplishment.

Mark's Buccaneers knocked the 5-1 Cowboys off their plateau by shutting them out 16-0, and his Eagles reached a junior plateau of 4-3 by edging the Jets 24-17.  Mark's underdog Rams performed several aerial stunts in Pittsburgh, and that definitely made their mid-air trick-master proud.  St. Louis even landed in great form with a 33-21 triumph.

After the day's widespread wreckage was assessed, Mark's record was found to be the least dented of them all at 11-2.  He was an impressive 19-1 in head-to-head match-ups, including 5-0 against D.J. to extend his overall lead to six games over second-place Girlie.  Mark's only head-to-head loss was at the hands of Blaine's Giants, who labeled the undefeated Vikings with an explosive ego-bending jolt of 29-17.  Minnesota apparently failed to tweak its offense enough during the game.