Saddam yanked from hole while Mark digs deeper one for Picks pals

Mark didn't get any ideas when Shia LeBeouf starred in "Holes" earlier this year, but a light bulb apparently flickered over his head last weekend when he saw American soldiers pull Saddam Hussein out of a dirty hole in Iraq.  Mark went right for his shovel in Week 15 and dug a hole a little deeper for his Picks competitors, stretching his 12-game lead to a 14-game advantage with just two weeks remaining.

Mark (142-64) said he wasn't criticizing the fallen Iraqi leader, but the narrow hiding place Saddam created in a safehouse north of Baghdad was obviously not deep enough to extend the eight-month manhunt by U.S. forces.  Soldiers were seconds away from tossing a hand grenade in the hole when the armed fugitive finally surrendered.  Meanwhile, Mark has been pursued for four months by his Picks rivals, and doesn't want to get caught lying down like Saddam.  He responded by posting a 12-3 mark on Sunday, setting an all-time record for the best four-week period in the Picks.  His dominant run of 45-13 edged D.J.'s streak of 41-12 from 1998.

Saddam wasn't impressed the least bit by that accomplishment when contacted Monday at his new steel-barred accommodations in an undisclosed location.  During a break in interrogations, the bushy-eyebrowed prisoner said people in his country who gain too much power too fast often receive a surprise visit from the Grim Reaper.  "This tall German man in your organization would have painfully lost a limb for every week he won after the first month," Saddam said through an interpreter.  "I assure you he would be setting no records of any kind in Iraq."

Asked how he knows of the Sunday Football Picks, the haggard former dictator said he discovered Picks Central on the Internet while doing a Google search for Osama bin Laden.  Saddam's lips tightened as he clenched his fists.  "Osama stole my spotlight last year in the Week 2 story!" he shouted.  "When terrorists and tyrants are talked about, I should be first to be mentioned!  I am the king of evil!  You Americans are so foolish!"  After a long pause, a perplexed-looking Saddam stroked his long gray beard and asked, "Who the heck are the almighty Picks Gods, anyway?"

Every Picks member reached double figures in victories in Week 15, but their efforts might be too little too late as Mark nears the title of sole survivor, just like Sandra did Sunday night in the Pearl Islands.  Blaine, who trails by 24 games with just 25 left, confided that he might tell Mark not to submit any picks for the final two weeks as the family mourns the sudden death of a loving grandmother.  Mark would then be penalized 25 losses by rule.  You go, Johnny Fairplay!